Harmonizing happiness

Our ancestors had a saying, "Even cups clatter in the waves," to describe the daily, inevitable conflicts in married life. Arguments can sometimes be a spice of marriage, helping both partners understand each other, learn to compromise, and build a stronger relationship, as long as they know how to resolve conflicts positively.

Mr. Tri Tin always dedicates a lot of time to caring for his wife and children in order to maintain family happiness.

"My husband and I constantly argue; we start fighting the moment we open our mouths," said Ms. Kieu Trinh from Ninh Kieu ward, Can Tho city, recounting a period of marital crisis in her life.

Ms. Trinh and her husband have been married for over 5 years and have one daughter. Throughout those years, their marriage has been fraught with conflict. Ms. Trinh recounted: “When we first got married, my husband and I were very happy. Every day, we each worked in different places; in the evenings, after work, we would go to the market together, cook, and have dinner in a warm and cozy atmosphere. The most challenging period in our marriage was after I gave birth, when I temporarily put my career on hold to care for the baby. We moved from the countryside to the city to start our careers, living far from our families, so we had no relatives to help. During this time, I experienced severe stress. To make matters worse, our daughter was disobedient and cried a lot, which only added to my stress and irritability.”

Lacking self-confidence, Ms. Trinh developed a jealous streak. This led to constant arguments between her and her husband. Sometimes, unable to tolerate his wife's nagging, her husband would go out drinking with friends. Her parents repeatedly advised the couple to be more considerate of each other… Following her mother's advice, "cook rice slowly over low heat and it will never burn," Ms. Trinh gradually adjusted her temperament, controlling her emotions and temper.

As for Trinh's husband, he also spends a lot of time taking care of his wife and children. This new school year, Trinh's daughter is starting kindergarten, and her husband encouraged her to go back to work. He tries to arrange his time to help his wife with housework and childcare to reduce her mental stress.

Many happy couples believe that love, care, and mutual respect are crucial factors in minimizing conflict in marriage. Mr. Tri Tin from Ninh Kieu ward shared: “My wife and I occasionally argue and raise our voices. Actually, the topics of our arguments aren't anything major, but the pressure of work and the stresses of life make us both more irritable. After the initial outburst of anger, we both strive to reconcile and strengthen our family's stability.”

In conclusion, Mr. Tin believes that besides being the economic pillar of the family, a husband needs to pay attention to his wife's emotions, care for and educate his children, and maintain family happiness through showing love, care, and listening, as well as setting a good example of morality and lifestyle for his family members.

Ms. Thuy and Mr. Tuan, from Phong Dien commune, Can Tho city, have been married for over 47 years and have two successful sons. Throughout their long life together, they know each other's personalities intimately, but disagreements and arguments are inevitable.

Ms. Thuy recounted: “My husband is very hot-tempered. Every time he gets tired from work, he gets angry for no reason and raises his voice at his wife and children. He also likes to have drinks with his friends. I worry about his health, but I can't stop him. On the other hand, my husband loves his wife and dotes on our children.” Because she understands her husband's temperament, whenever they argue, Ms. Thuy gives in and avoids quarreling. When her husband calms down, she gently advises him to gradually give up his bad habits.

Ms. Thuy shared: "Having gone through hardships, I cherish happiness even more and cherish the marital bond even more. In my opinion, to have a happy family, it's important that those involved are understanding, caring, and able to see each other's strengths and weaknesses in order to find harmony."

According to psychologists, conflicts are unavoidable in married life, stemming from individual differences in psychology, thoughts, emotions, and life perspectives, as well as the impact of external pressures such as finances and work. Each couple has their own way of nurturing happiness. However, the most common element in building a harmonious family is mutual respect, love, and care between spouses. When conflicts arise, both partners need to communicate openly and understand each other to resolve the issue harmoniously and skillfully.

Text and photos: KIEN QUOC

Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/dung-hoa-hanh-phuc-a190817.html