Be there for your child, but don't live their life for them!

Accompanying your child by listening, sharing, and advising them to make the best choices - Illustration: Q. DINH

A female student in Chau Doc ( An Giang province ) who was reported missing since the end of the 10th grade entrance exam has been found after more than two weeks of being away from home, fortunately safe.

The ninth-grade girl traveled from An Giang to Dong Nai , rented a room to live alone, and worked at a beverage shop to support herself. Even after being found by the police, she refused to return home despite her family's relentless search. The reason was simply that she was bored and didn't want to study anymore; she wanted to quit, but her parents forced her to continue studying and take the entrance exam for tenth grade, leaving her with no other choice.

This story reminds me of a classmate of my son. The boy was traumatized by his mother's sudden death, forcing his father to decide to transfer him to a different school. Fortunately, he gradually became happier and more sociable in the completely unfamiliar environment, and his studies stabilized, although he was sometimes reprimanded for being negligent. His father was always there for him.

Just before this year's 10th grade entrance exam in Ho Chi Minh City, he registered to skip it. He only wanted to learn a trade, loved cooking, and wanted to become a chef.

The three uncles agreed with their son's choice, not forcing him to take exams or continue his studies, but allowing him to change direction after completing the 9th grade program.

So, on graduation and appreciation day, he came to take commemorative photos with the whole class and then went home, beginning his summer vacation, while his classmates were going through the tearful college entrance exams, as we've seen.

How many children, as they grow into adulthood, are free to choose their own lives and education with complete parental respect? There will never be accurate statistics. Even 18-year-olds entering university sometimes lack the arguments to defend their choices and select the field they love and excel in, let alone ninth-grade students.

We often hear about cases where children are forced to study, or many students choose schools and majors according to their parents' wishes, and "children who disobey their parents go astray in a hundred ways."

How many parents ask themselves whether, in their parental choices and belief that they are right, they have truly listened to their children? And how many adults have viewed their children's problems and situations from their children's perspective, or have consulted their children before making decisions?

Please take a moment to ask yourself this question. It's understandable that parents want their children to receive the best possible care and live in the best possible environment. But parents can't live their children's lives for them; it's their lives and future. Being a companion to your child isn't just a familiar phrase or catchphrase, nor is it something to say for fun.

Start by listening, sharing, and advising based on parental experience, but also consider and view things from the child's perspective. Children need to live their own lives, not fulfill or continue the dreams their parents left unfinished.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/dong-hanh-cung-con-dung-song-thay-cuoc-doi-con-2024061909281747.htm