And, the dew has returned…

Suddenly one morning, I caught sight of thick fog covering the sky and earth, dipping everything into a gloomy, hazy gray. He blurted out: The weather has changed, the rain has stopped. I mumbled to get it over with, my mind preoccupied with thoughts: What month is it that the fog has returned?

What month is it that the dew has already come? Suddenly, I realized that it is almost the end of October. So another winter is coming. Suddenly, I realized that another year is almost over. The footsteps of time are so long, like a giant that only needs one step to pass a year, while I myself am just slowly walking, eating, and dozing. To the point that it seems like just yesterday I was hanging out with my friends at restaurants, eating street food, wandering through the book street, stopping by the library... But in the blink of an eye, it has been more than ten years. Suddenly, I realized that I am old. Suddenly, I realized that I am still empty-handed. Suddenly, I feel a sadness for no reason. What month is it? What year is it? If only we could throw time into a box, put it in the refrigerator, seal it so that it freezes forever and cannot move anymore. Then, we can freely roam, freely sleep, freely read books... We are no longer afraid of growing old. We don't fear the end of the year anymore. Isn't that better!

Then suddenly burst out laughing at my naive thoughts. Everything is finite, only time is infinite. Only time never ages. Accepting the finite, accepting change, accepting loss, then we can hope for rebirth to appear. Just like the seasons change throughout the year. Autumn has just come and then it has ended, giving way to the approaching winter. The gentle, cool weather gives way to the cold that is about to come.

It started with the fog. The fog stayed up since midnight, working hard to cover all the roads, all the fields, covering the sky and the earth. It was as crowded as a national highway, but the heat from the exhaust fumes of the vehicles could not dispel the fog, so we had to drive slowly to find our way. The fog blew into the cold mask and down our throats. So winter had really come. So the end of the year had really come. Sadness and joy mixed together. Wistfulness and nostalgia mixed together. We would see thousands of flowers blooming again. We would be able to reunite with our families. But we were also slightly sad because our parents' time was getting shorter and shorter. Who knows when their last day of life will be? Therefore, the saddest thing for the elderly is the sadness of being passive in time, unable to make a definite plan for themselves.

What is more exciting than the moment of changing seasons? Suddenly realizing the scent of milk flowers is strong in the wind. Driving through a familiar street at night, suffocating because of the strong, pungent smell of the flowers. Suddenly burst into laughter because in the past, when milk flowers were not yet grown in this country, I often hummed softly to the melody of the song "Milk Flowers", still wishing to smell the magical scent of the flower of love, but when I smelled the milk flowers, I stuck out my tongue and ran away because the scent was so strong and unpleasant. Truly, everything is only beautiful in our imagination.

The weather has started to get drier, and the wind has changed direction. It won't be long before the cold wind starts to blow. The cold wind is the season when everything is dry. Skin is chapped and moldy. Lips are dry and bleeding. The most frightening thing is the cold of the night dew. The dew is everywhere. The dew seeps through the cracks into the house. The dew makes the body tired and exhausted. And the dew spreads a sadness across the sky and earth, so that every morning when opening the door to see a cloudy color, one can only sigh and lament why there is so much dew. Yet one likes to stand in front of the door, absent-mindedly watching the dew, longing to rake it into a pile, to lie on it, it must be very soft and cool.

One morning, the fog was so cold that I rested my head on my husband’s shoulder, trying to find warmth. There is nothing better than sleeping in next to the person I love. It’s just a hug, just warmth, but it’s a strong bond between husband and wife. At times like that, I silently thank the fog for being cold so I can enjoy the feeling of warmth next to the person I love. It turns out the fog is quite lovely.

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