Going far away doesn't necessarily mean becoming mature.
Many young people are sent abroad to study by their parents, living in comfortable conditions, but after a few years they return with very different experiences.
Some students know how to find accommodation on their own, manage their finances in a new environment, and balance their food, housing, and tuition fees. They understand that behind every penny sent over is the hard work and frugality of their parents. Because they understand the importance of saving money, they learn to be thrifty, solve problems independently, and grow stronger from small setbacks.
But there are also those who, despite living thousands of kilometers away from their families, have almost everything taken care of by their parents. From choosing schools and renting accommodation to supplementing funds whenever expenses exceed their budget, everything is arranged. When problems arise, their first reaction is to call home. In that case, studying abroad might just be a geographical relocation, but the mindset of dependence remains unchanged.
Traveling far doesn't necessarily mean maturity. A young person only truly grows up when they learn to manage their time, money, and emotions; when they learn to accept failure and take responsibility for their decisions.
Having good material conditions is not a fault. Being from a wealthy family doesn't necessarily mean children lack character. The difference lies in how parents provide for their children. An expensive car might help young people get around faster, but it doesn't help them know where they need to go. Parental possessions don't automatically translate into intelligence, ability, or depth of character.
Therefore, the value of a young person should not be measured by the car they drive, the school they attended, or the amount of money they receive. What is more valuable is whether they know how to work, value money, solve problems independently, and dare to take responsibility for the path they choose.
When parents pave the way for their children...
It's not uncommon for young people, after graduating, to return to work in their family businesses, being given positions and paid by their parents. This choice itself is not inherently wrong. Continuing the family business can be a serious career path. The crucial question is whether these young people enter the profession based on their abilities or simply on family connections.
Many parents believe that because they have worked hard their whole lives, their children don't need to suffer anymore. This mindset stems from love, but sometimes it unintentionally deprives children of the opportunity to grow. When all obstacles are laid out for them, children don't learn how to maintain balance. When every mistake is corrected for them, children struggle to understand that every decision has a price.
Family businesses can still be a good training ground if the children start in a suitable position with specific responsibilities, are evaluated based on results, and adhere to the same discipline as other employees. The crucial question isn't whether they work for their parents' company, but rather: Without the family name and patronage, what else can they rely on to stand on their own two feet?
The story of parents paving the way for their children is also clearly evident in the choice of major and university. After each high school graduation exam, many families enter a race to register their preferences, but both parents and children sometimes still don't fully understand the student's abilities, strengths, and true aspirations.
Many students choose their majors based on what their friends are doing, chasing after fields considered "hot," or only aiming for prestigious universities. Parents sometimes set overly high expectations, wanting their children to attend a school that sounds impressive, without properly assessing their children's academic abilities, aptitudes, and suitability for the field.
It is precisely these unrealistic choices that cause many students to fail right from the admissions season. Some students concentrate most of their applications on highly competitive schools, failing to develop a plan that matches their scores, and ultimately not getting accepted. Others achieve good results but register their preferences without careful consideration, missing the opportunity to enter a field of study that is more suitable to their abilities.
Unfortunately, some students enter university only to realize after one or two years that their chosen field of study doesn't suit their strengths, personality, and abilities. The workload becomes overwhelming, grades decline, leading to discouragement, dropping out, retaking exams, or switching majors. At that point, not only is time and money wasted, but young people also easily lose faith in themselves.
Such failures aren't necessarily due to a lack of ability, but often stem from a wrong choice from the start. A student with aptitude for languages, arts, or social sciences might struggle to thrive if steered toward an engineering field simply because it's considered easy to find a job. Conversely, a student with strong logical thinking and practical skills might also be confused if they choose a field solely based on their family's wishes.
Choosing the right option doesn't mean choosing a low-level option, but rather making a well-founded choice that aligns with the learner's abilities, strengths, and long-term development potential.
Empowering children to choose, teaching them to take responsibility.
Before enrolling in a field of study, young people need to understand what they enjoy, where their strengths lie, what kind of work environment suits their personality, and what the profession actually demands. These questions cannot be answered simply by exam scores or a list of universities with high admission standards.
Parents have life experience and should offer advice, but they shouldn't make decisions for their children. Instead of just asking, "Which school is prestigious?", work with your child to understand: Do they truly want to pursue this career? Are their abilities suitable? Are they prepared for the challenges of the profession and willing to take responsibility for their choice?
Respecting a child's choices doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want. The right to choose must come with responsibility. When given the freedom to make their own decisions, young people need to understand that they must proactively research, seriously pursue their goals, and not give up impulsively, leaving the family to continue paying the price.
Life skills can't only be developed at the age of 18. They are formed through very ordinary things: preparing your own belongings, doing housework, managing money, completing assigned tasks, and knowing how to admit mistakes when you make them.
When children are young, parents can guide them. As they get older, parents need to gradually empower them with choices, giving them the opportunity to solve problems independently and accept the appropriate consequences. Spending all their allowance too early or failing to complete a task on time can sometimes teach a much more profound lesson than any lecture.
Parents need to distinguish between support and doing things for their children, between giving opportunities and granting privileges, between accompanying them and controlling them. Support means providing children with good learning conditions but requiring them to be serious. Giving opportunities means opening a door but allowing them to prove their abilities. Accompanying them means listening, analyzing, and warning them of risks, but still respecting their children's right to make decisions.
A young person's worth should not be measured by what their parents have given them. Their true value lies in their ability to work, their attitude towards money, their interactions with others, and their resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Parents cannot accompany their children to every interview, resolve every conflict, or make every decision. Therefore, the most lasting asset to leave to their children is not a pre-arranged position or a smooth path, but knowledge, character, work ethic, and the strength to walk on their own two feet.
Raising a child is not just about helping them get a degree, a career, and a comfortable life. More importantly, it's about nurturing a person who knows who they are, appreciates the efforts of others, dares to make choices, and has the courage to take responsibility for those choices.
Source: https://baovanhoa.vn/gia-dinh/cho-con-doi-chan-dung-trai-san-con-duong-237408.html
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