1. I live on the top floor of a low-rise apartment building, built decades ago. Here, I have a relaxing, private spot that also allows me to easily observe my surroundings. Then, over the past few years, an image has appeared in this place that I seem to love more than anything, because it encompasses both admiration and spiritual salvation.
He lives in the block opposite, with a middle-aged family including his wife, children, and parents who are nearly 80 years old. After a stroke, his mother could no longer walk. Since then, every late afternoon he takes her for acupuncture and physical therapy. From then on, I regularly went to my seat at the same time, just to see this scene.
The image depicts a thin man carrying his mother on his back, with a small plastic chair propped up against his stomach. Leaving their top-floor apartment, they descend 87 steps to the ground floor. When tired, he sets the chair down and places his mother on it. He does the same on the way back home. Each time he rests, he gently strokes his mother's hand, showing great care and affection.
2. I once carried my mother like that too, but it was in the middle of the night, in a frantic rush to take her to the hospital. Seeing this familiar image, I suddenly felt a pang of sadness, unable to avoid remembering the past. My mother lived in the countryside. After graduating, I went to work in the city. Some acquaintances praised me for always returning home to be with my mother whenever I had free time, sometimes traveling over a thousand kilometers round trip just to spend more than half a day with her, or for diligently caring for her in her final days.
Illustrative image
But filial piety is a profound virtue, as vast as the ocean and sky; how can children possibly measure its full potential? Especially now, with our lives filled with so many worries: studies, social life, career, our own families… In our relentless pursuit of life's milestones, we sometimes forget our filial duty to our parents.
There were many times I felt tormented, wondering what my mother must have endured on the day my grandmother passed away, and who comforted her. My mother was close to Uncle Tư, whose house was in the middle of the fields. After her afternoon nap, she would often put on her conical hat and cross the fields to the windy, shady courtyard where Uncle Tư would be waiting with boiled potatoes and cassava. After Uncle Tư passed away, my mother would occasionally put on her hat and cross the fields, sitting alone in the same spot. Her heart was pounding with loss and emptiness now that her only old friend was gone.
Despite our attempts at comparison, we often perceive our own pain as immense, rarely paying attention to the difficulties others face. Only when we are overwhelmed by similar situations do we truly understand and empathize. Parents also experience sorrow and worry; their souls and mental health require care. The elderly age quickly in loneliness, in their own private struggles, without anyone to accompany them or help them overcome their difficulties. However, recognizing and alleviating their negative emotions requires a very subtle awareness on the part of their children, as they always want to avoid burdening us.
3. Like many parents, Viktor Frankl, the Jewish psychologist, desperately wanted his son to come to America for a brighter future. But Frankl chose to stay behind, to help his parents cope with the negative emotions they felt, as they faced the risk of being sent to concentration camps during the brutal Nazi persecution.
Through several books (such as *Man's Search for Meaning*), Frankl asserts that the decision to stay gave him an enduring sense of happiness; it is the fundamental meaning of life when one cares for loved ones, even when enduring torture and facing the brink of death.
On several forums, many people claim to have difficulty getting along with their parents, blaming the "generation gap," but fail to realize that it is their own "temperament"—their personality and how they view their parents—that has "labeled" this. To connect with each other and find common ground requires a process of companionship, accumulation of experiences, and sharing.
4. Having become friends with the couple who lived in the same apartment building, I was occasionally delighted to help him carry his low plastic chair up dozens of stairs. Once, I happened to arrive early and overheard him softly saying to his wife, "Wait until I finish reporting on my work at the office, then we'll talk." His wife explained to me, "It's the same every day; after coming home from work and having dinner, he talks to his parents and then handles his work. But the important thing is that his mother is very happy."
I thought to myself, this isn't just a habit, but a conscious awareness elevated to a principle and way of life, established by him to steadfastly follow. We have a future: hoping to find a suitable partner, have obedient children, a comfortable home, and a glorious career. Our parents grow old with time, only their past shines ever brighter. And their future is in our eyes.
Illustrative image
My friend, a sociologist, in a study on the aging population, found that life expectancy increased and older people were happier and healthier when they lived with their children, even if they were poor, but cheerful, respectful, talkative, and showed them love. They were happy in the feeling that they were still useful and that their children could rely on them. In many situations, even when children didn't need their advice, closeness and frequent sharing with their parents helped them to self-regulate and make wiser decisions.
There's a rather interesting algorithm: if you view a particular topic on a social media app, that topic will constantly appear before your eyes. Imagine this algorithm in family interactions. If you step back, sit down, and open your heart, the "algorithm" will subtly upgrade the relationship, making it deeper and more intimate. The "unfading feeling of happiness," as Viktor Frankl experienced, will be the reward.
Life's length doesn't seem to follow the four seasons, but rather is measured by the increasing or decreasing number of "what ifs." How much longer do we have our parents? Put aside work, set aside social obligations, and cleanse your heart to see the radiant light of family love. Gently gaze at your parents, admire your siblings, watch your children... converse and bask in the source of happiness.
SNOWYNESS
Source: https://www.sggp.org.vn/coi-nguon-hanh-phuc-post838654.html
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