Lessons from wedding rings

Sometimes I wish my husband and I had discussed the meaning of our rings before our wedding. We might have saved some money. We only bought the rings we could afford, but the price was still significant to us at the time.

Nearly three decades ago, on a cool September morning in my hometown, my friends and family formed a circle. As the music played, they walked around a woven bark basket containing two rings, one for him and one for me.

At that time, my husband and I’s wedding caused a stir in the whole village because of the unique way of organizing it. I was very happy to see all the people I loved standing closest to me to bless our love. That moment was truly sacred.

I remember a lot of details about the wedding but later, I racked my brain and couldn't remember when I put the ring on his finger.

One evening, my husband turned the ring around on his finger, his tone half-joking, half-serious:

- Maybe we should have a family meeting to consider this, honey!

Initially, he wore the ring all through the honeymoon, but once he returned to work, the ring became less important. Although we had consciously chosen the simplest and lightest ring possible, it still felt bulky and uncomfortable while working. In fact, we never discussed the decision of when to wear the ring and when not to wear it, it was just a practical choice.

I noticed that he took the ring off to go to work and rarely wore it again. The first few months after the wedding, the ring only appeared on the evenings when we went out and met friends. But soon, he forgot to wear the ring, I forgot too so I can't blame him.

Now, I can't remember the last time he wore the ring and it doesn't even bother me anymore. Turns out, wearing a ring is a tradition that doesn't suit him, and I'm okay with that.

Our love and marriage need no formality, what we have built together speaks for itself.

Actually, my parents don't wear their wedding rings anymore. My dad lost his wedding ring after taking it off to chop wood.

After all these years, my parents are still happily married. Sometimes I wish my husband and I had discussed the meaning of the rings before our wedding.

If so, we probably could have saved a little money. We only bought the rings that were affordable but the price was still significant to us at the time.

“It’s not always good to wear rings, ma’am,” a jeweler blurted out to me. He explained that wearing rings all the time is bad for your skin and advised me to take them off more often.

His words made me feel so happy. There were times when my body changed after having two children and I couldn’t fit rings in.

My husband and I have had our rings resized twice, which cost a lot of money, and then without anyone telling us, we put our “treasure” away in the closet. At times like that, my husband and I just look at each other and smile.

My daughter is getting married in a few months. The story about the ring made it easy for me to make the decision: let the kids make their own play.

Over the decades, my husband and I have been able to go beyond what society expects of us in terms of weddings, wedding rings, and what really works for us.

From the wedding ring, we move on to other important things in a marriage relationship. Like sleeping in separate beds sometimes for comfort or traveling alone...

I think it would be great for my children’s weddings if those discoveries came sooner without them having to pay the price of education. But I don’t feel sorry for myself, because some lessons can only come with time.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/bai-hoc-tu-cap-nhan-cuoi-17224120722003971.htm