Last-minute cancellations: How to handle them without causing offense?

A last-minute cancellation can be disappointing. Last-minute cancellations are not uncommon, but not everyone knows how to cancel politely.

Reasons for last-minute cancellations

Having had numerous canceled appointments, Nguyen Minh Tu (24 years old, office worker, working at 18th Street, Hiep Binh Ward, Ho Chi Minh City; formerly Hiep Binh Chanh Ward, Thu Duc City) said that the main reason was the inability to arrange a suitable time.

According to Tú, canceling appointments sometimes isn't because they don't want to meet, but because they haven't been able to balance their personal schedules. "Often, appointments are made well in advance, but then unexpected things arise on the day, and they can't make it," she said.

Some people choose to cancel appointments at the last minute due to unexpected commitments or mood swings.

PHOTO: TC

Meanwhile, Nguyen Van Hung (26 years old, residing on Nguyen Thi Tuoi Street, Vinh Loc Commune, Ho Chi Minh City; formerly Vinh Loc A Commune, Binh Chanh District) believes that canceling appointments sometimes stems from scheduling conflicts or momentary emotions. "Usually, I agree to any invitation because I'm afraid to refuse. Many times, the schedules clash without me noticing, and I only realize it when people remind me close to the date. At that point, I have to cancel one of the appointments," Hung said.

He also admitted that there were times when he simply "lost the mood to go." "I usually just text that I'm busy and don't go, I don't know how to say it tactfully," Hung shared.

Conversely, Dang Anh Nhat, a student at Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology, said he has often been in situations where appointments are canceled at the last minute. "It's not that I don't understand, but notifying me too late makes me feel like my time isn't being respected. Gradually, I don't want to proactively invite people anymore," Nhat said.

Despite having agreed beforehand, they later informed him that they couldn't attend the scheduled date.

PHOTO: SCREENSHOT

Similarly, Nguyen Thi Minh Thu, a student at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities in Ho Chi Minh City, said she had been "stood up" many times right before a date. "As a girl, I have to prepare quite a long time before each outing. When I receive a cancellation message just before the scheduled time, it feels very unpleasant," Thu shared.

How to cancel an appointment tactfully?

According to psychologist Bui Vinh Nghi, a lecturer at Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology, repeatedly canceling appointments at the last minute can directly affect relationships. "The person whose appointment is canceled easily loses trust, lowers expectations, and gradually limits future meetings to avoid the feeling of waiting or discomfort," Nghi observed.

According to Ms. Nghi, when we haven't mastered time management, we easily become overwhelmed, arriving at an unprepared date and being forced to cancel. Furthermore, the reluctance to refuse also leads many people to accept invitations first, then back out closer to the date, inadvertently creating false expectations and causing disappointment for the other person.

Last-minute canceled appointments can easily leave those involved feeling disappointed.

PHOTO: THAO PHUONG

From another perspective, psychologist Tran Van Toan, from the Viet Idea Training and Mental Care Center, believes that this habit is becoming increasingly common in the context of digital age communication.

"Refusing becomes easier with just a simple text message or phone call, but once an appointment is set, expectations are formed. Canceling at the last minute can shatter those expectations," Toan analyzed. According to him, the person whose appointment is canceled not only feels disappointed but may also develop a defensive mindset, lose enthusiasm for future meetings, and even have a negative opinion of the person who canceled the appointment.

Both experts agree that, in addition to subjective factors, there are also objective circumstances such as health problems or unexpected incidents. However, the way one responds is what ultimately matters.

"If you have to cancel an appointment, please notify us as soon as possible, explain clearly, and offer a sincere apology," Ms. Nghi advised, adding that suggesting another time would demonstrate a willingness to maintain the relationship.

Sharing the same viewpoint, Mr. Toan emphasized: "The later the notification, the greater the disappointment. For last-minute appointments, calling in person is considered more appropriate than texting because a voice can convey sincerity and remorse much better than written messages. At the same time, you should clearly suggest a time and place for another meeting to shift the other person's emotions towards a more positive expectation."

According to experts, instead of trying to "politely cancel plans," young people need to practice time management skills, learn how to say no, and prioritize. "You should only cancel a date when you really can't attend. When someone makes time for you, that's also a priority in the relationship," Nghi said.

Source: https://thanhnien.vn/huy-hen-phut-chot-noi-sao-de-khong-mat-long-185260514152949858.htm