Abandon old ways of thinking.
Late in the afternoon, in their small house in Soc Trang ward ( Can Tho city), Mr. Hua Chu Khem and Mrs. Vuong Thi Nguyet Anh were preparing a simple meal. "We're getting old, so eating like this is easier on the stomach and easier to digest," Mrs. Anh said.
Mr. Hua Chu Khem and Mrs. Vuong Thi Nguyet Anh are always by each other's side. (Photo provided by the subjects)
Mrs. Anh and her husband are both retired officials, both over 70 years old. They have two children, both with their own families, and do not live with them. Their son's family lives in Canada. Their daughter works about 60km away and rarely comes home. Although phone calls and conversations via screen are still regular, they cannot fill the void of family togetherness for the couple. "Before, when they came home from work every evening, hearing the voices of their children and grandchildren in the house felt so warm. Now, it's sad, I miss my children and grandchildren," Mrs. Anh said slowly.
At first, Mrs. Anh felt a pang of sadness, but then she thought about it and realized that her children now had their own lives and had to take care of their own families. Every day, the couple woke up early and had coffee together; he still maintained his habit of reading newspapers and watching the news. When the sun rose, they both went to exercise: she practiced yoga, and he practiced martial arts and Tai Chi.
Besides exercising, the couple maintains a healthy diet, rich in green vegetables and low in fat. In their free time, Mr. Khem studies traditional medicine, learning how to take pulses and diagnose simple illnesses. Meanwhile, Mrs. Anh enjoys sewing, cutting fabric and making her own favorite clothes. Their lives in old age are therefore not monotonous; they both find their own sources of joy.
This is also a trend that has been and is forming in society: the elderly no longer rely solely on their children, but proactively prepare for their own lives, from finances and health to spiritual well-being.
According to Ms. Ly Thi Dao, a Master of Psychology and head of the School Counseling Department at the Pedagogical Practice School, the elderly today need a more open-minded perspective. They shouldn't assume that "filial piety" means sacrificing the entire personal lives of young people, but rather that it's about care, respect, and responsibility. A phone call to check in, a well-timed visit home, or simply genuine concern… sometimes means more than a reluctant presence.
Prepare for old age while you're young.
According to Ms. Ly Thi Dao, preparing for old age shouldn't begin when one is already old, but should start early. First and foremost is financial planning; savings, a pension, or a stable source of income will help the elderly reduce their dependence on their children.
Besides good health, a balanced diet, and regular exercise from a young age will determine the quality of life after the age of sixty. Equally important is mental well-being. Friendships, community, and personal hobbies are the "pillars" that help elderly people avoid feeling lonely when their children and grandchildren are not around regularly.
"Conversely, children also need to change the way they care for their parents. It's not just about being close and taking care of their meals and sleep that constitutes caring. In many cases, allowing parents to live a free, comfortable life, with sufficient finances and independence, is a more sustainable way to show filial piety," shared Ms. Ly Thi Dao.
Today, geographical distance is no longer a major barrier. Video calls and text messages can help family members stay connected, even when they are not physically close. Society changes, and so does the way of life. When parents understand and share with their children, and when children show care and respect for their parents, the generation gap will be narrowed.
Text and photos: THANH TAM
Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/tuoi-gia-va-cuoc-song-hien-dai-a203566.html
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