They were right to tease. The old bike couldn’t be any older. Each turn of the bike was a lively harmony. It was a mixture of the clanging of the broken brake lever, the screeching of the ball bearings running out of oil, the clattering of the dented anvil, rubbing against the wheels. The worst part was every time I stopped the bike, I had to quickly climb down the side, rubbing my feet on the ground to brake. It wasn’t that Mom didn’t care about the safety of her children, it was just a necessity. We were so poor! Well, we weren’t so poor that we couldn’t afford a mini bike with a basket in front that I thought I would look cool on, but Mom’s motto was to buy it when I couldn’t ride it anymore. New bikes would eventually get old. Or we could take them to Mom and have them fixed up to look better. No way, don’t even think about competing for beauty or ugliness! As long as the pedals still run, that’s fine. Riding a bike is still more miserable than walking. Mom said no wrong, so she had no choice but to whine. My mother's personality has become a "brand" known to the whole neighborhood: she uses something until it has no more value left before throwing it away. In short, there is no way to... pick up the things she throws away.
2. I passed the baccalaureate with a score almost as high as the top student in my school. I liked the University of Social Sciences and Humanities. I asked my mother to apply to that school. She said:
- Exams at the provincial Pedagogical College are free, studying near home is less expensive.
Although I didn’t want to, I had to reluctantly study at Pedagogical College according to my mother’s wishes. Even though I was a Pedagogical student, my friends teased me: “I’m a country bumpkin”. I heard and could only smile, not sad, not angry because I also vaguely felt my rusticity.
A girl tanned from head to toe. I don’t know how to use a mask, don’t use cosmetics, and have never once held a lipstick to my lips. Standing in front of the mirror, I couldn’t believe I was a first-year student. This was the “achievement” of the days of bathing in the river and also the result of my mother’s saying: “If you study well, people will praise you, if you compete, people will scold you.”
My roommates clicked their tongues: “You have hidden charm, you just don’t know how to take care of yourself so you’re not beautiful yet.” Then one gave me a T-shirt and jeans, another a bar of soap, and the rich Hoa gave me a whole bottle of facial cleanser and skin cream (the cheap kind).
That weekend I cycled home, to the village entrance, everyone was praising the difference in town, it was brighter and more beautiful. But when I got home, my mother swept me from head to toe and complained:
- Mom let me go to school, not to compete!
I went in sulking. She was beautiful but I didn't compliment her. I just wanted a country girl to accept it.
3. I went to teach, the first month's salary was used to buy a rice cooker, I insisted on buying a gas stove but my mother refused, she just swept the trash and straw around the garden to light the stove, the smoke stung my eyes, while cooking rice I sweated profusely, tears flowed like crying. When I asked my mother why she didn't use the money to buy a rice cooker, she said she sold rice, saved up to buy half a tael of gold. Oh my god! My mother's only desire was to buy gold - I mumbled without fear of her hearing.
Teaching far from home, living in a boarding school, having to take a bus or a car to get home, very inconvenient. I asked to borrow money from my salary to buy a motorbike, but my mother refused. Every month I kept a little of my salary, and gave the rest to my mother to prepare the house and add more things to my parents' wardrobe. Despite all the instructions, my mother still took the money to buy gold. I was "snarky":
- Mom, please fix up the house and buy some decent clothes to wear. Don't buy any more gold!
- You guys will get married soon, you won't be staying at home with your parents forever, so why bother decorating and getting ready? Why waste money on clothes? My knees are above my ears, so shorts and tops are no good!
Then one day my mother gave me a necklace and a pair of earrings and told me to wear them. I was speechless and my mother said:
- Girls must have these things.
- Mom doesn't want to buy furniture, just keeps buying gold, I'm so bored with her!
- Living away from home, wear a little gold on your person as protection.
One coin to save, two coins to save. Mom reasoned that there was a place to keep an eye on, and then to protect herself. Mom had been like that all her life, saving and stingy with every penny. Now that she understood, she felt sorry for her but couldn't bear to be angry, so she teased: "If she had enough, she would buy gold."
