'I just hope to sell 50 lottery tickets every day.'

The glamorous image of the once-famous actress Trang Thanh Xuan now only remains in memory. Due to heart disease, she had to stop singing, and burdened by the struggle for survival, she had to wander far and wide selling lottery tickets to earn a living.

She agreed to meet us at the gate of the Pháp Thủy Meditation Center (District 8, Ho Chi Minh City), where the ashes of her recently deceased sister are kept. No longer the famous artist Trang Thanh Xuân of the past, she is now 73 years old, dressed in a faded blue outfit, carrying a cloth bag on her shoulder, and walking with a cane, taking hesitant steps down the narrow alley.

Speaking to a VTC News reporter, she shared her life story with a mixture of sadness and resignation. After our meeting, we repeatedly offered to drive her from the temple back to her rented room, but she always refused. Given her current health, getting in and out of the car was very difficult for her, even more strenuous than walking.

Artist Trang Thanh Xuan was a highly sought-after leading actress, famous in Saigon since the 1970s.

Avoiding cải lương (traditional Vietnamese opera) and colleagues due to feelings of inferiority.

- It has been a long time since fans of Cai Luong (Vietnamese traditional opera) have had the opportunity to hear the voice of actress Trang Thanh Xuan, despite numerous requests for her return to the stage?

It's been almost 40 years since I last returned to the Cai Luong (Vietnamese traditional opera) stage. And I won't step onto the stage again, perhaps because my connection with the profession ended long ago. Now I live under the name Dao Thi Thanh Xuan, but I'll keep Trang Thanh Xuan for 38 years ago.

Why do you make such a clear distinction about yourself?

From the age of 20, I was famous under the name Trang Thanh Xuan. As the lead actress, I performed with Minh Vuong, Le Thuy, Thanh Kim Hue, and others, from Saigon to neighboring provinces. But after so many years of just singing, I didn't get married, didn't own a house, and had no savings... I was probably the poorest lead actress at that time.

In 1986, after having to retire due to heart disease, I no longer considered myself the cải lương (Vietnamese traditional opera) artist Trang Thanh Xuân. What other artist couldn't tolerate the drums, trumpets, and stage sounds like I did? From that moment on, I knew my connection with the stage had ended.

After retiring from singing, to make a living, I boiled corn and sold it from a cart. Before, as an artist, I only knew how to travel with theater troupes; my limbs were weak, and now I had to do heavy work. Although I couldn't do it, I still tried. However, the hard work wasn't going well, so after a while, I switched to selling records, which was easier. But selling records was also slow, and I quit soon after.

In 1990, I started selling lottery tickets, a job that suited my health and provided enough to live on until now.

Choosing to sell lottery tickets to make a living, I never boasted that I was Trang Thanh Xuan. Even when I lacked food and clothing, I never begged for money from the audience. For over 38 years, I have accepted my fate.

- Now that you're no longer on stage, do you miss your profession and your former colleagues?

In the past, if you compare myself to others, I also had a golden age, not inferior to anyone. But perhaps it was my fate, and there was no way to change it.

When I first retired from singing, I missed it terribly. Listening to Vu Linh sing made my heart ache. I missed everyone, I missed Xuan Lan, Minh Vuong… Most people are stable and peaceful. Maybe I'm the only one who's been unlucky and unfortunate, but I'm happy for everyone else.

Even the close camaraderie we once shared as colleagues is a thing of the past. Now, they're all important people while I'm selling lottery tickets. I feel so sad and resentful that I don't dare approach them.

Nearly 40 years have passed, and things have calmed down, but life remains uncertain, making me feel ashamed and guilty in front of my former colleagues, so I don't want to see them again.

Even if people meet me and remember who I am, there's still a distance. That's why it's been a long time since I've stepped onto a stage or watched television.

Trang Thanh Xuan's golden age now only remains in the memories of her fans, as she has completely severed her ties with the Cai Luong stage for nearly 40 years.

I just hope to sell all 50 lottery tickets each day.

- After her sister passed away, with no other relatives around, what was her life like?

Before, when my younger sister was alive, we relied on each other, barely making ends meet. Now that she's gone, I'm burdened with rent, utilities, and a large debt. This debt was incurred while my sister was hospitalized and receiving medication for over two months.

Even though my sister had insurance, the additional amount I have to pay is too much for me. It's been a while since my sister passed away, but I still haven't paid off all my debts.

