Virtual Love - Tay Ninh Online Newspaper

The night was filled with dreams. The dreams were as chaotic as a lantern, circling around the curtain of sleep, filled with the scent of perfume. All the scenes of love and affection when we met. He had just escaped the harsh winter of the North, with his heavy, shabby clothes and chapped lips from the cold wind. The short-sleeved shirt I had bought him in the summer was tight on his broad chest. He stretched, breathing in the fresh air of the southern orchards, then opened his arms wide, embracing me.

Thanks honey!

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a date, since my ex-husband packed his bags and went back to his parents’ house. My heart, like a tree that was not cared for or watered, became dry and withered, but now it’s surprisingly lush. My ex-husband couldn’t stand the sight of his wife wearing flowing ao dai, bright makeup, and riding a scooter to school all day.

He imagined the admiring eyes of his male colleagues on my body, which was very slim. There was a time when I was forbidden to ride a motorbike to school. I got mad and rode a bicycle. The vice principal saw this and took pity on me, but after two days my husband found out and blocked the road with a knife, threatening to slash me, so I went back to riding a bicycle.

My husband works as a real estate broker and earns a lot of money, but he drinks and eats like a local god. When he gets drunk, he comes home and starts beating his wife and children, to the point that my daughter, at the age of eight, knew how to run into a corner of the house to hide from her father when she saw him come home from drinking. After the divorce, I felt relieved, but only for a few months. What followed were days of uncertainty and resentment. My daughter was also sad:

- Where are you drinking, Dad? Why don't you come home? You can curse a little when you get home!

I was upset and yelled at my son to focus on studying and stop gossiping. He sat down at his desk and said back:

- Damn!

My husband is gone, I am allergic to men, although many nights I still toss and turn longing for love. Many men try to come to me, including the vice principal. I don't want anyone. Just talk about brotherly love, when they start to flirt, I avoid them. Since the advent of social networks, I have started playing Facebook and Zalo, so I have many friends, more than enough to confide in and relieve stress. Virtual love is no exception. Virtual love makes people yearn and miss, wait anxiously, which is strange. He is one of the online love partners and I chose him. To be honest, that Northern guy is nothing special. I just admire the kind, honest face he shows on his profile picture, and I am a little curious because of the few lines introducing himself. "I am a miner. Born in the mines". I am a Literature teacher, so I forgive myself for being bad at Geography. Later, when we got to know each other, I teased him with a poem:

"A miner is a miner.

Gold mine, silver mine or love mine?

- He is a coal miner, not a "gold digger" for women like you think!

Oh my god! The photo is so sweet. It can even read my thoughts. Once he took a photo at the end of a working day and sent it to me. A man with a face covered in coal dust, wearing a safety helmet with a light shining on his forehead. That photo haunted me deeply because of his dazzling white smile amidst the blackness of the coal dust. He confided that his family had been involved in the coal mine for three generations. His two daughters were grown. One was in 12th grade, the other was in 10th grade. His wife had been with a driver in the mine for three years. In terms of economics , the driver was not necessarily better than him, but he was better than him because he had a son with his ex-wife. And in bed, he definitely beat him. I burst out laughing when he said that. One time, I was so excited that I made a video call when he had just finished showering. The towel was still draped over his shoulders, hiding his muscular chest. I looked at him half-naked and saw a strong male body.

- His father is also very handsome!

I giggled at him. The towel accidentally fell off as he reached for his hairbrush. I felt hot all over when I saw him shirtless.

- It will still work fine in twenty years! Please help me find one!

- Yeah! Let's wait and see if there's a decent woman I can matchmake!

The next time I called him, it was late at night, when I was getting ready for bed. I deliberately wore a pale pink, low-cut shirt. If I pretended to bend down a little, my still firm breasts would be visible. He opened his eyes wide and exclaimed:

- You are so beautiful!

We didn't have much time. He worked at the mine from morning to afternoon. I also had to go to class, and then prepare lesson plans for the next day in the evening. So if we wanted to meet, we had to do it from ten o'clock at night onwards. He was probably like me, eagerly waiting for the appointment every night. Infatuated like when I was young. I changed my appearance without realizing it. One morning, a girl stood there, looking at me:

- Did you get your hair done?

- No! Just comb it!

- This hairstyle is beautiful, it makes you look several years younger.

In class, the older students exclaimed:

- My aunt is so young and beautiful now!

I know that miracle is due to love, due to him. I want to rebel, want to live with my true heart, not cover it up with the pedagogical words and gestures of a teacher. Thinking so is difficult. Social networks are virtual but real, real but virtual. The geographical distance of thousands of miles makes people only know how to dream, to torment. That night, my daughter asked to sleep with her mother. This little girl is strange. She is about to become a teacher and still wants to sleep with me. She pulled my hair, meticulously parting each line.

