Understanding is key to keeping the flame of love alive.

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is close and intimate, yet also very sensitive. Some families are always happy because the mother-in-law understands and loves her daughter-in-law like her own child; others may have to go through several "clashes" before finding common ground. Regardless of the circumstances, when mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law prioritize sincerity, know how to listen, and try to put themselves in each other's shoes, their bond will be strengthened, keeping the "flame" of love burning in each home.

Ms. Thanh Hue (on the left) with her daughter-in-law and family attending her grandson's graduation ceremony. Photo: Provided by the interviewee.

Ms. Hong Nga from Ninh Kieu ward recalled that when she first became a daughter-in-law, her biggest fear was cooking. She said, "I'm clumsy and not good at cooking. My husband's family is used to elaborate meals, with dishes that are delicious and nutritious. Some days, I'd stand in the kitchen and my hands would fumble, not knowing how to season the food properly. Looking at the messy pots, pans, and dishes, I felt even more pressured."

Seeing her daughter-in-law's awkwardness, Nga's mother-in-law didn't scold her, but patiently guided her step by step, helping her reduce stress. Then the two of them discussed how to organize the housework. On days when the mother-in-law cooked, Nga helped wash dishes and clean the kitchen; and when Nga showcased her signature dishes, the mother-in-law stood beside her, giving further instructions. Not only that, the mother-in-law patiently taught her how to braise fish properly and how to season it to suit the taste of older people. Gradually, the kitchen was no longer a place that made Nga nervous, but became a "meeting place" for the two of them to chat and become closer. According to Nga, living together made her realize that her mother-in-law was quiet but always cared for her children. "As a daughter-in-law, you don't need to be perfect, as long as you know how to listen. A peaceful home is thanks to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law being willing to compromise and think of each other," Nga confided.

For Ms. Bao Ngoc in Binh Thuy ward, the first days of being a daughter-in-law were also a journey of "learning the family's customs." As an accountant at a private enterprise, she often worked overtime. Sometimes she would arrive home late at night, to a cold meal, and she felt guilty for fear of upsetting her mother-in-law. However, her mother-in-law never scolded her. She quietly set aside some food, reheated it, and gently advised, "You must take care of your health while you work."

It was this gentleness that eased Ngoc's burden and made her feel understood. At home, her mother-in-law not only helped with the cooking but also served as a source of emotional support for her daughter-in-law. When Ngoc was pregnant, her mother-in-law reminded her to go for checkups on schedule, eat a nutritious diet, and advised her son to share household chores with his wife. Whenever Ngoc and her husband had disagreements, her mother-in-law would call them both to sit down and talk, analyzing the pros and cons, helping them understand each other and resolve their misunderstandings.

In reality, many families experience tension stemming from generational differences, such as lifestyles, childcare practices, and spending habits. Not every new daughter-in-law knows how to please her mother-in-law, and not every mother-in-law fully understands the pressure her daughter-in-law faces. However, when one side becomes less strict and the other actively shares, these differences can be resolved more easily.

Ms. Thanh Hue, residing in Long Tuyen ward, lives with her eldest son and his wife. Her daughter-in-law is a factory worker, leaving at dawn and returning late at night every day, so Ms. Hue proactively shares household chores to ease her burden. Ms. Hue confided, "My daughter-in-law is like my own daughter; only with love can we live together and share responsibilities."

Ms. Hue recounted that when her daughter-in-law gave birth to her first grandchild, after her maternity leave ended, she had to return to work. The long commute to and from work made things even more difficult for her, so she decided to rent a room near the company and stay there for several months to care for the baby. She shared, "The rent was expensive, but I still managed, as long as my daughter-in-law wasn't so burdened and the baby was well cared for." Understanding Ms. Hue's love and care, her daughter-in-law wholeheartedly respected her, paying close attention to Ms. Hue's health, and they confided in each other about both big and small family matters.

According to psychologists, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are usually not difficult to resolve if both sides maintain respect and proper communication. If the mother-in-law is more open and the daughter-in-law is more proactive in sharing, small clashes will not escalate into big problems, and the family will more easily maintain harmony and happiness.

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Source: https://baocantho.com.vn/thau-hieu-de-giu-lua-yeu-thuong-a197122.html