The Khmer woman's sbay scarf

The groom holds the bride's hand on their wedding day.

So what is sbay? What does it mean in Khmer customs? According to the Khmer-Vietnamese Dictionary, it means: "Sbay - a scarf draped diagonally; - pulling the sbay into the bridal chamber" (ibid. - Ministry of Education and Training - Tra Vinh University - National Political Publishing House - 2020). Based on the dictionary's explanation, we can understand sbay as a type of scarf draped diagonally by women.

For the Khmer people, even if the family is poor and struggling, they must prepare the most beautiful traditional attire for the bride on her wedding day. This is not only a source of pride for the family but also contributes to preserving the cultural identity of the Khmer people.

On her wedding day, a Khmer bride will wear a dark purple or lotus pink sampot hol, along with a short, tight-fitting blouse, sometimes a long red silk blouse, a white scarf around her waist, and a Kpal Plop hat in the shape of a multi-tiered, pointed pyramid decorated with colorful beads and embroidered flowers, resembling a small, pretty crown like those worn by princesses of the past.

Furthermore, on her wedding day, the bride cannot do without a sbay scarf, wrapped diagonally from her shoulder down her right side. The sbay scarf is made of yellow knitted fabric and adorned with thousands of sparkling sequins creating diverse patterns, making it very beautiful and elegant. It can be said that the sbay scarf not only enhances the gentle and feminine beauty of the bride but is also connected to the traditional culture and history of the Khmer people.

To explain the significance of the sbay scarf, the Khmer people have a legend about Prince Preah Thong and Nieng Neak as follows: “Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Kok Tho Lok, there was a prince named Preah Thong who was very handsome, intelligent, and charming.

In particular, this prince was very skilled in swordsmanship and archery, and enjoyed hunting and wandering around his country. Meanwhile, on a beautiful beach with calm, picturesque waters, Princess Neang Neak, the beloved daughter of the Sea King, often went there to play with her maidservants.

One day, she happened to meet Preah Thong while he was traveling. They fell in love at first sight; Preah Thong asked to marry her. Although she loved him dearly, Neang Neak requested that he descend to the dragon palace to meet her father, the king.

Initially, Preah Thong was hesitant, saying, "I am a mortal, how can I descend to the dragon palace?" Neang Neak resolutely replied, "Please listen to me, don't worry, I will find a way to take you down to the dragon palace!" Having said that, she offered Preah Thong her robe to grasp, then used her magic to part the waters and send him down into the deep sea.

Upon meeting her father, the king, she said: "Preah Thong and I love each other because it is a divine arrangement; we fell in love the moment we met. Please, father, grant our consent." The king of the sea, seeing Preah Thong's affection, readily agreed. He held a feast and performed a ceremony of tying threads around the young couple's wrists to wish them a lifetime of happiness.

A month passed, and Preah Thong asked the sea king for permission to bring his wife back to his beloved country of Kok Tholok. There, the court held another feast and performed the ritual of tying threads around the hands to celebrate the couple's union. At this time, Preah Thong's father, the king, announced that he would abdicate the throne to Preah Thong. Afterwards, the two lived together very happily" ("Traditional Festivals of the Southern Khmer People", Tien Van Trieu - Lam Quang Vinh, Social Sciences Publishing House - 2015).

The sash worn by Neang Neak mentioned above is the sbay scarf, which the Khmer people today symbolize, representing the tail of the snake princess. In Khmer weddings, after paying respects to the Sun God, the bride and groom often enter the house to perform the ritual of tying threads around their wrists, certifying that the couple has become husband and wife.

After the thread-tying ceremony, the groom officially enters the bridal chamber (the private room of the newlywed couple) with the bride. The bride is considered the embodiment of Neang Neak, walking ahead, while the groom, the embodiment of Preah Thong, follows behind, holding the tail of the bride's sbay. This ritual is called by the Khmer people Preah Thong tong sbay Neang Neak (Prince Pheah Thong holding the sbay Neang Neak).

Beyond the rituals and performance style based on the legends of Preah Thong and Neang Neak, it also stems from the concept of the ancient matriarchal system, where women were the heads of the household and always took the lead in all matters. Today, it is practiced in most traditional Khmer wedding ceremonies in Southern Vietnam in general and Tay Ninh in particular.

In addition to the issues discussed above, the sbay scarf in Khmer marriage ceremonies also carries many philosophical elements of family life. The sbay scarf is a strong bond connecting husband and wife; the husband must listen to his wife and love her truly, because men are extroverted, women are introverted, and whether the home is warm or not largely depends on the woman. Only then can family happiness last.

Today, Khmer clothing has changed to some extent according to modern trends, but traditional attire is always preserved. The sbay scarf, having survived thousands of years of history, still retains its beauty, honoring feminine grace and contributing to the preservation of Khmer national identity.

Dao Thai Son

Source: https://baotayninh.vn/chiec-khan-sbay-cua-nguoi-phu-nu-khmer-a163422.html