Parents also need to be listened to.

Society often talks about the need for parents to listen to their children, empathize with, and understand the contemporary issues facing young people. However, few people pay attention to or understand the silent pressures of modern life and the need for care and support that parents face.

"Struggling" in silence

The pressures on modern parents aren't just economic . They also involve the dual responsibility of raising children and caring for elderly parents, while simultaneously entering their twilight years with anxieties about health, retirement, loneliness, and more.

At nearly 50 years old, Ms. Ngoc Lan, an office worker in Ho Chi Minh City, still regularly takes her grandchild to school in the morning, and in the afternoon, after work, she rushes to the market, cooks meals, cleans, and takes care of her elderly mother who is in poor health. Both of her children work, but they still live with her because they haven't yet been able to move out. "Sometimes I just wish I could have a real day off: not having to worry about cooking, cleaning the house, or answering the phone. But if I say it out loud, I'm afraid the kids will think I'm complaining or being a nuisance," she said with a smile, her eyes slightly red.

It's not that Lan isn't loved. Her children provide for her financially and give her plenty of gifts on holidays. But what she lacks are seemingly simple things: a deep and sincere conversation, a few timely words of inquiry, or simply for her children to realize that their mother also gets tired, needs rest, and wants to go out and have fun…

Meanwhile, Minh Quan, 42, a civil engineer whose job requires frequent travel, faces a different kind of pressure. With two children in elementary school and a wife who works freelance with an unstable income, the entire burden of supporting the family falls on his shoulders. However, that burden isn't always shared.

“Once, when I came home from a business trip and was about to hug and kiss my child, she recoiled, saying she hated me, that I was always frowning and never smiled,” Minh Quan shared, adding, “I didn’t want to be grumpy with my child like that, it’s just that I was so tired.” He recounted how, during his time at construction sites, he sometimes didn’t even get four hours of sleep, constantly being pressured by the investor and partners. When he returned home, everything, big and small, seemed to fall on his shoulders: from changing light bulbs and fixing clogged faucets to attending parent-teacher meetings… “I felt like a pillar supporting the sky, but even pillars eventually crack,” Quan said.

Parents and children sharing simple things in life create a strong family bond. Photo: DUNG PHUONG

Parents, especially fathers, are often expected to be strong, to shoulder the burden, and not to complain. But that silence is very vulnerable. They are expected to be the pillar of support for the whole family, while few understand and empathize, because they too are human beings with countless worries and fatigue.

Parents also need a place to lean on.

In modern society, parenting classes and guidebooks are becoming increasingly common. But few people ask the opposite question: should children listen to their parents, or who will teach children how to listen to and understand their parents?

Many young people today are independent and concerned about their mental health, which is commendable. However, in their journey of caring for their "inner child," they forget that their parents may also have been hurt, with their own dreams and unfulfilled desires.

"Most parents don't need their children to provide for them, but they need their children to understand them," commented a psychologist while counseling a student about their relationship with their parents. According to this expert, understanding isn't actually that complicated. A hug, a home-cooked meal for parents, an afternoon outing with them for coffee and catching up... sometimes these small things are precious drops of water that refresh the souls of parents that seem to have withered from the burdens of life.

Parent-child relationships vary from era to era: differences in language, background, environment, space, and even pace of life; but difference does not mean distance. What is essential is that each person in the family learns to see each other as independent individuals, with their own vulnerabilities, pressures, and unspoken voids.

Children may not need to shoulder their parents' burdens, but they can be companions. Just as children once longed for their parents to listen when they were sad or disappointed, now it's the parents' turn to need someone to slow down and listen to them talk about a sad day, a dream, old friends, or simply a pain they've never spoken of. A hug, a shared glance, a phone call… the lesson of listening is never just for one side. In a family, if each person is willing to open up, speak honestly, and listen truly, then connection and sharing will always have a way back.

Today, before you leave for work, try stopping to ask your mother, "Did you sleep well?" Or in the evening, sit next to your father and watch TV in silence. You might find that beneath that quiet exterior lies a heart that has long been untouched. And perhaps, what our parents need most from us isn't spectacular success or flowery words of thanks, but simply something very old: genuine presence.

HOANG MY

Source: https://www.sggp.org.vn/cha-me-cung-can-duoc-lang-nghe-post802640.html