Don't criticize, create barriers.

SGGP 03/06/2023 13:36

During the school year's farewell season, young people who haven't yet reached adulthood sign their names on shirts, throw colored powder, attend Prom (short for Promenade, a Western term for a ball held at the end of the school year) in revealing dresses, take photos, kiss, and… propose.

Unrestricted performances

These past few days, whether on campus or social media, there have been countless images of students hugging like lovers, male students carrying female students, and even kneeling to propose and kiss in front of many people. The most "viral" event this graduation season was the marriage proposal of a 12th-grade student from a high school in Vinh Phuc . The male student approached the female student with a bouquet of flowers amidst cheers and applause from his classmates, then knelt down and put a ring on her finger. Everyone around cheered: "Kiss her!"

A viral photo of a pair of 12th-grade students from a high school in Vinh Phuc during their graduation ceremony has gone viral.

The schoolyard, once a place for graduation ceremonies, expressions of gratitude, and coming-of-age celebrations, has been quickly transformed by students into a place for adults, brazenly engaging in activities unsuitable for students and inappropriate in a public place.

While schoolyard displays of maturity are considered mild, prom parties demand a higher level of sophistication. These evening parties witness the dramatic transformation of those who consider themselves mature after graduation, tall and radiantly beautiful. They freely dye their hair, wear makeup, dress provocatively, hug, kiss, smoke, and drink alcohol—things they were forbidden to do just days before when they were students. This display of maturity is rushed and impulsive.

Ms. Pham Thi Quynh (Thu Duc City, Ho Chi Minh City) wondered: "I'm not old yet, and I consider myself open-minded in many things, but I'm still not used to seeing 12th-grade students being so revealing, affectionate, and proposing at their graduation ceremony. I really can't imagine how far the boundaries of public behavior extend."

Given this reality, educational psychology experts believe that teenagers have a characteristic desire to prove themselves and seek recognition, therefore adults must create clear boundaries to prevent them from crossing them.

Mature and respectful

There's an enduring contradiction: adults find it strange, but children see nothing strange about it and don't feel embarrassed. This contradiction is difficult to resolve because perspectives on boundaries differ across generations. Instead of criticizing, let's help children understand that expressing their privacy is both a very serious and sensitive matter.

Ms. Nguyen Ho Thuy Anh, M.Sc. in Education and lecturer at the John Robert Powers School of Talent and Character Development, explains: While adolescent feelings cannot be suppressed, expressing affection through hugging, kissing, and proposing in school is unacceptable. Even international schools have regulations prohibiting excessive displays of affection on campus. According to Ms. Thuy Anh, it's time for schools to establish regulations regarding the display of intimate gestures and actions within the school environment.

Ms. Pham Le Thanh, a young teacher at Nguyen Hien High School (District 11, Ho Chi Minh City), always strives to engage her students in engaging subjects and experiential activities. She frankly stated: "There needs to be limits in the school environment. Beauty always needs to be admired by many people, what we call fans. Today's youth are exposed to many singers, idols, and romantic stories, which influences them. For me, this isn't bad, but students need to be shown if the environment is truly suitable for this expression. For example, at the graduation ceremony, everyone wears uniforms because it's the last time in their lives as 12th-grade students they'll wear the pristine white shirt. We should maintain uniformity and avoid dressing in a way that creates individuality," Ms. Thanh said.

Ms. Thuy Anh offered this advice: 12th-grade students, around 17-18 years old, are mature. Maturity means learning to respect those around them. Therefore, if their actions or gestures negatively affect others, they need to stop. Schools need regulations that discourage or prohibit inappropriate behavior; this is how schools educate students to respect others – a character trait necessary in all circumstances and environments.

Mr. Minh Luan, a parent of a student at Saigon Practice High School (District 5, Ho Chi Minh City), shared: “During our school years, everyone has had crushes on someone. At class reunions later on, we often reminisce about regrets for not daring to confess our feelings or hold hands with the girl sitting next to us. So we shouldn't judge our children harshly if they don't cross the line. Instead of condemning them, I often take my two sons out for coffee to talk things through and guide them so they don't go too far.”

Source: https://www.sggp.org.vn/dung-phe-phan-hay-tao-rao-chan-post692254.html