Open your heart to befriend your students.

Teachers should treat their students like their own children.

Naturally, parents at home instinctively discipline and soothe their children, no matter how naughty or unruly the child may be. Every parent is willing to forgive, embrace, and protect their child. And perhaps teachers haven't truly seen their students as their own children, lacking the patience, tolerance, perseverance, and forgiveness needed for the mistakes of these young ones?

School days are often described as "the most mischievous, the most troublesome, and the most troublesome of all." Even without food, they'd find ways to steal guavas and mangoes, then gleefully share them with each other. Even without hunger, they'd secretly munch on a piece of cake or suck on a candy under the desk, nervously fearing being caught by the teachers. They might not be the "big boss" or "queen bee" of the school, but one day, encountering a provocative glance or arrogant attitude from a classmate, they'd suddenly feel a surge of heroism and lunge at each other…

Teachers can not only impart knowledge, but also treat their students like their own children.

The naivety of school-age children, the mischievousness of adolescence, and the impulsiveness of youth need to be understood and empathized with by us adults. Sometimes, even the children themselves don't know why, in that particular moment, their temper flared up, leading them to attack their classmates or argue stubbornly with their teachers. After going through a period of cognitive and behavioral crisis, children will naturally discover where they went wrong and which actions caused harm to others… The important thing is that we give them the opportunity to recognize their mistakes and the conditions to change and correct them.

As life becomes more modern and the virtual world expands, good things spread more slowly, while bad things are more easily exposed to children. Therefore, children need more than ever the quality care and attention from their parents to accompany them as they grow up safely. They also need the love and support of their teachers to guide and nurture them into mature adults.

"Human nature is inherently good," meaning no child is truly naughty, stubborn, defiant, or unruly without a hidden reason. That personality, that behavior, that defiant attitude all stem from deep-seated instability in the child's mind, from intense emotional crises, and from the impact of a broken family, the judgmental and scornful glances of peers…

Interacting with students, listening to the stories behind the accounts of parents or local teachers, we encountered countless sad fragments about the sudden, negative changes in a child's behavior, explaining the reckless actions of these students, leaving us with endless sorrow, pity, and concern.

There was a student who was a model class representative but suddenly skipped school and ran away. When his mother brought him to the classroom door, he slumped over his desk, completely ignoring his studies. The worst part was that he even yelled at the teacher before calmly picking up his bag and leaving the classroom. After all the reprimands and threats had no effect, I caught his sad gaze fixed on the window.

Upon inquiring around the class, I learned that the student's parents had recently finalized their divorce. He lives with his mother, and it seems the mother's resentment and bitterness towards her ex-husband have turned into constant verbal abuse and shouting directed at her teenage son. The broken home and the family's separation are deeply ingrained wounds, and now the student is on the verge of falling into a quagmire because of the adults' misguided behavior. I decided to meet with the mother, talk to her like a friend, and then find opportunities to talk to the student, enlisting the help of close friends in the class to support and uplift his spirits. This was the only way I could help my student gradually overcome the shock and become a successful university student.

Understanding the family circumstances of students

There are far more difficult cases where the bad example set by parents influences children's violent behavior. I was shocked to find that every week a different student was involved in hitting another, tripping another, or pushing yet another. After receiving calls from parents complaining about their child being bullied, I contacted the parents and learned about the difficult family situation of a strong-willed student: a father who was often drunk and physically abusive towards his children, and a mother who had left home with a man from the neighborhood…

Teachers need to learn about their students' family backgrounds to understand them better.

ILLUSTRATIVE PHOTO: DAO NGOC THACH

Upon further questioning of the students in the class, I learned that they often belittled their classmates with harsh terms: "the son of a drunkard," "a troublemaker who destroys the village"... I was shocked by the way the children used such offensive language towards their friends. Children are not at fault in the adults' stories, but the thoughtless and cruel behavior of the surrounding crowd can completely drag an individual down into a deep abyss of repeated mistakes. And so I tried to suppress my own ego instead of harshly punishing the students as before.

My conversations with the student became more frequent. My compliments on his gardening and flowerbed care, along with my simple tasks like turning off the fans and lights in the classroom, softened his tone. Pretending to ask him to go to the Student Council room to get the attendance register, I urged the other students to empathize with his situation, to absolutely avoid criticism, ridicule, or animosity. I even asked the parents of some of the "ringleaders" to advise and remind their children…

Teaching and comforting a child who is trying to act rebellious is truly hard work. But when teachers give enough love, they will receive the precious gift of teacher-student affection. By changing their perspective on a child's unusual behavior, understanding the causes, and seeking more positive solutions for guidance, teachers might just be able to transform the student who is causing them headaches and frustration every day due to their constant violations of school rules... Teachers should open their hearts to befriend their students.

Thanh Nien newspaper launches forum "Civilized behavior in schools"

Following the controversial behavior of students and their teacher in class 7C at Van Phu Secondary School (Van Phu commune, Son Duong district, Tuyen Quang province), Thanh Nien Online is launching a forum titled "Civilized Behavior in Schools" with the hope of receiving shared experiences, recommendations, and opinions from readers to gain a complete and comprehensive understanding; helping teachers, students, and parents to behave in a civilized and appropriate manner in today's school environment.

Readers can submit articles and opinions to thanhniengiaoduc@thanhnien.vn. Selected articles will receive payment according to regulations. Thank you for participating in the forum "Civilized Behavior in Schools".

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