The 8-year journey of 'finding a child' was difficult, but raising a child is 10 times harder.

VTC News•13/02/2024

Thanh Ngoc's arduous eight-year journey to have a child culminated in the sweet reward of a handsome and adorable son. However, after having a child, the singer realized that the hardships she faced were only the "beginning" of a long journey for a mother. She confided, "Giving birth is difficult, but raising a child is ten times harder."

But with the noble role of a mother, she is always grateful that her child came into her life. The singer admitted that she has changed a lot after having a child.

In an interview with VTC News , the former leader of the girl group Mat Ngoc shared many little-known details about her 8-year journey of "trying to have a child" and her happy married life with her loving and doting husband.

Singer Thanh Ngoc and her husband remain deeply in love after more than 13 years of marriage.

"My husband is a superhero."

Thanh Ngọc is a famous and prominent female singer from the girl group Mắt Ngọc, which dominated the Vietnamese music scene from 1998 to 2004. After the group disbanded, the singer continued to work independently and achieved some success. Thanh Ngọc got married in 2011 and went through a difficult process to give birth to her first son.

Thanh Ngoc and her husband have been married for exactly 13 years now. With everything they've been through, their married life truly embodies the saying, "fire tests gold, hardship tests strength."

Speaking about the early days of their marriage, she and her husband didn't plan to have children right away; they both wanted to enjoy married life. After some time, Thanh Ngoc discovered that she had health problems that made childbirth difficult.

"My ovarian reserve was low, making it difficult to conceive naturally. At that time, we both underwent treatment according to the doctor's plan."

Recalling her eight long years of "searching for a child," Thanh Ngoc said: "In total, I underwent ovarian stimulation seven times and in-vitro fertilization three times. There were times I conceived, but then it wasn't meant to be. Baby Un was the last embryo. When the pregnancy test showed two lines, my husband and I were both happy and worried ."

Throughout my pregnancy, I was constantly worried because the doctor warned me about my health and that I needed to be extremely careful until the baby was born.”

Unlike other pregnant women, Thanh Ngoc had to stay in bed for the entire 9 months and 10 days. All of the singer's personal needs, from washing her hair to hygiene, were taken care of by her husband.

Each time it was time for a prenatal check-up, Thanh Ngoc would be carried to the clinic by her husband and then back to bed, minimizing her movement. At one point, she had to be hospitalized for 45 days for doctors to monitor her condition.

The journey to "find a child" was arduous, but fortunately, she had the support of family and friends.

However, the prolonged period of bed rest during pregnancy caused Thanh Ngoc, an active woman, to suffer from leg atrophy, and the pressure from the fear of "losing her child" led the singer to develop depression.

Although her husband and family were always by her side, her mental illness continued to torment her every day. At that time, the singer lifted her spirits with hope as she watched her unborn child grow day by day.

Despite trying to protect her baby, due to her weak constitution, Thanh Ngoc was forced to give birth prematurely at 31 weeks of gestation, while healthy babies are typically born after 38 weeks.

She gave birth 7 weeks prematurely, so her son weighed only 1.4 kg at birth. The doctor placed the baby on her lap, and before she could even hold or caress him, he was transferred to another pediatric hospital for further care. With mother and child in two different hospitals, Thanh Ngoc's husband had to constantly travel back and forth to get breast milk for their baby.

"I think my husband is the real superhero. Both my baby and I need extra time to recover, which means my husband has to work even harder."

When talking about her husband, Thanh Ngoc couldn't hide her happiness and joy. However, there's also something that always weighs heavily on her mind.

What makes Thanh Ngoc always feel "indebted" to her husband is that while other doctors his age have their own clinics, he still resolutely refuses because he has to drive her to performances in the evenings. The singer revealed that her husband doesn't let her go to performances or work alone.

"Having children is difficult, but raising them is ten times harder."

Thanh Ngoc confided that she agreed to share her difficult childbirth story so that those who had followed her and truly cared about her would have an answer.

"I let those who love me know a little about what happened to me. But I don't want that story to make people think I'm trying to get attention to return to my profession. Because this is a personal matter, I only want to speak about it once so that those who love me understand."

Her son is now 5 years old, but when Thanh Ngoc recalls the difficulties and hardships she and her husband faced and overcame while searching for him, she feels choked up.

She believes that their current success is due to good fortune. The couple worked very hard, and as a result, they have been blessed by higher powers.

"People often say that when you're sick, you should seek help from all directions." Besides modern medical methods, my husband and I have visited many temples to pray for a child. When our child grows up, we will take them back to give thanks," Thanh Ngoc shared.

Speaking about the changes she's undergone after becoming a mother, the singer said she's become a different person. "I've changed in my outlook on life, in how I treat my child, my family, and those around me."

Now, for the former leader of Mat Ngoc, she views life more lightly, no longer being harsh about any issue or person.

Sharing her thoughts on raising children, the singer lamented, "Giving birth is difficult, but raising children is ten times harder." Although she and her husband share the same parenting views, arguments are unavoidable in their lives. The singer wants to teach her children through words, patiently explaining things to them. But sometimes, unable to bear it any longer, she raises her voice at them.

"I believe that children are a reflection of their parents. If you scold your children, eventually they will get angry and scold you back in the same way. Children learn bad words from their parents. Raising children is not simple; you can't use the old methods of corporal punishment, coercion, or imposition. You have to learn alongside your children every day."

"My husband is a doctor, so he sees illness everywhere. He's so meticulous that it's difficult for our child to have direct contact with the surrounding environment. This often leads to disagreements between us. Having a child has made me gentler and more able to control my temper."

The singer admitted that she has gradually become gentler and less hot-tempered than before.

Having fulfilled her wish to have a child, Thanh Ngoc affirmed that she does not want to have any more children because pregnancy has been very difficult for her. The pressure of "keeping the baby" during the period of confinement still frightens her to this day.

"Now I can't have any more children because who will take care of me and the kids? I think I'm approaching 40, and my health isn't good enough for childbirth anymore. I should also enjoy my personal life a little, because only when I'm balanced can I bring happiness to my loved ones. If I'm not healthy and my spirits aren't good, I won't be able to take care of anyone."

Thanh Ngọc performed in the show "Beautiful Women Riding the Waves".

Trinh Trang

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