Should we lower our standards to find a partner?

5,000 applications to be a lover

Vera Dijkmans (24 years old, Dutch), living in London (UK) said that she was so frustrated with her bad luck in love that she made a call to her 5.5 million followers on social networks, asking if any of them wanted to be her boyfriend.

It is known that she has a good income from her modeling career but has never dated. As a result, Vera Dijkmans has received up to 5,000 applications to be her lover.

Boys interested in Vera must answer a 15-question questionnaire to see if they live up to her high expectations.

Young female model received 5,000 applications from guys to be her boyfriend

Explaining this special selection method, the female model said that she created the questionnaire to find a boyfriend because she had never had a boyfriend. She also received many "promises" from men who showed interest.

Her application form included questions like "Do you live with your parents?", "Have you been out and about lately?", and "Do you own a car?" Despite receiving countless applications, Vera said she is still single.

"I had to sift through quite a few strange responses. One man offered to send me a blood sample and asked me to send mine back, but I ignored him. I also received contact from a celebrity. Most of the applicants were from Texas (USA)," Vera said.

"I received about 5,000 applications. But after looking through most of them, I only found 3 guys who seemed suitable. I tried going on dates with them, but I'm still single at the moment," Vera added.

Of the three potential suitors, one man said he lived with his parents and had no car but two boats. Another promised never to flirt with Vera’s friends. One even boasted of his successful career but refused to buy her a bigger wardrobe.

Vera is still single because she hasn't found the right person yet.

Although the results were not as expected, the hot girl with 5.5 million followers still considers this a successful experiment because she can frankly say what she wants and see which man fits that criteria.

Should we lower our standards for choosing a life partner?

Women are raising their standards for their partners, says family psychologist Dr. Greg Matos. Specifically, many women between the ages of 25 and 45 are looking for partners who meet certain skills and qualities.

While we often hear the advice not to be too picky when it comes to dating, experts say that being selective about who you pair up with is a good thing. Even if it means you'll be single longer.

The List has listed the reasons why we should keep our standards high when looking for a lover.

Show high self-esteem

If you lower your standards, your partner may assume that you have an "anything goes" mentality. As a result, they may overlook unacceptable behavior, such as lying or canceling dates.

A common reason why people lower their dating standards is because of low self-esteem. Deep down, they don't believe they deserve better. So before jumping into a relationship, dating author Greg Behrendt advises everyone to take a good look at themselves and evaluate their good qualities.

Respect your own needs

Standards are also healthy boundaries, values, and principles that are used to help each person avoid people and situations that are out of their control. Setting standards not only helps people find potential partners, but also protects legitimate needs.

So lowering our standards can also mean ignoring our own needs. For example, dating someone who lies frequently can leave us feeling insecure and lacking trust in our partner. In this case, trust, a universal emotional need, is not met.

Don't lower your standards when choosing a life partner.

Emphasize compatibility

“Lower your standards” or “don’t be picky” are common pieces of advice, but they can actually prevent people from finding a suitable partner who shares similar thoughts, goals, and values.

In addition, setting high standards also shows that the individual values ​​compatibility in love. According to Dr. Jacqui Gabb, a professor of sociology, this means that both people think the same way and connect with each other on a deep level. This is a factor that helps the relationship become more attached and can develop in the long term.

High standards equal unrealistic expectations

High standards don't have to be a long list of unrealistic traits, like having the height of a basketball player, dressing like a singer...

These superficial standards do nothing to help develop a healthy relationship. Instead, each person should focus on establishing standards based on their own needs, values, and boundaries, and not lower them for anyone else.

In addition, each individual also needs to respect the other person's personality, accept mistakes and imperfections.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/hot-girl-duoc-5000-chang-trai-xin-ung-tuyen-nhung-van-doc-than-vi-khong-hai-long-co-nen-ha-thap-tieu-chuan-de-de-tim-ban-doi-172240623162931395.htm