Respect personal space...

In married life, what most couples desire is for their partner to understand and respect each other's personal preferences and privacy. Depending on their personality and work, each person has their own "personal space" and does not want to be controlled or invaded. To enhance happiness, those involved must behave skillfully, understand, and share with their spouse, balancing freedom with responsibility to the family.

Everyone has their own preferences and privacy. Living together, spouses need to respect and find a balance between individual needs and shared responsibilities to strengthen their relationship (image for illustrative purposes only).

Before moving in together, Ms. Ngoc and Mr. Hung, residing in Binh Thuy District, agreed that, besides shared interests, each party would have the right to maintain their own privacy and comfort, as long as they didn't cross any boundaries. Ms. Ngoc enjoys traveling , while Mr. Hung has been close to his childhood group of friends, often visiting and supporting each other with work, finances, and family matters. With a higher income, Mr. Hung allows his wife to freely save money for travel; he takes care of living expenses and the children's education. Each year, Ms. Ngoc usually goes on 2-3 backpacking trips. At home, she has a corner dedicated to displaying photos, gifts, and souvenirs from her travels. For Ms. Ngoc, this is a relaxing space after the stresses of daily life, and her husband and children understand this, so they don't disturb her. She also participates in several groups with similar interests to socialize and share experiences.

Regarding her husband, Ms. Ngoc understands that friends are an indispensable part of life, so she doesn't interfere in his personal relationships. Whenever there's negative public opinion, like the "beware of fire near straw" mentality when acquaintances see Mr. Hung being too close to female friends in his group, Ms. Ngoc frankly discusses it, showing trust while also helping her husband adjust his behavior accordingly. Mr. Hung expressed: "I think that in a marriage, besides shared responsibilities, each person also needs their own 'private space' to relieve stress and recharge, otherwise it will be suffocating. The issue is how we behave, in the spirit of nurturing our relationship, being honest, and not making the other person feel like an outsider. My wife and I often confide in each other, so there are no misunderstandings or worries."

Ms. Kim Cúc, residing in Cái Răng district, has a habit of drinking coffee on her balcony every morning while contemplating and planning her day's tasks. Because she loves this beverage, Ms. Cúc collects various types of fine coffee, coffee makers, and beautiful sets of cups. Understanding her preferences, her husband, Mr. Thành, bought several potted plants to decorate the area where his wife drinks her coffee, making it more romantic. Mr. Thành is very fond of technology and enjoys fishing. On weekends, he often invites friends to his hometown to fish, cook, and relax; Ms. Cúc, on the other hand, goes to the movies, listens to music, and shops…

Ms. Cúc and her husband treat each other with sensitivity and respect for each other's joys and feelings. Mr. Thành has many social media accounts, but Ms. Cúc rarely follows their activities; they only occasionally send each other links to websites and knowledge related to their interests. Sometimes, seeing Mr. Thành spending too much money on new phones and gadgets, Ms. Cúc subtly reminds him to save money for other, more necessary things. With his wife's reasonable suggestions, Mr. Thành agrees and considers them carefully before acting, so the atmosphere at home is always cheerful. Ms. Cúc shared: “Husband and wife don't necessarily have to be inseparable or sacrifice personal interests to please each other. I rarely ask my husband where he goes, who he's with, what he does, or what his income is… No matter how private his life is, he doesn't forget his shared responsibilities, working with me to build a family, living a good life and setting a good example for our children, so I feel very secure.”

Mr. Dung, residing in Ninh Kieu district, recounted an incident a few years ago that nearly caused his marriage to fall apart. Mr. Dung is a businessman who frequently travels to other provinces. His wife has a controlling nature, often secretly searching through his personal belongings such as his wallet, phone, computer, and correspondence. She frequently interrogates him, and if he doesn't tell her, she'll find someone else to ask, sometimes escalating the situation. Due to work requirements, Mr. Dung has multiple social media accounts to connect with friends, expand his business, and advertise his products. Sometimes, when he's tired or upset, he posts pictures expressing his unhappy mood. His wife monitors his posts, and whenever she sees something she doesn't like on his Facebook or Zalo accounts, she nags him. She even interferes in his friendships and insists on accompanying him to parties and business meetings. Even his hobby of collecting watches is considered wasteful by his wife, who constantly criticizes him, despite his role as the family's breadwinner. Unable to bear his wife's strict supervision any longer, Mr. Dung offered his opinion and firmly stated that if she didn't change her behavior, he would move out. Fortunately, Mr. Dung's wife understood the issue in time and gradually adjusted her behavior...

In life, everyone needs their own space, their own quiet haven, as a refuge for the soul after the worries and hardships of everyday life. This includes not only healthy hobbies and interests, personal desires and ideas, but also friendships, colleagues, and cherished memories. Whether private or shared, the most important thing is the warmth of family, so spouses need to understand, respect, and share with each other to fulfill their legitimate desires and aspirations, harmonizing personal and shared interests to build lasting happiness.

Text and photos: KIEU CHINH

Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/ton-trong-khoang-troi-rieng--a185819.html