Some people unconsciously become the "most agreeable version" of themselves in any relationship. At work, they take on extra tasks even when already overloaded, simply because they're afraid of being judged as uncooperative. In love, they constantly tolerate things to avoid conflict. With friends, they smile and nod in agreement even though they have many things they don't want to say.
At first glance, it might seem like a sign of sensitivity and empathy. But behind that "pleasantness" sometimes lies a silent crisis: they gradually lose their individual voice, no longer know what they truly want, and live more according to the expectations of others than their own desires.
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At work, they take on extra tasks even when already overloaded, simply because they're afraid of being perceived as uncooperative. Photo: Magnific. |
Psychologists call this the people-pleasing tendency – a behavior of constantly trying to please others in exchange for validation or to avoid feeling rejected. According to the American Psychological Association, people with this tendency often have difficulty setting personal boundaries and are more likely to prioritize the needs of others over their own mental health.
Meanwhile, Psychology Today once analyzed that people with high levels of empathy are more likely to absorb negative emotions from their surroundings. If they don't know how to protect their personal energy, they are prone to emotional exhaustion, prolonged anxiety, and feelings of emptiness.
In reality, many people confuse kindness with self-sacrifice. They believe that refusing someone is selfish, expressing a differing opinion is insensitive, and putting themselves first is heartless. Therefore, they constantly shrink themselves to fit the expectations of others.
Anita Moorjani deeply understands that feeling. She gained global recognition through her bestselling memoir, * Return from the Dead *, which became a New York Times bestseller after recounting her near-death experience and miraculous recovery. The book conveys a powerful message about being true to yourself instead of constantly seeking external acceptance.
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Two books by author Anita Moorjani |
Continuing that journey, in her book *The Power of Empathy *, Anita Moorjani delves deeper into the inner world of sensitive people. She points out that empathy is a gift, but it can become a burden if people don't know how to set emotional boundaries. Absorbing all of another person's sadness, expectations, or disappointments doesn't make you kinder; it only exhausts you.
According to Anita Moorjani, a truly mature person isn't someone who always says "yes," but rather someone who understands themselves well enough to know when to say "no." They don't need to be cold or selfish, but simply learn to respect their own feelings as much as they care about others.
In a society where many are obsessed with being liked and conforming to the group, maintaining individual identity is becoming a rare form of courage. Because the most frightening thing isn't disappointing others. What's more frightening is realizing one day that you've lived too long in the persona others want you to be, to the point of forgetting who you truly are.
Source: https://znews.vn/hoi-chung-tac-ke-hoa-va-con-doi-ban-sac-post1652097.html
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