Every day I still regularly sell lottery tickets, even when I'm sick or in the hospital, I don't dare take a single day off. But lately I haven't been able to sell as much as before because of my joint pain; I walk slower, limping from morning till evening. If I'm lucky, I sell 60 or 70 tickets, but if I'm in too much pain, I can only manage 50 tickets, just enough money for food, rent, and debt installments.

- With an unstable income, are you eligible for any additional support?

I eat whatever anyone gives me now. As for rent, if I'm short, I'll borrow money to pay it in advance, or ask the landlord for a few days' extension. I'll pay it back as soon as I've earned enough from selling lottery tickets. Things are more difficult when I'm sick or unwell.

People don't understand and think she's a burden to me, but that's not the case. When she's sick, no one knows what's going on, and I have a responsibility to take care of her. Now, I'll take responsibility for the debts. Before, with just the two of us, life was a mix of hunger and plenty, but it was still good. Having each other to sell lottery tickets was better; life wasn't as miserable as it is now.

Sometimes I receive support from benefactors and the Artists' Benevolent Association, but now I suffer from many age-related illnesses, so everyone's help is like "wind blowing through an empty house."

Just as my worries began to ease, illness struck. I also know there are many people out there who are suffering more than I am, and no one can be by my side helping me all the time.

I also don't want to "sell my story" to gain sympathy. Many people tell me why I don't portray myself as miserable and ragged so that people will feel sorry for me. I may be poor, but I absolutely cannot be stingy or slovenly.

- Why did she refuse to go to an artist's nursing home where she could be taken care of in her old age and no longer have to struggle to make a living?

Even if I were eligible to go to a nursing home now, I couldn't. Because I still have debts. If I went in, I wouldn't have to worry about food and shelter, but I wouldn't be allowed to sell lottery tickets; how could I possibly pay them back?

For over 34 years, the two of us supported each other, but now she's gone before me, to be alone and heartbroken in that place, and I can't bear it. I'm here, selling lottery tickets at the market every day, meeting different people, which is a comfort in my old age.

The room where I shared with my sister now feels like home to me because it holds so many memories of us. Going to the nursing home in this new place makes me feel sad and I miss my sister so much, so I can't bring myself to go.

Because of her sister's debt and fear of confinement, Trang Thanh Xuan chose not to enter a nursing home, even though her life outside was not very comfortable or affluent.

- What brings you joy in life now?

Honestly, I don't know what my joy is anymore. Perhaps my joy is waking up in the morning and still having the energy to collect 50 lottery tickets to sell, or someone giving me a box of rice or a packet of biscuits to eat for a meal. Sometimes I feel very discouraged, but what can I do? I can't blame anyone or fate.

Everyone has desires, but I know everything seems so far out of reach for me. People often ask me what my ultimate wish is. Now, I just wish to be free from debt, to not have to worry about food every day or medicine when I'm sick...

Artist Trang Thanh Xuan, whose real name is Dao Thi Thanh Xuan, was born into a poor family of artists.
From a young age, Trang Thanh Xuan was passionate about Cai Luong (Vietnamese traditional opera), and she traveled with her parents with traveling theater troupes throughout Southern Vietnam. Thanks to her inherent talent, by the age of 20 she was already the leading actress in many classic plays.
At the height of her career more than 40 years ago, Trang Thanh Xuan's name was second only to famous artists such as Minh Vuong, Bach Le, Thanh Kim Hue... She also had the opportunity to perform alongside the renowned artist Thanh Sang.
The role most closely associated with Trang Thanh Xuan's name, and the one she is most often mentioned for, is that of Bach Thanh Nga in the play "Blood Stained Temple Courtyard ," performed alongside artists Minh Tam and Vu Linh.
The female artist used to perform with the Hoa The Le Cai Luong (Vietnamese traditional opera) troupe, playing the lead role replacing artist Phuong Mai. Later, she moved to the Thai Duong troupe and then performed with many other troupes.
In the 1970s, Trang Thanh Xuan was a frequent name in the newspapers. She emerged as a phenomenon in the Cai Luong (Vietnamese traditional opera) scene and gained audience attention thanks to her beautiful appearance and expressive singing voice.
Many people admire Trang Thanh Xuan, and every day she receives dozens of letters from fans asking for photos.

Trinh Trang

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