Offering prayers to ancestors on the 3rd day of Tet: 7 things to keep in mind to ensure it's done correctly.

In the Vietnamese psyche, the third day of Tet is the day to "send off the ancestors," marking the end of the first three days of family reunions in the year.

Culinary artist Ho Thi Hoang Anh introduces a tray of food offered to ancestors - Illustration photo: Provided by Ho Thi Hoang Anh

According to the Buddhist Information Portal , although each region has different customs, the common spirit remains the same: commemorating and showing gratitude to ancestors. However, from a Buddhist perspective, what is important is not the elaborate rituals, but the filial piety and the practice of the Dharma correctly.

Here are seven things to keep in mind:

1. Understand the correct meaning: commemoration, not "farewell."

According to the doctrines of karma and reincarnation, the deceased are reborn into a corresponding realm depending on their karma. No one "comes home for Tet" and then "leaves" in the physical sense. Therefore, the ceremony on the third day of Tet is not a ritual to bid farewell to the soul, but rather an occasion for descendants to remember the gratitude owed to their parents for giving them life and nurturing them with filial piety. Understanding this correctly helps avoid falling into superstition.

2. Let filial piety be the foundation.

In Buddhism, filial piety is the foundation of all virtuous deeds. The Buddha taught that being filial to one's parents is a great blessing. Ancestral worship only has meaning when descendants are grateful, remember the merits of their ancestors, and vow to live worthy lives. If one merely prepares elaborate offerings without a sincere heart, the ceremony loses its essence.

3. Simple, dignified, and avoid ostentation.

Buddhism emphasizes simplicity. The offering tray doesn't need to be extravagant; what's important is purity and sufficiency within the family's means. It could be rice, soup, fruit, tea, and water. Avoid competing to create lavish offerings just to "keep up with the Joneses," because comparison and ostentation go against the spirit of mindfulness.

4. Limit the burning of votive paper.

Burning votive paper is a folk custom, not a Buddhist doctrine. Buddhism teaches the living to create merit and dedicate it to the deceased, not to "send" material possessions through fire. Instead of spending money on votive paper, families can do good deeds – helping the poor, supporting charities – and then dedicate the merit to their ancestors. That merit is the most practical "asset."

5. Reciting sutras, chanting Buddha's name, and dedicating merit.

After offering incense, the family can recite a short sutra such as the Amitabha Sutra, the Ullambana Sutra, or chant the Buddha's name. The important thing is to dedicate the merit: "May this merit be dedicated to the departed soul…". According to the true Dharma, only a virtuous heart and the power of merit can assist the deceased, if they are fortunate enough to receive it.

6. Maintain harmony in the family.

In many places, the ancestral worship ceremony has become an occasion for arguments about inheritance, rivalry, and reproach. This is completely contrary to the spirit of filial piety. The ceremony to send off ancestors is primarily a reminder for descendants to live in harmony and unity. A word of compromise, a handshake of reconciliation on this day is more precious than a lavish feast.

7. Translate the ceremony into concrete actions.

After the incense burns out, the important thing is not "the ceremony is over," but how we live our lives afterward. Consider this an opportunity to make a vow: in the new year, we will take better care of our living parents, uphold family traditions, do good deeds, and avoid evil. That is the true and lasting way to show filial piety.

Therefore, the third day of the Lunar New Year is not just a ceremonial day, but an opportunity to reflect on family ties and moral principles. According to Buddhism, filial piety does not stop at the altar, but extends to how we treat our living parents and everyone around us.

If, on this day, each family knows how to light an incense stick with a pure heart, reducing superstition and adding a little understanding of the true Dharma, then the ancestral worship ceremony will become a beautiful cultural tradition that is both traditional and pure. And when the hearts of descendants are at peace and they know how to live virtuously, that is the longest-lasting spring offered to their ancestors.

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HOAI PHUONG - VIETNAMESE BUDDHIST INFORMATION PORTAL

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/cung-dua-ong-ba-mung-3-tet-7-luu-y-cho-dung-chanh-phap-20260219101140287.htm