Should we improve ourselves or improve others?

In daily life, when conflicts or unpleasant situations arise, people's familiar reaction is often to look outward: where did the other person go wrong, how unjust society is, and what difficulties their circumstances are causing them?

It's easy to recognize the faults of others, but it's very difficult to turn inward and reflect on ourselves. The question, "Should we correct ourselves or others?" is therefore not just a moral choice, but a fundamental direction in how people confront suffering.

If we are good, others will be good too.

Correcting others seems easier because it gives us a sense of right, of being in a position to judge. Pointing out others' faults reinforces our ego, and we temporarily avoid confronting our own imperfections. But the more we try to correct others, the more powerless we become. Others have their own inner worlds , habits, and karma. No one can be changed by command, criticism, or imposition. Trying to correct others often leads to arguments, resentment, and broken relationships because the person being "corrected" feels rejected and disrespected.

Self-improvement is different. It's a more difficult path, but a more practical one. When we turn inward to self-improvement, we no longer waste energy controlling what is beyond our control, but focus on what we can control: our own body, speech, and mind. Self-improvement is not about self-blame or inferiority complex, but about the ability to recognize negative mental reactions such as anger, stubbornness, and competitiveness, and gradually transform them. When a person changes from within, their speech, behavior, and presence change accordingly, and this naturally influences others.

In Buddhist teachings, the Buddha taught that each person is the master of their own karma. No one can practice virtue, attain enlightenment, or bear the consequences for another. Therefore, self-improvement is the path in accordance with the law of cause and effect. When we sow good seeds within ourselves, good fruits will first appear in our hearts: peace, tranquility, and fewer conflicts. From there, our surroundings will gradually change.

The paradox is that when we stop trying to fix others, the relationship has a chance to heal. A person who knows how to listen, acknowledge their mistakes, and adjust themselves often prompts the other person to reflect on themselves. Change doesn't come from pressure, but from prompting. Not through advice, but through a way of life. That is the silent power of self-improvement.

However, self-improvement doesn't mean passively accepting or ignoring all wrongdoing. There are situations where constructive criticism is needed, where boundaries must be clearly defined, and what is right must be defended. But unlike "correcting others" through judgment, constructive criticism stemming from clear thinking and good intentions will not carry resentment. When one's mind is calm, words will be less hurtful, and the listener will be more receptive.

The question "Should we improve ourselves or improve others?" doesn't require an extreme answer. But if we have to choose a starting point, it's always self-improvement. Because only when we change our own perspective, our way of thinking, and our way of living do the world around us have a chance to change. Improving others means trying to control external circumstances. Improving ourselves means learning to master our inner selves. And in the journey to a peaceful life, the second path, though slower, is far more sustainable.

Source: https://baophapluat.vn/sua-minh-hay-sua-nguoi.html