Instructions for 'using Bees'

Before each time Ong gets a new tutor, his mother, Bach Thuy Linh (the real name of singer-teacher Nguyet Ca), sends them a document that she affectionately calls "Ong's user guide." In it, she introduces the tutors to her son's characteristics and the methods of support.

Talk to your child as you would an adult.

"Hai Phong is a child with congenital autism, so he has difficulty expressing himself and communicating properly. For example, he may speak slowly, say a sentence without a subject, or arrange words incorrectly, or respond without using polite terms like 'sir, ma'am, yes, sir/ma'am.' This is due to his disability or because he doesn't know how to do it correctly, not because he is impolite. Therefore, a better way to support him is for teachers to immediately model the pronunciation when they see him speaking without a subject and predicate, so he can follow along… He is quite well-behaved, so when guided correctly, he will happily follow," wrote Ms. Bach Thuy Linh in the "Ong user guide."

"The 'Bee User Guide' has many similar sections. There, many of Bee's characteristics are listed by the mother along with ways to overcome them, such as: being honest which easily angers others, being lazy about reading aloud, always understanding things literally… She also mentions Bee's strengths such as: being intelligent, quick to understand, affectionate, having the ability to read silently with the eyes quite quickly, and being able to find details due to extensive practice in English reading comprehension exercises."

Overcoming the fear of unusual journeys often experienced by autistic children, Ong has been able to travel to many places with her mother, Bach Thuy Linh.

Ms. Thuy Linh also found ways to involve Ong in the "on usage instruction" process by talking to her child as if he were an adult.

"I spoke very frankly, asking her what difficulties and strengths she had. My daughter and I read books about intervention together and watched videos on YouTube. When we came to a page about the difficulties of autistic children, Ong said, 'Ah, this child is also afraid of getting their hair and nails cut, just like me.' I think when Ong understands herself, she will be able to be more independent," Ms. Linh shared.

Unusual joys…

But the "instruction manual for Ong" didn't always help Ong. When Ong went to school, the situation became much more difficult. "If autistic children attend public schools, according to regulations, the school doesn't refuse them, but the classes are too large, so teachers can hardly provide any support. Many families are required to provide disability certificates so their children can be exempt from exams, and their achievements aren't counted towards the school's overall record. Private schools, on the other hand, have the right to select and reject students."

Ong's mother was also called in twice to be "suggested" transferring schools when Ong was in elementary school. Some parents even filed complaints with the school's administration, protesting against Ong's enrollment in the same school, even though Ong wasn't the one who started the trouble…,” Thuy Linh recalled.

Letter from Ong to Grandma on November 20th

She chose a balanced learning approach for Ong, combining school and homeschooling. Ong attends school with the help of a tutor, and also learns at home following the American homeschooling program with her mother. Ong recently finished her 8th grade homeschooling exams and will continue with the same program in high school. Despite having the advantage of being an English teacher and being capable of teaching homeschooling, Thuy Linh had to accept stepping back to support her child. But for her, this trade-off is normal.

"I started my career early with an English center. Many English centers from my time have now progressed significantly. I myself enjoy learning and am capable, so I feel a little envious when my friends achieve more. I've always taken short courses; I don't stand still, but I still have a certain degree of insecurity and envy, which is unavoidable," Linh said.

Ong started his career by selling candy at a local running event's "fair."

In return, she also found other sources of joy. One of them is a 30-minute daily English learning program for mothers in the early morning or late evening. Busy mothers learn English together online for half an hour to create more opportunities at work or to teach their children. She also has a small channel for singing in English. On it, Vietnamese songs with gentle melodies are translated into English, and the famous Trinh Cong Son singer Thuy Linh from years ago sings them again. Later, Ong sometimes records with her mother. The mother and daughter's YouTube and TikTok channels, under the name Nguyet Ca Me Ong, have a large following.

She said she only finds joy in her child's progress, without any expectations. "Even if my child only says one sentence, I'm already very happy. Other parents worry when their child swears or lies, but I'm very happy that my child understands language, or knows the darker side of life like a normal child. When switching to the American high school program, while still studying the Vietnamese curriculum, Ong said: 'Mom, don't you think I'm busy enough already?' I didn't think he would say something like that. That's a joy that only mothers with autistic children can understand," Thuy Linh confided.

Source: https://thanhnien.vn/huong-dan-su-dung-ong-1852503072159452.htm