The struggles of a mother-in-law in the 4.0 era.

It's rare for a girl in love to think so much about her future mother-in-law, someone she's never met. (Photo: ITN)

Recently, researchers have discovered a rather strange phenomenon regarding the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship. Specifically, when conflict arises in this relationship, the fundamental problem often lies with... the mother-in-law.

The struggles of a mother-in-law in the 4.0 era.

Some families are plagued by constant arguments, but once the mother-in-law leaves, things seem to become more peaceful.

Why is it that when conflicts arise between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the root cause is always the mother-in-law's fault? What is the nature of the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship? Are there ways to resolve or avoid it?

Xiaomei was a very lively and cheerful girl when she first started working at NetEase, a platform that provides data storage services.

Later, like many other girls, Xiaomei went through blind dating, falling in love, getting married, having children, and the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflict began.

To date, Xiaomei has worked at the company for eight years, and her child is now five years old. Her colleagues have noticed a change in her: she smiles less and her mood is more erratic after getting married, especially after having a child.

Xiaomei used to have very harmonious relationships with her colleagues; they often went out to eat together. But now, her colleagues are hesitant to interact with her. Everyone has heard her complain about her mother-in-law and husband.

In most of her stories, she speaks ill of her mother-in-law. Therefore, everyone agrees that it was her mother-in-law's fault that transformed a cheerful, easy-going girl into the shrewish woman she is today!

Why do many people think it's the mother-in-law's fault? First, let's look at the situation. After a girl gets married, the brightness in her eyes seems to disappear. It's easy to think that a person's changed state of mind is due to someone else; for example, if there's conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it's the mother-in-law's fault.

In reality, in today's age, the communication channels of older people are limited, and even if they recount their experiences to their children and grandchildren, the younger generation doesn't pay much attention. Meanwhile, a daughter-in-law's complaints sometimes spread very quickly online!

Furthermore, older people are not very good at using the internet, so they have fewer opportunities to "complain" about their daughters-in-law. This creates the impression that "most problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lie with the mother-in-law."

But does the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law issue really lie with the mother-in-law? Where does its root cause lie?

Causes of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

When a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together and have significant differences in daily habits that they are unwilling to change or be tolerant of, they often resort to arguing to achieve their desired outcome. (Image: ITN).

Problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are truly unavoidable, due to the many influencing factors. In the past, mothers-in-law often controlled the family finances and were strict with their daughters-in-law.

Even though the current mother-in-law may not be like that, some mothers-in-law still have high expectations of their daughters-in-law in order to fulfill their role, leading to tension between the two generations. Therefore, this is indeed a mother-in-law issue.

It's rare for a girl in love to think so much about her future mother-in-law, someone she's never met. But there are some mothers-in-law who actually think about how to deal with their daughter-in-law even before they know who she is.

In many families, the person in the "dominant" position is usually the mother-in-law. The arrival of a daughter-in-law has begun to shift the "flow" of the family. For example, the son, whom the mother cares about most, may no longer listen to her but instead listen to his daughter-in-law. This feeling of disparity can lead the mother-in-law to create more difficulties for her daughter-in-law.

Furthermore, cultural differences are also a factor. The educational level of today's younger generation is generally much higher than that of previous generations. Because of these cultural differences, there will be relatively large differences in communication and attitudes towards issues between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Differences in values ​​are also a major trigger for conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. These differences are often reflected in parenting styles. Some older women insist on traditional methods of raising children, while their daughters-in-law consider them unscientific . These differences in values ​​easily lead to arguments.

Differences in lifestyle habits also exist. Sometimes the mother-in-law is used to living frugally while the daughter-in-law buys whatever she likes. The mother-in-law doesn't want to throw things away, while the daughter-in-law hates having things piled up all over the house...

When a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together and have significant differences in their daily habits that they are unwilling to change or be tolerant of, they often resort to arguing to achieve their desired outcome.

The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship today is actually much better than it used to be. What we need to do is know what we want and then solve the problem purposefully. Of course, the husband also plays a very important role in this.

Only when the family is harmonious can everything prosper. This is absolutely true for the relationship between husband and wife, as well as between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/noi-kho-cua-me-chong-thoi-40-172241011215137538.htm