Six golden words from a mother whose three children passed the entrance exams to Harvard University.

Based on her experience, Ms. Phuong has compiled and written the book "I Sent Three Children to Harvard". Through this, it can be seen that family education plays a crucial role in the future of children.

Fang Li is a famous mother in China thanks to her extraordinary achievement: raising three children (two daughters and one son) who all passed the entrance exams to Harvard University - the world's most prestigious university.

Remarkably, her children were not born geniuses. Her son was even considered "slow" compared to his peers. Yet, under Ms. Phuong's guidance, a miracle occurred.

Accordingly, to have three children all graduate from Harvard University, Ms. Phuong Li shared six golden principles for raising children: Talk a lot, avoid certain things, and learn from experience.

Ms. Phuong Li, author of the book "I Sent Three Children to Harvard".

Talk too much

"My mom talks too much, how can I get her to stop nagging? " is a common complaint from children whose parents constantly nag them about their studies.

But "talking a lot" to Phuong Li wasn't about urging or scolding; she simply repeated three words: "Mom loves you."

When her eldest daughter was in middle school, one day she brought home a wooden wristwatch as a gift for her mother. It was the result of learning carpentry at school.

The mother was cooking dinner, so she placed the gift on the table and continued cooking. Seeing her mother's attitude, the daughter burst into tears, complaining that she had worked so hard to make the gift, but her mother didn't like it and didn't even say thank you.

At that moment, Phuong Li realized she was wrong. She explained, "The watch is very beautiful, but I rarely praise my children because I'm afraid they'll become arrogant."

From that day on, even when urging her child to do homework, the mother would end with the words: "I love you."

"Son, finish your homework before you play. I love you" or "Next time, don't do this. I love you"...

These three words are like a kind of magic potion, helping mothers transmit positive energy to their children.

Later, when friends asked Phương Lị's three children why they had such a good relationship with their mother, all three replied, "Because Mom loves us and is willing to do anything, as long as it's good for us."

According to Ms. Phuong, when parents express their love for their children verbally, children receive the message that the relationship between them and their parents is very positive. They can fully feel the love and care that their family has for them.

Words of love strengthen a child's psyche, making them feel safe and confident in everything they do. The power of words of love for a child is not just temporary, but also fosters strong self-confidence, helping them throughout their lives.

Taboo

Many mothers often scold their children with phrases like, "If you don't study well, you won't get into university"; "With this kind of brain, you won't amount to anything"; "With this kind of education, what will you ever get into?", ... Ms. Phuong Li said that these kinds of things shouldn't be said to children.

"I feel like these phrases are like a curse on children," she said. Parents constantly emphasizing "you can't" or "you can't do it" will make children lack confidence and motivation, quickly giving up on their goals.

In her book, "I Sent Three Children to Harvard," Ms. Phuong Li shares: "Parents shouldn't tell their children that their dreams are unrealistic or that they can't achieve them. Instead, encourage them and say that they need to work hard to achieve those dreams."

Ms. Phuong shared that she has a close friend who graduated with a PhD and has a successful career. This friend believes that her success stems from self-discipline and hopes her son will be like her. Therefore, she created a detailed schedule for her son from early morning to late night.

A few days later, she complained to Mrs. Phuong Li about her son's rebellious attitude. Based on this story, Mrs. Phuong Li said that when planning for children, parents should respect their opinions; their role is only to guide them, not to turn them into robots.

"Forcing and controlling children is unwise. The prerequisite for children to bravely pursue their dreams is the trust and affirmation of their parents ," said the Harvard mother.

Fang Li and her son during a visit to China to see relatives in 2019. Photo: sohu

Experience

Phuong Li believes that mothers should play the role of a coach, " discovering potential and inspiring children to do better in everything they enjoy."

The experience she emphasized has three key elements: allowing children to experience equality, experiencing parental support, and exploring their own potential.

As a result, with their mother's support, the eldest daughter received her first patent in high school, the second daughter was allowed to ice skate when her academic performance declined, and the youngest son wrote his first book at the age of 9.

This mother didn't just offer verbal encouragement; she always put it into action.

After hearing her eldest daughter discuss a scientific study at the dinner table, Phuong Li spent 20 days researching the material, consulting with lawyers, and then encouraged her daughter to apply for a patent.

After learning that her second daughter admired a Chinese figure skater, Ms. Phương agreed to let her try it out and even drove her to class every day, returning home late at night.

To ensure her daughter wouldn't be hungry before her ice skating lesson, she would often wake up at 4 am to cook. When she realized her third son had a talent for writing, the mother persistently went to work at 5 am so she could finish at 3 pm and accompany her son on his writing adventures.

This experiential process for young children not only allows them to explore, but also broadens their horizons.

"Children will have more knowledge, a broader perspective, and be able to do many things that others cannot. They will also believe that they can do anything if they dare to venture out and experiment," Ms. Phuong said.

All three of her children later gained admission to Harvard based on their own abilities, earning Phuong Li the nickname "Harvard Mom."

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/6-chu-vang-trong-viec-day-do-cua-ba-me-co-3-con-thi-do-dai-hoc-harvard-172241201104147881.htm