6 boundaries with children that parents should not cross

Parents should not be overly obsessed with maintaining a "close" relationship with their children. Boundaries are important.

Between the ages of 18 and 35, children gradually drift apart from their parents as they go to school, start working, and begin their own families. There are six things parents should not do to cross the line.

1. Ask about how you spend your money.

As children grow older and become financially independent, having to listen to their parents' opinions on how to manage money can be frustrating.

Even though parents may have good intentions and want their children to be financially stable, as adults, you shouldn't feel obligated to follow their advice or justify your spending habits or money decisions.

In this case, it's best to be upfront with your parents. You could say, "I understand that you care about my future and want what's best for me."

"I feel comfortable with how I manage my money and my life plans. I don't want to discuss this further."

As children grow older and become financially independent, having to listen to their parents' opinions on how to manage money can be frustrating. (Illustrative image)

2. Treating your daughter-in-law like a stranger.

Recently, a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law pair became quite famous on Chinese social media for holding hands while visiting Tianmen Mountain in Zhangjiajie.

When the tour guide asked what word to use to describe their relationship, the daughter-in-law said, "Perhaps best friends," to which the mother-in-law replied, "Mother and daughter."

When a daughter gets married, she becomes part of her husband's family. However, some parents treat their daughters-in-law like outsiders, openly oppressing them.

If a conflict arises between their son and his wife, they will unconditionally side with their son.

This is a completely wrong way of thinking.

There are many benefits to having a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Whether a son treats his parents well or not depends half on his wife.

A good child is no match for a good daughter-in-law! A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law helps children grow up in a comfortable, friendly atmosphere and ensures a positive mindset.

After the parents pass away, the daughter-in-law is the one who stays by her son's side until he grows old.

Treat your daughter-in-law like your own daughter. If you do this, your old age will be happier.

3. Occupation

Some parents pressure their children to choose a particular career path that they believe is stable, lucrative, or offers status and prestige.

However, this can create significant pressure and anxiety for the child.

Having to choose a career based on their parents' wishes can make children feel like they "will never be good enough" or afraid to pursue what they believe is best suited for them.

4. Generation gap, interference in the education of children and grandchildren.

A grandmother was teaching her 5-year-old grandson, telling him this and that. Suddenly, the grandson said, "You're not my mother, why should I listen to you?"

Grandmothers on both sides look after their grandchildren, strengthening family bonds between generations.

However, taking care of the children's three meals a day, bathing them, and ensuring their safety is already busy enough; the responsibility for their education should be left to their parents.

Grandparents hope their grandchildren will grow up to be great and want to shoulder the responsibility of educating them with the perspective of "doing what's best for them."

When young people are raising their children, grandparents should "pretend to be deaf and mute." They shouldn't interfere, let alone cover up their children's shortcomings.

5. Giving unsolicited advice

According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howe, most parents tend to "like to offer advice on every topic."

This stems from anxiety or a lack of trust in their grown-up child.

This behavior from parents makes children feel inadequate and criticized...

According to experts, in this case, the child should frankly say that if they need advice from their parents, they will ask.

According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howe, most parents tend to "like to offer advice on every topic." (Illustrative image)

6. Comment on your child's body.

It is not uncommon for parents to comment on their children's body shape and size throughout their lives, even into adulthood.

Most parents will tell their child, "You should be thinner," or "You should be a little fatter"...

This can be unpleasant to listen to and even harmful, especially for those struggling with body image issues or eating disorders.

According to experts, the child can proactively suggest that their parents not bring up the topic too much, and then change the subject to something more interesting.

You can also tell your parents directly that you are hurt by this topic.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/6-ranh-gioi-voi-con-cai-ma-cha-me-khong-nen-vuot-qua-172250310154406593.htm