I'm single and doing very well right now.

Having been single for quite a long time, the pressures of adulthood have made My Trinh "addicted" to living alone and afraid of falling in love - Photo: C. TRIEU

On those forums, there were quite a few comments from a group of young people saying they were hesitant to fall in love and were used to living alone.

The prospect of becoming parents is no longer so appealing to them.

Many young people say they are not very enthusiastic about getting married and having children, even though they have heard about policies that support and encourage having two children and will provide some benefits such as consideration for reduced personal income tax, access to social housing, priority for children to attend public schools, etc.

Being single is great, why not live life my own way... these are just a few of the many reasons people give, sounding as lighthearted and simple as how each person is enjoying "life only once."

Being in love, dating, and caring for each other is wonderful; I've experienced it myself. But if your finances aren't stable yet, don't rush into a relationship. It's better to focus on work and taking good care of yourself first, and worry about everything else later.

HOANG NGOC LUAN (27 years old, Binh Duong )

I'm happy!

Gia Han, a female financial consultant from District 3, Ho Chi Minh City, always attracts attention wherever she goes with her slender, healthy figure and ever-present smile. Almost everyone who knows Han, who is approaching 34, is surprised, their eyes widening in astonishment.

Some people even casually asked her for her "secret" to radiant beauty, to which Hân simply replied with a smile, "I'm happy being single." Hân's family also constantly urged her to get married and have children soon, saying that a woman's youth would pass quickly. Each time, Hân would just smile. If her parents spoke more harshly, she would simply nod and let it pass.

The girl had also been through a few relationships. For various reasons, the people she loved left her one after another. After each relationship ended, Han would be consumed by grief, crying until her eyes were swollen. "After a few heartbreaks, I realized there's no reason to keep falling in love and bringing sadness upon myself. And it's true, I haven't been in a relationship for the past four years, but every morning when I wake up, I feel very happy," Han said with a smile.

While women embrace singlehood for fear of heartbreak from failed relationships, men also have many reasons to choose solitude. Ngoc Hoang (34 years old, Binh Tan District, Ho Chi Minh City) says his position as a communications specialist at a multinational corporation consumes almost all of his time. Therefore, if he were to fall in love, constantly checking on, picking up, and caring for someone would be very difficult. Hoang estimates that he hasn't been in a relationship for seven years.

Meanwhile, Hoang Ngoc Luan (27 years old, Binh Duong) argues that "if you're poor, you shouldn't fall in love with anyone." Luan says that love nowadays must go hand in hand with financial capability. "If a man can't afford the expenses of dating, then there's no point in dating. It's best to focus on working hard to secure your livelihood; living that way is still happy," Luan said.

"Alone" with head held high.

Independence, in some ways, brings many positive values. But for many young people, this very love for independence unintentionally makes them more hesitant to fall in love and less inclined to get married. Having graduated from university and moved to Ho Chi Minh City to start his career more than 5 years ago, Trong Khanh proudly shared that he once had a rather beautiful relationship.

They had considered marriage, but Khanh stopped because he couldn't meet the requirement of living with his wife's family. Since then, he has chosen to live alone with his head held high. Currently working as an assistant director with a very stable salary, Khanh has even managed to buy an old apartment on installment payments. His family has repeatedly asked him about finding a partner, but Khanh always refuses.

Khanh said he's gotten used to and loves his single life, and every time he thinks about getting married, he "fears losing control of his own life." He said he's used to and happy with making his own decisions and being proactive in all his activities and plans. "Once you get married and have children, you won't be able to do that anymore. Even though you and your spouse respect each other, you still have to discuss everything together, and there will definitely be times when you disagree. So, staying single and independent is still better," Khanh said.

Like Khanh, Quynh Hoa (29 years old), an office worker in Tan Phu District (Ho Chi Minh City), said, "I feel scared when someone intrudes into my life." She said she's used to a life where she goes to work in the morning, goes out with friends in the evening when she feels like it, and stays home watching movies, listening to music, or reading books when she's tired. Hoa laughed: "Everything is so peaceful, but falling in love is a nightmare. You have to explain everything you do, and you're constantly watching each other, pretending to be very concerned and caring. I'd rather spend that time taking care of myself and my family."

Lazy to love

Connecting in the "4.0 era" is both difficult and easy. The plethora of dating apps makes finding a partner even more convenient. But some people say they're actually too lazy to fall in love. My Trinh (28 years old, living in Da Nang ) is one example.

Trinh recounted that several people had confessed their feelings to her, and she even had a crush on one guy, but it was all one-sided. After graduating and starting work, the whirlwind of job responsibilities and the pressures of adulthood made it even harder for her to open up to someone. To this day, Trinh admits she's reluctant to fall in love because the freedom and vibrant daily life of being single gradually captivates her.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/minh-doc-than-hien-dang-rat-on-20240301001335095.htm