Family meals are the lessons, so why rush around searching for them?

Many parents rush to enroll their children in extra classes, neglecting family meals in the process. Yet, these meals provide students with invaluable practical lessons.

No matter how busy you are, always keep family meals together.

For the past 20 years, balancing her professional work with caring for her family and children, expert Tran Thi Que Chi, Deputy Director of the Institute for Educational Sciences and Training (IES), says she has never neglected family meals for her children. As a single mother with four children ranging from preschool to high school age, Ms. Que Chi has consistently maintained family meals with her children, at least once a day.

Ms. Que Chi (third from the left) always values ​​family meals. Her family always sits down together for at least one meal a day.

"I believe that family meals shouldn't just be understood as everyone in the family sitting down together to eat during main meals. It should be understood in a broader sense, as all members gathering together, sharing a light snack, and having a drink. Every day, I try to sit down with my children for breakfast or dinner. Or, after finishing work in the evening, my whole family sits together enjoying a drink or some fruit, and I can openly talk with my children about all sorts of things in life. Those are always the happiest moments for me," Ms. Que Chi confided.

Dr. Huynh Trung Tuan, a school health worker at Trung Trac Primary School in District 11, Ho Chi Minh City, said that for decades, no matter how busy his professional work was, he and his wife always managed to find time to cook dinner at home, with the whole family gathering to eat together. Except for unexpected emergencies, which he would inform his wife and children in advance so they wouldn't wait for him, everyone maintained the family tradition of eating dinner together, chatting and sharing stories after a hard day of work and school.

"In the current generation, many young people lack family meals. Family meals are very important; it's a place where grandparents, parents, and children sit together, share a meal, and thereby strengthen family bonds and unity," said Dr. Huynh Trung Tuan.

We learn from the meals at home, it's not something far-fetched.

Dr. Huynh Trung Tuan said that many families are currently sending their children to too many extra classes. Many parents also say, "I don't have time to cook for my children." "Any parent can arrange time for their children. But many parents make their children study too much; if you're constantly taking them to and from classes, where do you find the time to cook for them? So instead of six classes a week, just have three, and use the remaining three to cook for your children and help them with their studies," Dr. Tuan shared.

Dr. Tuan also said that witnessing their parents working hard outside the home and then rushing around in the kitchen to cook, children will understand and help their parents prepare meals, learning how their parents cook. From there, children will remember and cherish home-cooked meals even more. That's where it all begins; meals become an invisible bond that connects family members and teaches children many valuable lessons.

Doctor Huynh Trung Tuan affirmed the extremely important role of family meals for all generations.

"Family meals are very important for a child's development. I've observed that in families where parents regularly eat dinner with their children, the children are well-behaved, successful, and excel in their studies. Because meals with grandparents and parents are not just about nutrition, but also about emotional connection; they show that parents care about their children. Children of any age—preschool, elementary, middle, high school, or even older—need a warm family environment and family traditions. During a meal, a simple question from grandparents or parents is worth far more than any knowledge a child learns from books. Children understand that their whole family is there to support them, and when they face difficulties, they know who to share their burdens with," Dr. Tuan shared.

At the same time, according to Dr. Tuan, in terms of food safety and nutrition, family meals are definitely more reassuring than meals children buy or eat on the go. So why don't parents let their children eat home-cooked meals, which are delicious, healthy, and rich in emotional value, instead of letting them eat out to keep up with extra classes?

Do developed countries value family meals?

Many people believe that in developed, modern countries, family meals are no longer valued. The reality is quite different. According to expert Tran Thi Que Chi, Deputy Director of the Institute for Educational Sciences and Training (IES), based on her experience working in Sydney, Australia, people there have very clear working hours. After 6 PM, the lights go out, work is over, and everyone returns home to their families. Importantly, they don't work on Saturdays and Sundays, dedicating this time to family and friends. People can meet, go out, and eat together. Even when working with foreign partners, people there adhere to this principle, and everyone must respect it. Unless there is an agreement between the two parties regarding working hours, everything must be clear and unambiguous beforehand.

Ms. Chi also said that, according to her research, in the US, people may not eat together every day because of the hectic pace of life, but on weekends, people try to have meals together. In France, family meals are often extended, with people enjoying the time together, prioritizing moments for loved ones. People often focus on cooking and gathering for dinner. In Sweden, the time family members usually spend together is for drinking coffee, eating pastries, etc.

Poor students these days!

Many readers commented on the series of articles in Thanh Nien Newspaper titled "Many Students Long for Home-Cooked Meals ." Parent Tuan Nguyen shared: "School isn't enough, so they have to take extra classes. The current education system and family environment have led these children to this situation."

Reader Nga Ha Thi shared: "I don't understand why parents have such high expectations for their children, forcing them to study excessively and then blaming the teachers for extra tutoring. Children only need to study 3 subjects, which is 6 sessions a week, regardless of the subject group. So, they only need to study outside of school from 5 to 7 pm, and that's it."

Reader Nguyen Nhat Nam lamented: "Poor students these days."

User zumykawa1983 commented: "The decision to have extra classes is up to the parents; we shouldn't force our children to study too much and put pressure on them. We should identify which subjects our children are weak in and let them study those, not just a few subjects. Even though we're busy, I still wake up early in the morning to cook breakfast for the children, and in the afternoon, my husband and I try to get home early to cook dinner and eat together. We only let them study until 7 pm, so we always eat together at home."

Source: https://thanhnien.vn/bua-com-gia-dinh-bai-hoc-o-do-sao-phai-chay-don-dao-kiem-tim-185241210194407262.htm