Eating with the phone

To be honest, I don't really like my phone. But lately I've realized that during lunchtimes when I'm home alone, I've been eating my meals with it.

Eating meals with your phone

Illustration: TA'S

Back when I was a student, I used to eat lunch alone. Now, my husband works until late at night, so I'm alone for lunch. Unlike before, when I ate in silence or just quickly to get it over with, now I sit looking at my phone and prolonging the meal with entertainment programs and my favorite movies. It turns out, without realizing it, I've been eating lunch with my phone. Before, eating alone was a kind of loneliness that was hard to describe. Now, eating with my phone doesn't make me feel any less lonely either.

I've always enjoyed meals with a large, lively gathering. My mother always says that when my husband and I eat together, my parents eat more because of the atmosphere. Obviously, the more people in the house, the more people eat, but sometimes, it's the "atmosphere" that makes the food taste better—the connection and joy. Try a meal where the husband and wife are angry with each other, and the parents and children are sulking; would you still enjoy your meal then?

There's an old saying, "Even the heavens avoid striking during a meal," implying that one should avoid scolding or reprimanding each other while eating. Perhaps the deeper meaning is that during a meal, focusing on eating is paramount; everything else can wait. This means focusing on the flavor of the food, concentrating on chewing and savoring, and focusing on the family's togetherness. Furthermore, one should pay attention to who cooked the meal, how hard they worked, and how grateful they should be... Nowadays, the inconsiderate presence of mobile phones on the dining table, parents checking emails to monitor work, children engrossed in entertainment programs, and no one pays attention to how the meal ends.

You used to nag about your phone, saying that if it hadn't appeared during meals, you and your husband wouldn't have divorced. At the end of the day, everyone hopes for a pleasant family meal. Husband and wife ask each other about their day at work, chat about everything under the sun, compliment each other on delicious dishes, or reminisce about what they've eaten before... But your husband, during meals, puts his phone on the table to watch some program. You ask him about it, and he just mumbles a few words and stops. After eating, he continues to hold his phone in the bathroom, and even at bedtime, he's still glued to it until his eyes droop. Many nights, your husband falls asleep with his phone still blaring from the programs he's been watching.

This is a common situation in many families today. We blame smartphones with their numerous entertainment apps for consuming everyone's time and attention, leading to a lack of sharing and empathy. The harmful effects of using phones during meals are well-known. Both physical and mental health can be damaged, yet it's difficult to change. Sadly, not only adults, but many children today also eat meals with their phones. Except for patient mothers who raise their children scientifically , having them sit at the table, guiding them, and clearly showing them what to eat, many other parents often entice their children to eat while using some technological device. Children chew and swallow unconsciously, their eyes glued to the captivating entertainment program or clip on the iPad or phone. Watching such things is addictive; if adults are addicted, then children certainly are. As a result, it's become a habit; without a phone at mealtime, children will hardly eat.

Not only during family meals, but also at dinners with friends, colleagues, and business partners, the phone occupies space and time. From taking photos to scrolling, from Facebook to TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and then following the latest hot and sensational news... the stories on the phone are more captivating than the stories of the person opposite. I've also noticed many people who are good at texting but lazy about initiating conversations; they interact frequently on social media but are hesitant to communicate in real life. They don't greet each other when meeting in person, but online, behind their phones, they are surprisingly friendly.

Imagine eating a meal alone or with someone else, glued to your phone, following those frivolous conversations online. It feels so lonely and isolated. Sometimes I get incredibly angry at the phone; something that's supposed to connect people sometimes actually drives them apart. The phone's presence during meals seems to make us forget the taste of the food, and even the voice and gaze of our loved ones...

Dieu Ai

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