Living together, living separately

Ms. Le Thi Ngu's family with 4 generations living together is always happy and harmonious.

After graduating from college, Ms. Thanh Huyen in Dong Hiep commune, Can Tho city, worked in the warehouse department of a garment company. She married Mr. Huu Quan, from the same hometown, a salesman. At first, after getting married, the couple rented a house to make it easier to go to work. On weekends and holidays, they both visited her husband's parents and were very happy. When Ms. Huyen was pregnant, Mr. Quan discussed with her about moving back to live with her husband's parents so that they would have someone to help them. When she was still hesitant, Mr. Quan promised to save enough money to buy land and build a house of their own. Hearing that, Ms. Huyen was also moved.

However, during the process of living with her husband's family, conflicts gradually arose. Having to work and take care of all the housework at the same time, Ms. Huyen was very tired. Many days, the work at the company was stressful, and when she got home, Ms. Huyen did not dare to express it, but just silently felt sad. "Every time I mentioned moving out, my husband still hesitated. Living together, my husband had a dependent mentality, rarely taking the initiative to help with housework and taking care of the children. Sometimes when I was sad, I did not know who to share it with..." - Ms. Huyen shared.

Right from the time they got married, My Linh and Khai in Thoi An Dong ward, Can Tho city, agreed not to live with each other's families. They wanted to enjoy their newlywed years. Linh worked as a saleswoman at a supermarket, her husband had a small company specializing in electricity and water construction, with a good income. After getting married, they saved money and borrowed more from the bank to buy an apartment. They were happy and peaceful until Linh gave birth, when many problems arose in the small family.

Mr. Khai said: “Living separately, my wife and I have free space. However, after having children, we faced many difficulties. My child often got sick, and every time my child got sick and I was busy with work, my wife had to take care of him alone. So my wife quit her job to take care of the child. Now I have to shoulder all the household expenses and bank debts alone, which is very stressful. Sometimes when we see our friends with grandparents who are close to them and help take care of their children, my wife and I also wish...”.

After getting married, Khanh and his wife in Phu Loi ward, Can Tho city, also lived with his wife's parents for more than 5 years. Ms. Thuy - Khanh's wife is the eldest sister of 2 younger brothers. According to the couple, living together has many good things, as long as everyone knows how to sympathize, behave appropriately, love and respect each other.

Ms. Thuy confided: “With grandparents and uncles helping to take care of the children, my husband and I feel very secure and can focus on our careers. My husband is also very tactful. Whenever he receives guests, he always makes sure not to come home too late, leaving his parents waiting at the door. He also takes the initiative to share the housework, cares for his wife’s parents and siblings by eating together on weekends, or giving relatives small gifts on holidays and Tet. After saving and accumulating until now, my husband and I have enough money and asked our parents for permission to live separately, because my younger brothers are also of marriageable age.”

Ms. Le Thi Ngu in Cai Rang Ward, Can Tho City, is a daughter-in-law in a family with 4 generations living together, but always keeps the "fire" of happiness and warmth. Ms. Ngu shared that her husband's family has 3 brothers, all living and working far away. Ms. Ngu's parents-in-law are over 60 years old this year, still healthy, passionate about work; above them is a grandmother who is nearly 90 years old.

Ms. Ngu said: “When I first became a daughter-in-law, I was still very clumsy, my mother-in-law guided me carefully, from cooking to farming. She was very tactful and taught her children to be polite, obedient, and understanding. The family has 2 fields, one is cultivated by my husband's parents, the other is worked by my husband and I, the profits are kept by my husband and I to raise our children. My husband and I have 3 sons, the oldest son graduated from university and is working, the middle son is in university, the youngest son is in 3rd grade. I feel happy because the family is always warm and harmonious.”

According to psychologists, depending on living conditions and family conditions, couples choose to live together or separately after marriage. Reality shows that a harmonious family, where husband and wife understand, sympathize, and share responsibilities, no matter where they live, everyone will feel happy, joyful, and filial.

Article and photos: TAM KHOA

Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/o-chung-o-rieng-a188626.html