- Your hair has some silver strands!

- Do you think your mother is young? She is forty-two!

He chuckled, rubbing my slim belly.

- You're still hot! Get married! But don't marry that coal miner! He always looks dirty.

I feel sorry for him.

- What about coal miners? And how... do you know about that?

- Hi hi! I peeked into your computer. Sorry!

- It doesn't matter what a person does, as long as he is decent.

- But he... isn't suitable for you! A teacher married a coal miner. Hehe! Maybe you just love online for fun?

I am annoyed.

- Your father is a real estate broker, always shiny, full of money, my female colleagues are jealous. But is he a good person?

The little girl was sad, silent, and then fell asleep.

I texted him that April 30 and International Labor Day fall on Saturday and Sunday, so I have four days off, so please try to come and visit. I want to see him, I really want to. Because I don't consider my love for him a virtual game, I want to have him in flesh and blood, I want to experience love with a man who works with muscles but has an intelligent and sharp mind. A miner who stays up all night talking about literature with a literature teacher. He commented on Nguyen Hong's Bi Vo, Vo Huy Tam's Vung Mo to Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea; Marquez's Tram Nam Sol. Once, he commented on a female character in a Russian novel:

- I don't like Lev Tolstoy's story of Anna Karenina jumping in front of a train to commit suicide. No matter how tragic life is, there is always a way out.

I tossed and turned until morning, thinking about the unfair way I had treated men since I left my husband. I had eliminated my prejudice of living without a man, by expressing my intimate feelings, and then gradually fell in love with him without realizing it.

So we had an appointment on a sunny day at the end of April. “Let’s finalize the plan. Anyone who changes their mind will be scolded!” He said he would go to Tay Ninh , visit his uncle in Tan Chau, then borrow a motorbike to go to the meeting place.

I agree. Of course, there is one more important thing, quite delicate. When we meet, depending on the situation, I will suggest to you. Sitting in a coffee shop for a long time, I will pretend to be tired, want to be quiet to talk, want to go to a nearby motel. I only dare to imagine that, then turn to choose clothes. Which outfit will be suitable for the first meeting? Wearing a dress will be very attractive, because I have long and beautiful legs. Oh no! How strange! What kind of teacher dresses flirtatiously. So wearing a dress, covering up the high walls? I have a black dress that suits my pale skin very well. Oh no! It looks like a black crow. Oh! I will wear a three-piece dress. A three-piece dress also flatters my figure a lot, and maybe you will like it too. I decided to choose a lotus-colored three-piece dress. The coal miner will definitely be fascinated. I am confident in my beauty.

I anxiously waited for the appointment day, ready to accept everything. I had prepared a plan, which was to advise him to quit his job as a miner and come live with me. With my relatively wide social connections, I could find him a suitable job, such as a security guard at a school or some agency with a living wage. I envisioned a new, small, lovely home. Every morning, I would personally make him a pot of tea, cook him a bowl of heart and kidney porridge or beef noodle soup. At the end of the lesson, it was pouring rain and I had forgotten to bring a raincoat. He hurriedly drove out to pick his wife up, the large umbrella struggling against the wind.

- Stay home and take care of yourself, girl! Mom left the money in the cupboard, buy whatever you want to eat. When you go out with your friends, remember to drive slowly and wear a helmet. Aunt Tam will come over to sleep with you tonight. Mom has some business to attend to in the city.

I told my daughter all sorts of things, but I forgot that she was already twenty years old and would be a good housewife if she got married early. She didn't seem upset at all, but instead smiled and put her arm around my shoulder:

- Don't worry, mama! Have fun, mom! Long live freedom!

Last night I waited and waited for you to call. I couldn't wait, so I called you but only heard tired beeps. I texted:

- Where are you?

The message and the question mark remained silent until the next morning. There were only two days left until he flew to me. The plane ticket was booked, and he even took a picture of the Vietjet flight ticket and sent it to me. There was no reason for him to cancel the appointment. At noon, taking advantage of my break, I turned on my computer and called him again. Oh my god! What's going on? I took off my glasses and wiped them, looking closely at the screen. Why was his profile picture black? I rushed to my computer, opened Facebook to see clearly. That's right. Something bad happened to his family. That mournful black profile picture clearly reported it. Who? His mother? Or his daughter? Or him? I called him directly, but it was just an indifferent message "The subscriber you have called is currently unavailable...".

The noisy last days of April passed quickly. It seemed like I had forgotten him, as if he had never existed in my life, through a love affair. Even if it was just a virtual love.

PPQ

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