The secret to creating happiness: "Improve yourself" instead of "improving your children"

Many parents constantly strive to mold their children according to their own wishes. However, the result is often only resistance and a growing disconnect. In reality, the secret to guiding children lies not in punishment or scolding, but in the parents' own journey of self-improvement.

The story of Mr. Le Xuan Tung (construction estimator) and Ms. Nguyen Thi Lan Huong (accountant) in Quang Binh is a prime example: When parents stop trying to "correct" their children and start trying to "correct" themselves, the door to family happiness will naturally open.

Slices of Disconnection

Before discovering these new ways of thinking, the family space of Mr. Tung and Ms. Huong was constantly shrouded in tension and endless conflicts surrounding the upbringing of their children.

Whenever they see their child glued to a game, Mr. Tung usually resorts to harsh scolding, while Ms. Huong opts for the negative solution of confiscating the phone. These reprimands or corporal punishments not only fail to change the child's behavior but also widen the gap between parents and children.

The couple constantly lived in a state of unease, easily becoming irritable in the face of any unfavorable situation. Their anxiety about their child's future transformed into frustration and helplessness. At work, Ms. Huong also suffered from a lack of energy, working half-heartedly and without purpose.

The turning point came when Tung decided to participate in Minh Tri Thanh's "Mind Enlightenment - Self-Understanding" program. There, he experienced a "revolution" in his thinking and actions. This inspired and motivated Huong to join him on this journey.

Psychologist Nguyen Thi Lanh shared her insights at the program "Enlightening the Mind - Understanding Yourself".

Parents who "correct themselves" will have a peaceful family.

The core philosophy that Tung learned on this journey is the concept of the eight aspects of the wheel of life (career, family, relationships, health, personal development, leisure, significant contribution, spirituality). The wheel of life spans three timelines: Past - Present - Future.

Tung realized that the wheel of his life in the past had been quite "distorted." To have a happy future, the first thing he needed to do was to correct and round the wheel in the present.

The first thing you should do is take 100% responsibility, not blaming circumstances or your children, but looking back at yourself to change. Work 100% to give your all. Importantly, you will also find deep inner peace, maintaining a calm state of mind to assess the events that come your way, instead of reacting quickly with immediate emotions.

Mr. Tung and Ms. Huong shared their experiences at Minh Tri Thanh's offline "Creative Innovation" program.

The synchronized changes made by both husband and wife have created a completely new look for their home.

With their children, the parents no longer view games as an "enemy," but rather as a means of connection. Instead of confiscating the devices or scolding them, they have let go of negative emotions. They can even sit down and play games with their children. From there, the wall separating them is gradually being broken down.

The son became more open and willingly shared everything with his parents. Ms. Huong was able to guide him gently without resorting to authority or coercion.

In terms of health, both husband and wife have seen a significant improvement. They jog together every day. The inner peace they experience helps them sleep better and have more energy.

Both Mr. Tung and Ms. Huong have reaped the rewards in their work and social relationships. In a high-pressure business environment with frequent customer interactions, Mr. Tung always maintains his composure to find root-cause solutions, leading to the highest possible work efficiency.

Ms. Huong no longer works half-heartedly but has become a partner and source of inspiration for her colleagues. Her transformation has spread positive energy to those around her.

Instead of trying to "correct their child," Tung and Huong chose a different approach, starting with "correcting themselves." They have reaped positive changes in their relationship with their child and many other aspects of their lives. True happiness doesn't come from forcing others to change, but from inner peace and love within each person.

Source: https://hanoimoi.vn/bi-quyet-kien-tao-hanh-phuc-sua-minh-thay-vi-sua-con-748445.html