According to Chinese media, Ms. Ly Tinh and Mr. Truong Cuong decided to break up after 5 years of living together because of incompatible personalities and inconsistent views. Some time later, Ms. Ly Tinh married her new husband, Mr. Vuong Huy. I thought that life would turn to a brighter, happier place, but after getting to know Ly Tinh, Truong Vuong and Vuong Huy became very close friends.
Not only do they talk every day about life issues, Ms. Ly Tinh's two husbands, one old and one new, also meet to watch football at home, have dinner and play games together every weekend. At first, Ly Tinh did not care, she thought that Vuong Huy had the freedom to make friends. But as time passed, as the two men grew closer, Ly Tinh could no longer pretend that nothing was wrong.
The ex-husband and new husband bonded, making Ly Tinh feel uncomfortable. Illustration
Last weekend, ex-husband Truong Cuong came to our house for dinner. During the meal, her ex-husband picked up food for Ly Tinh and smiled and said: "I've lost a lot of weight lately, so I should eat a little more." At this moment, current husband Vuong Huy added: "That's right, I'm too skinny, I have to pay more attention to my health." After a while, Ly Tinh lost all appetite, she used the excuse of a headache to refuse her ex-husband's invitation to go out.
Ly Tinh then mustered up the courage to tell Vuong Huy that she never wanted to interfere with their friendship, but because Truong Cuong and she were once married, she always felt uncomfortable when she saw her ex-husband. come home. After hearing this, Vuong Huy apologized to his wife for not paying attention to her feelings, and he promised to improve this complicated three-way relationship.
Sure enough, after that Truong Cuong rarely visited the home of Ly Tinh and Vuong Huy, making her breathe a sigh of relief. However, she was still worried because the two men still kept in regular contact with each other.
After Ly Tinh's article was published, it sparked heated discussions, some people criticized Ly Tinh's ex-husband as "a thick-faced person who interfered in his ex-wife's marriage too unintentionally." ”. There are also people who advise Ly Tinh to look more closely at this strange relationship because it is very possible that she is just a front, someone who helps her new husband continue the family line.
Things to avoid when talking to your ex-husband
I regret our relationship
You may feel regretful when it's all over. But if you say you regret what you and he shared, this is really an insult, but it's not an insult to your ex but to yourself.
“Such a statement criticizes you for the choices you have made.”, shares Dr. Richard A. Warshak, clinical professor of psychiatry and author of Divorce Poison.
Comparing someone new to your ex will hurt your current relationship. Illustration
Express anger indirectly
Do you often express anger and annoyance indirectly? “This usually happens when two parties text each other,” Kavita Jhaveri-Patel, a relationship consultant (USA) shares.
“The ex-husband texted: 'I'm coming to take the kids out,' and if that didn't fit into the ex-wife's plans, she wouldn't say that, she'd just get angry.” Or there's another scenario: Your ex-husband asks if you two can stay friends. You agree, and then get upset when you see him acting like a friend so you reply back with short messages. In these cases, your words do not match your actions." Ms. Jhaveri-Patel said.
If you're not ready to be friends, gently let him know that. “I appreciate your intentions, but we need to stop communicating for a while. I will proactively contact you again when I am ready. Until then, we shouldn't text each other."
My new boyfriend is more thoughtful, funnier, and "better at love" than him
Comparing someone new to your ex will hurt your current relationship. You are using your new love as a "pawn" to make your ex jealous. In addition, if your ex has overcome the grief after breaking up with you and is dating a new lover, what you do will make you look silly and ridiculous.
In fact, there's no reason to do that if you already have a thoughtful, funny, and sexy man at home.
Tell me what makes you still hurt about our breakup
It would be cruel if you interrupted your ex's sobbing moment. But being a shoulder for him to cry on is completely detrimental to both you and him. “You give him the illusion that you two will get back together,” Dr. Judy Rabinor, psychologist, author of Befriending Your Ex After Divorce shares.
“You need to say 'I think it's better if you don't talk to me about this anymore. I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt, but this really doesn't help you at all."
Suggest he see a professional or share his feelings with a friend he trusts. If you start to feel guilty, remind yourself that you're not doing him any favors by constantly bringing up your relationship.
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