It's a way to free yourself from dependence on material things, bringing peace of mind and a more free and happy life. But to live like that, one needs courage and the ability to let go.
1. Courage
True character is demonstrated by daring to think, daring to act, being independent, and taking responsibility for one's choices – not becoming arrogant when doing well, and not blaming others when not doing well.
When you live differently from the majority, you're bound to attract attention, receive feedback, and even be criticized. Therefore, you need to have enough inner strength to keep going. Whether you succeed or not, at least you'll have become a better person to some extent.
People shouldn't live "by the opinions" of others. The more free you are from such pressures, the lighter your heart will feel. However, it's also necessary to distinguish between strength of character and stubbornness, between steadfastness and obstinacy.
I remember when I was little, I chose to attend a newly established village school instead of a specialized school in the city. At the time, many people felt sorry for me because my graduation scores were quite high, more than enough to get into the specialized Literature program I wanted.
But in return, I got to study near home, and I could go home to see my mother every day. I studied for half the day, and spent the other half tending the cows and tilling the fields to help the family. The joys and sorrows of childhood were easier to bear when I was close to my loved ones.
When I chose to study education, I heard many people say things like, "Only those who have no other choice go into education." But I chose education simply because I like being a teacher, I like sharing, and I love the teaching profession. And also because my family is poor; if I studied other fields, my mother would have had an even harder time. I never had any doubts about that choice.
It's commonly believed that studying to be a teacher leads to a settled life, waiting to live on a pension, and often resulting in poverty. I'm not trying to prove otherwise. I simply live as an exception to these ingrained mindsets.
I studied pedagogy, became a teacher, but I also worked as a psychologist, skills trainer, author, florist, in tourism , salesperson, and collaborated with radio and television stations…
Income from teaching has never been my "main source of revenue," but teaching has always been my "main arena" for growth, contribution, and bringing life experiences into each lesson. A teacher who only has theory and a teacher with practical experience are very different.
I often tell my students: "I started from humble beginnings, without good looks or connections… yet I was able to become a lecturer, expert, director, and hold a certain position in society. So you can do even better ."
My thoughts are quite complex, but my lifestyle and way of speaking, according to many, are quite simple. And in fact, sticking to simplicity is also a form of strength of character.
2. Let go
It sounds very Buddhist, but in life, what you can pick up, you can also let go of – that's a very practical truth. To grasp something new, sometimes you have to let go of something old you're holding onto.
If one day you see someone quitting their job, leaving a relationship, or giving up something, there are certainly underlying reasons. And then they will seek something new, hoping for a lighter and better future.
I've always been a do-it-all. Back in school, I liked to take on everything in group projects. Plus, I was too accommodating, prone to doubt, and always thought, "Only I can do it well." Nine out of ten people like that suffer. The worst part is they even console themselves with the thought, "I willingly choose to suffer."
Later, I started breaking down tasks, trusting my collaborators, delegating more work and giving them more autonomy, along with clear instructions. Only then did I truly feel freer, with less stress and less stress.
I used to be very "reluctant to throw things away." I'd keep even a rubber band, I couldn't bear to throw away an old elementary school notebook, and photocopied textbooks filled my bookshelves. Many things I hardly used anymore just sat there, wasting time and effort clearing out and moving them every time I moved.
At one point, I owned over 4,000 books on psychology and education , mostly purchased after I started working and earning a stable income. Before 2018, there were months when I spent over 15 million VND just on books, as if to make up for my student days when I could only dream of owning them.
After the Covid-19 pandemic, I started to change. I became more minimalist. I only bought books I really needed, keeping only those I actually used for work. The rest I sold, gave away, donated, or discarded. As a result, when I left the teaching profession to move back to Lam Dong , I only had about 2,500 books left – which, for me, was a "miracle."
Perhaps in the future, I'll further reduce the number to around under 1,000 books so that if I have to travel again, my heart will feel lighter.
3. Love without possessiveness
There are many types of love, including possessive love. Many people, seeing my solitary life or the quietness of my Facebook, often assume I must have "achieved enlightenment" and never been in love.
Actually, that's not the case. I also have very ordinary feelings. And when I fall in love with someone, I usually love them for a very long time. Unless they leave, I rarely take the initiative to let go first.
For me, love is not just a fleeting emotion. It doesn't end when the joy or excitement fades. Love based solely on emotion is very vulnerable.
Many adults understand that: they come together because of love, stay together because of a sense of duty; they live together out of responsibility, and cherish and preserve each other through memories.
I once loved someone for ten years, and it's remained the same. Even though we're no longer together, I still cherish them. Meeting them again still brings the same tenderness as in the beginning.
Six years, twelve years, fourteen years… these are long enough periods of time to prove the worth of some of the special relationships in my life.
Ultimately, what I value most is that we still give each other "space" to grow and live according to our own beliefs. That is a blessing.
I'm gradually normalizing the idea of loving without possessiveness. It's like seeing a beautiful flower; you don't necessarily have to pick it. Or seeing a beautiful house; you don't necessarily have to own it.
Everything happens for a reason.
Time continues to pass, and I continue to learn to live more simply each day; to be less attached to fame, status, money, houses, and even people's hearts. Because it's not just a way of life, but also a path to liberating myself.
Don't let happiness get trapped in the excesses of material and spiritual things.
Source: https://baophapluat.vn/so-huu-it-di-hanh-phuc-nhieu-hon.html
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