Summer vacation is here. Children are looking forward to fulfilling their dreams. Parents also have summer plans for their children. Sometimes, they do not agree. How to have a satisfying summer for both?
Children's passion, adult's experience
After nine long months of hard work and study, many children are eager for summer to come quickly, so they can realize their personal plans that they have always hoped for.
It could be the desire to go swimming every day, to enjoy the coolness of the summer pool, and to have fun and play to the fullest. It could be the desire to join art classes to dance and sing, to immerse yourself in music , and the endless trends of childhood.
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| To make the summer truly meaningful, adults should experience it with their children. (Photo: Thanh Huyen) |
It could also be the desire to go back to your paternal or maternal hometown, to visit the green areas of your childhood, instead of the boring concrete walls of the city. Or it could be the desire to attend painting classes, to be fascinated by the lines and colors, to draw new, childish perspectives...
However, children's passions do not always coincide with their parents' orientations. This is where summer conflicts arise.
We parents often have the common feeling that we need to build a summer plan for our children, to avoid them going in the wrong direction, not suitable for the development requirements of society.
With life experience, we often assume that we know what children are good at, what they are bad at, what they need and what they should do. Therefore, we often assume that in order to have a good future, children should listen to the guidance of adults, including the issue of how to spend the summer.
On the other hand, children often have needs and expectations that are different from the hopes and plans of adults. During the nine-month school year, children have tried to follow their parents' instructions, and now that summer is here, they feel the need for space and time to satisfy their own desires.
And when common ground cannot be found, conflicts arise one after another.
Summer for the whole family
Modern psychologists and sociologists recommend that we adults connect with children to find consensus, instead of the tendency for adults to impose according to the traditional familyeducation model.
To find common ground, we can consider the following three suggestions:
First, always be willing to listen and try to understand the child's point of view. And vice versa, it is also necessary to explain to the child that he or she also needs to listen and understand the thoughts of adults.
Two-way communication is essential in the process of sharing and discussing. To achieve good results in the process of confiding, adults need to use language appropriate to their children's age, avoiding complex expressions.
Second , we also need an open attitude to reach consensus, accepting other voices, coming from children. If we do not agree, we must convince them with strong arguments, vivid illustrations, instead of imposing a one-sided attitude. We also need to seek a compromise solution, reasonable and logical, instead of leaving the psychological conflicts that may arise to both sides.
Finally, to make the summer truly meaningful, adults should experience it with their children. If adults only make plans and ask children to do it alone, the results will not be as expected.
Summer is not just for kids. Summer is not just for parents. Summer is for everyone in the family. Activities need to and should be shared experiences.
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