Everyone has their own interests and privacy. Living together, husband and wife need to respect and balance between personal interests and shared responsibilities to strengthen their relationship (illustrative photo).
Before moving in together, Ms. Ngoc and Mr. Hung in Binh Thuy district agreed that, in addition to the common things, each side has the right to keep their own private things comfortable, as long as they do not go beyond the limit. Ms. Ngoc has a hobby of traveling , Mr. Hung is close to a group of friends from elementary school, often going back and forth, supporting each other in work, finance, and family matters. With a higher income, Mr. Hung lets his wife freely save money to go out; he takes care of the living expenses and education of the children. Every year, Ms. Ngoc often goes on 2-3 "backpacking" trips. In the house, Ms. Ngoc makes a corner to display pictures, gifts, and souvenirs at the destinations. For Ms. Ngoc, this is a place to relax after daily pressures, her husband and children know so no one bothers her. She also joins some groups with the same interests to exchange and share experiences.
As for her husband, Ms. Ngoc understands that friends are an indispensable part of life, so she does not interfere in his personal relationships. Whenever there is bad public opinion, like "be careful of fire near straw" when acquaintances see Mr. Hung being too close to female friends in the group, Ms. Ngoc frankly discusses, both showing trust and letting her husband adjust his behavior to be more appropriate. Mr. Hung expressed: "I think that husband and wife, besides the common responsibility, each person also needs to have their own "private space" to relieve stress and recharge, otherwise it will be suffocating. The problem is how to behave, in the spirit of nurturing feelings, honesty, do not let the other person feel like an outsider. My husband and I often confide in each other, so there are no knots or sadness."
Ms. Kim Cuc in Cai Rang district has a habit of drinking coffee every morning on the balcony, thinking about the work of the day... Loving this drink, Ms. Cuc collects delicious coffees, coffee makers, and beautiful cups. Understanding, Mr. Thanh - Ms. Cuc's husband, bought some more flower pots to decorate the place where his wife drinks coffee to make it more romantic. Mr. Thanh is very fond of technological devices and gadgets and enjoys fishing. On weekends, he often invites friends to go fishing in his hometown, then cooks and drinks; Ms. Cuc goes to the movies, listens to music, goes shopping...
Cuc and her husband treat each other tactfully, respecting each other's joy and feelings. Thanh has many social media accounts, but Cuc rarely follows their activities. They only occasionally send each other links to pages and knowledge related to their favorite fields. Sometimes, when she sees Thanh spending too much money on phones and new machines, Cuc gently reminds him to save money for other more necessary things. With his wife's reasonable suggestions, Thanh agrees and considers when implementing them, so the atmosphere in the house is always happy. Cuc shares: "Husband and wife do not necessarily have to be inseparable or accept sacrificing personal interests to please each other. I rarely ask my husband where he goes, with whom, what he does, how much he earns... No matter how private he is, he does not forget the common task of building a family with me, living a good life and setting an example for the children, so I am very assured."
Mr. Dung in Ninh Kieu district recounted an incident a few years ago that nearly broke up his marriage. Mr. Dung was in business and often went to the provinces. His wife had a controlling nature, so she often secretly rummaged through her husband's personal belongings such as wallets, phones, computers, letters, etc. and often questioned him. If he did not speak, she would find someone to ask, which sometimes led to things going too far. Due to work requirements, Mr. Dung had many social media accounts to make friends, expand his business, advertise products, etc. Sometimes when he was tired and upset, he posted photos and was in a bad mood. Following him, whenever she saw something unpleasant on her husband's Facebook or Zalo, she would nag. She even interfered in his friendships and often asked to follow him to parties and receptions. Even with his hobby of collecting watches, Mr. Dung was considered wasteful by his wife, who gossiped about him, even though he always fulfilled his role as the economic pillar. Unable to bear the strict supervision of his wife, Mr. Dung gave his opinion and was determined that if his wife did not change, he would live separately. Fortunately, Mr. Dung's wife promptly understood the problem and gradually adjusted her behavior...
In life, everyone needs their own space and quiet as a refuge for the soul after the worries and hardships of everyday life. It is not only about healthy pleasures and hobbies, personal desires and ideas, but also about the affection of friends, colleagues, and memories... Whether private or shared, the most important thing is still the warmth of the family, so husband and wife need to understand, respect, and share, to satisfy the legitimate thoughts and wishes of their spouses, harmonize the private and the public, and build long-term happiness.
Article and photos: KIEU CHINH
Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/ton-trong-khoang-troi-rieng--a185819.html
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