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Should we lower our standards to make it easier to find a life partner?

Báo Gia đình và Xã hộiBáo Gia đình và Xã hội23/06/2024


5,000 applications to be a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Vera Dijkmans (24 years old, Dutch), living in London (England), said she was so fed up with her bad luck in love that she appealed to her 5.5 million social media followers, asking if any of them would like to be her boyfriend.

Reportedly, she earns a decent income from modeling but has never dated. As a result, Vera Dijkmans received 5,000 applications from people wanting to be her boyfriend.

Guys interested in Vera have to answer a 15-question questionnaire to see if they can meet her high expectations.

Hot girl được 5000 chàng trai xin ứng tuyển làm người yêu, chỉ chọn ra được 3 người nhưng vẫn độc thân vì không hài lòng: Có nên hạ thấp tiêu chuẩn để dễ tìm bạn đời?- Ảnh 1.

The young female model received 5,000 applications from men wanting to be her boyfriend.

Explaining this unusual selection method, the model said she created the questionnaire to find a boyfriend because she had never been in a relationship. She also received many "promises" from men who showed interest.

Her application included questions like "Do you live with your parents?", "Have you been out socializing lately?", or "Do you own a car?"... Despite receiving countless applications, Vera says she is still single.

"I had to sift through quite a few strange responses. One man offered to send me his blood sample and asked me to send mine back, but I ignored him. I also received contact from a celebrity. Most applicants were from Texas," Vera said.

"I received about 5,000 applications. But after reviewing most of them, I only found three guys who seemed like a good match. I tried going on dates with them, but I'm still single," Vera added.

Accordingly, among the three promising candidates, one man stated that he lived with his parents, owned no car but had two boats. Another promised never to flirt with Vera's friends. One even boasted about his successful career but refused to buy her a bigger wardrobe.

Hot girl được 5000 chàng trai xin ứng tuyển làm người yêu, chỉ chọn ra được 3 người nhưng vẫn độc thân vì không hài lòng: Có nên hạ thấp tiêu chuẩn để dễ tìm bạn đời?- Ảnh 2.

Vera is still single because she hasn't found the right person yet.

Although the results weren't what she expected, the hot girl with 5.5 million followers still considers this a successful experiment because she was able to honestly express what she wanted and see which man fit those criteria.

Should we lower our standards for choosing a life partner?

Dr. Greg Matos, a family psychologist, says women are raising their standards for their partners. Specifically, many women aged 25-45 are looking for partners who possess certain skills and qualities.

Although we often hear advice not to be too picky when dating, experts suggest that being selective about who you date is a good thing, even if it means staying single longer.

The List has compiled a list of reasons why we should maintain our standards when searching for a romantic partner.

Showing high self-esteem

If you lower your standards, your partner might assume you have a "whatever" attitude. As a result, they might overlook behaviors that your partner finds unacceptable, such as lying or canceling dates.

A common reason many people lower their dating standards is low self-esteem. Deep down, they don't believe they deserve better treatment. Therefore, before entering a relationship, Greg Behrendt, a dating author, advises everyone to take a moment to reflect on themselves and assess their positive qualities.

Respect your own needs.

Standards are also healthy boundaries, values, and principles used to help individuals avoid objects and situations beyond their control. Setting standards not only helps people find potential partners, but also protects their legitimate needs.

Therefore, lowering standards also means ignoring personal needs. For example, dating someone who frequently lies will leave you feeling insecure and lacking trust in your partner. In this case, trust, a common emotional need, is not being guaranteed.

Hot girl được 5000 chàng trai xin ứng tuyển làm người yêu, chỉ chọn ra được 3 người nhưng vẫn độc thân vì không hài lòng: Có nên hạ thấp tiêu chuẩn để dễ tìm bạn đời?- Ảnh 3.

You shouldn't lower your standards when choosing a life partner.

Emphasize compatibility

"Lower your standards" or "don't be too picky" are common pieces of advice. However, they are preventing a person from finding a suitable partner who shares their thoughts, goals, and values.

Furthermore, setting high standards also shows that the individual values ​​compatibility in love. According to Dr. Jacqui Gabb, a professor of sociology, this means that both partners share similar thoughts and connect with each other on a deep level. This is a factor that helps strengthen the relationship and allows it to develop long-term.

High standards are different from unrealistic expectations.

High standards aren't a long list of unrealistic traits, like having the height of a basketball player or dressing like a singer...

These superficial standards do not contribute to the development of healthy relationships. Instead, each person should focus on building standards based on their own needs, values, and boundaries, and not lower them for anyone else.

In addition, each individual needs to respect the other person's individuality, accepting their mistakes and imperfections.



Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/hot-girl-duoc-5000-chang-trai-xin-ung-tuyen-nhung-van-doc-than-vi-khong-hai-long-co-nen-ha-thap-tieu-chuan-de-de-tim-ban-doi-172240623162931395.htm

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