One day, I realized I needed to make a firm decision to say no to hair dye because my hair was dry, weak, brittle, and falling out excessively. During the time my hair was graying, whenever I met friends, I would wear a headband or a baseball cap, so no one would notice my gray hair.
Once, while talking to a friend on the phone, I found someone who shared my feelings; she also had gray hair. She said, "I'm doing what our mothers did back then, never dyeing my hair." Then we both fell silent, neither of us remembering when our mothers' hair turned gray.
In our memories, the mothers in the countryside back then were thin, always wearing black trousers and traditional Vietnamese blouses, their hair white, tied into a small bun at the back, with a few strands of black remaining. My mother didn't let her hair grow long; she had it permed since she was young. I remember a few times going with her to the hair salon, sitting and watching the hairdresser style her hair, and they told such wonderful stories!
Every time my mother got her hair done, I saw how happy she was. Later, when I grew up and learned about beauty, I understood this feeling of getting a new hairstyle—a renewed sense of joy and happiness. Years later, my mother stopped perming her hair, only cutting it short for neatness and easier washing. Preoccupied with studying, friends, and work, I never asked my mother when her hair started turning gray, nor did I ever hear her complain about her graying. I think that mothers in the past simply let time take its course on their hair, without worrying or being concerned about gray hair like our generation does now. We have the means to take care of our appearance, wear nice clothes, go to work, socialize, go out, and take pictures to show off on Facebook, so almost none of us didn't dye our hair.
2. One day, I was looking through old photos to see when my mother's hair had turned gray, because when I was taking pictures of her, I hadn't noticed it at all.
On my wedding day, at age 50, my mother's hair was still black, flowing down to her shoulders, making her look very young. After my father passed away, her hair gradually turned gray, and then there are photos of her at age 60 with streaks of gray like mine now, but she smiles naturally, youthfully, without any worry about her gray hair. At age 70, her hair was even more gray. After age 80, her hair was completely white, smooth, and very beautiful.
Thinking far ahead, how many of us have lost so much hair due to worry? For most mothers, what else is there in life besides worrying about their husbands and children with silent sacrifices? They anxiously follow their husbands' work, navigating the rough seas, always providing a strong support system for those facing the elements; sometimes, they worry so much that they wake up one morning to find more gray hair. That hair, like clouds in the sky, represents a life of dedication to family, raising children with boundless love.
Mothers of the past knew how to accept time, to live with age, the ailments that gradually appeared with old age, and their hair as a witness, acknowledging a life lived, experienced, and knowing how to let go to live in peace. My mother's photos speak volumes about this, and it wasn't until I decided to let my hair turn gray that I truly understood!
KIM DUY
Source: https://baokhanhhoa.vn/van-hoa/202603/toc-ma-bac-tu-luc-nao-3b466bb/
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