Having children in puberty, many parents complain of feeling pressured, even helpless when their children become stubborn, difficult to obey and tend to follow their friends. Faced with that situation, many people have chosen a tough solution to shape their children, but the results are not as expected, and sometimes even have the opposite effect!
Puberty = rebellion?
Suppressing a sigh, looking far away to hide the helplessness in her teary eyes, Ms. KM (Bac Lieu City) shared: "Sometimes it's very sad, I used to think this is the child. The son that 16 years ago I had to give birth to a death to give birth. Although many times I have comforted myself, this child is changing physiologically, likes to prove that he is an adult, is an independent individual, but did not expect his stubbornness to go so far as to want to rebel. so".
Nearly 2 years ago, Ms. KM never had a good night's sleep because she had a "headache" with her son who was at an old age. From an obedient, understanding, emotional boy who always smiles when his parents complain, after preparing to enter high school, he seems to have completely "transformed", become difficult to say, even angry. argue fiercely every time parents remind. Once, Ms. KM was invited by her homeroom teacher to talk because she found out that she was gathering with a group of friends to secretly smoke shisha and her academic results began to decline. The family atmosphere became suffocating, the meal was no longer filled with laughter, but instead was a scolding, sometimes the son even angrily dropped the meal into the room.
Although both parents are teachers of Literature, with a mild temperament, TT (Dong Hai district) is a child with a strong personality. When she entered puberty, the girl became more stubborn and rebellious to the point that her parents and family suffered continuous shocks. In 7th grade, she began to dress up every time she went to class or left the house. When I was in 9th grade, I fell in love, often skipping classes to hang out with friends. Three years in high school, she almost thought about blind love with a classmate. Fortunately, TT was able to get up and also went to university, but before the end of the last year, TT's parents had to rush to prepare for the wedding to "run the election". It's only a pity for TT's parents when they have to face many shocks, from surprise, bewilderment to despair, but what can be done when the child is foolish, what to bring!
A group of young people gather to smoke shisha. Photo: D.KC
Please sympathize to "cool" the "hot heads"
According to analysis by psychologists, the story of children becoming rebellious and rebellious at puberty is a problem that many families are facing. At this age, in addition to rapid physical development, children also have a clear change in psychology, along with the desire to assert their personal ego. There are many ways for children to assert themselves at puberty, some children will choose to stand out with rebellion, then slip, fall, mess around, compete...
At this stage, if there is a lack of guidance and companionship from adults to analyze right and wrong, set limits, it is likely that negative expressions will gradually become a rut in personality and have bad effects. quality, as well as the child's future development. However, in fact, not all parents behave skillfully when their children are rebellious, many people also make mistakes when applying strong measures such as beating and banning. But the more banned, the more children tend to resist, think that their parents do not understand them, increasingly hurt, even thinking! The distance between parents and children will be further and further away.
Experts say that puberty is the time for children to learn their own identity, so being "lost" is inevitable! Therefore, instead of scolding or severely criticizing their children, parents need to be tolerant to help their children through the "self-affirmation" phase. When children make mistakes, parents should empathize and put themselves in their children's shoes to listen and analyze right and wrong in each behavior. Spend more time talking to your children, helping them understand that parents are trusted "big friends" who always accompany and empathize with them on every journey and stage of growing up. Parents should learn to control their ego in communication and behavior; Learn how to be "forbearance" to control anger in front of your child's noise and rebellion.
There is no single formula for educating every child. But surely every child at a tender age needs care, sharing and understanding. Therefore, on the journey of children's puberty, besides the companionship of parents and families, teachers should also be the most reliable friends!
Kim Truc