4. I married a poor man. Friends and colleagues objected, my siblings were also hesitant, but my mother was not. She said that getting married did not matter whether he was rich or poor, as long as they loved each other and then they would get rich together. She arranged a wedding for her daughter, even putting some gold on her hand as a dowry. Her son-in-law was poor, but she loved him very much, afraid that her daughter would have a salary and then be rude to her husband who had not yet found a job and had only a secondary school degree. She told me over and over again that women are like water, and water must flow to low places. To be happy, husband and wife must know how to be patient, the wife should do that first.
At first, seeing that my daughter was still struggling to live in a thatched house with her husband's family, my mother gave me two cows as capital. Later, my husband got a job, I gave birth to a child, and we moved out into a small house on my husband's land. Once when I visited my daughter, I saw that she was eating and shopping comfortably. When I returned, my mother repeatedly told me to only work five out of ten, and save the rest for my child. Although my husband and I were civil servants and had a stable income, every month my mother sent someone to bring rice to the house. When my husband came back, he told my mother not to send any more. My mother yelled:
- Mom and Dad are farmers, but buying rice is so expensive. Anyway, you guys eat little, you're good at eating "badly", but you don't eat much rice.
My husband and I ate our mother's rice with peace of mind. During the rice harvest that year, I took my son home to play with straw because he insisted on going back to his grandparents' house. Seeing that only a few children were home, I was surprised:
- Hey! Has grandma not cut all the rice yet? Why is the house so empty?
- Yes! It's done, ma'am. There are only two small patches, it's done in one go.
- Where is grandma?
- I've been gleaning rice since we were still asleep.
- Oh my! You're old and don't stay home to rest, you work too hard, what are you picking up after so many "grains"?
- Grandma said people cut a lot of it, so she always goes to glean it every season.
Hearing her say that, I was stunned. The daughter was so heartless. Mom went out to the fields to dry in the sun, picking up every grain of rice that was scattered while the child was wasting money. When she was in a pinch, she sold the earrings and necklace she bought and argued: "One life of mine is worth three of hers."
Looking out at the bright sunny field, I searched for a long time but could not find my mother's figure in a few brown shirts bending over the field. Suddenly my eyes burst into tears, my heart ached.
5. In my prime, I suddenly fell ill and became pale as a leaf. My mother saw that my illness was recurring and urged me to go to the hospital. Honestly, I was afraid of dying young, so I was shocked when she said that. I was hospitalized, then re-examined, then hospitalized again, but the family had no money in reserve. I borrowed money, my husband borrowed money, but "money coming into the house is as difficult as wind entering an empty house". I was stuck but proud, so I didn't ask for help from friends, and I didn't dare ask my family. I was embarrassed, we thought we were the most well-off in the family because our jobs were stable, my mother and siblings were all farmers, so we didn't have much money to ask for money.
Then one day, my mother took a bus to the hospital to visit her daughter. She put a small cloth bag in my husband's hand. When she opened it, she saw five shiny gold bars. I choked up and said that I couldn't take care of anything but was good at reporting to my mother. My mother said not to think about it, she would lend it to me, be strong and then return it to her later.
After that, I had to transfer to another hospital but my husband could not quit his job so my mother went with me. For several months accompanying me in the hospital, from Cho Ray to Rehabilitation and then to the University of Medicine and Pharmacy, my mother took care of me every little thing but never ate out. At mealtimes, my mother bought me food and asked for charity food for herself. I felt sorry for her and insisted that she eat properly, but she said that in times of danger, we had to save money for medical treatment, charity food was also very delicious. Every meal my mother fed me but I could only eat a few spoonfuls. My mother ate my leftovers and complained: if you feed me so sickly, I will surely gain weight, if I eat like a cat, I wonder when I will recover... I was "annoyed" and said: "Don't eat anymore, my daughter is grown up, she is no longer a child, why do you have to eat leftovers?" My mother waved her hand: "What mother doesn't eat her children's leftovers, and besides, what's left over..."
At night I was in so much pain that I tossed and turned. Mom told me to hang in there, since I was a mother I had to think about my child and get well soon. Every time my daughter moved in the middle of the night, Mom would wake up and massage her whole body.
Oh my, when my mother’s bony hands and rough skin touched her soft skin, although the pain had subsided, I still felt extremely uncomfortable. I just wished I could get well soon so I could “pay back” my debt to my mother…
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