Family behavior in modern times

Global integration, digital technology, and the market economy have brought about profound changes in Vietnamese society and families. Amidst the intertwining of old and new, with both positive and negative aspects, harmonizing family relationships depends entirely on the behavior of each member. This involves gradually eliminating outdated notions, preserving and promoting positive traditional values, and embracing progressive and excellent aspects of humanity to build a prosperous, progressive, equal, and happy family.

The Happy Family Contest of Yen My village, Chuyen Ngoai commune, Duy Tien town, 2024.

The notion that "children must obey their parents" is no longer entirely true.

Ms. Hoang Thu Hien and her husband (living in Hai Ba Trung ward, Phu Ly city) have two children, one studying at university and the other in junior high school. Sharing her thoughts on how parents and children interact at home, Ms. Hien said it's not easy at all. While previous generations believed that children should listen to their parents and adults, and that adults were always right, that's not necessarily the case now. Nowadays, children receive comprehensive education, including access to new knowledge, and have access to many sources of information, especially the internet. Furthermore, schools educate children in a way that fosters initiative and creativity. Therefore, there are many things children know that their parents don't, and they will argue if their parents are wrong.

Therefore, the relationship and interactions between parents and children must be based on equality, understanding, and respect in order to educate children effectively and maintain a happy family atmosphere. Children should be allowed to express their opinions; if they are right, parents should reflect on their own actions and even apologize. If a child's thinking is incorrect, parents should find the root cause and find flexible solutions to address the problem, rather than imposing their own will on the child. Parents who want to raise their children well must "learn how to be parents," learning how to interact with their children in all situations, ensuring understanding, equality, and respect. Only then can they help their children grow in the right direction.

Sharing the same viewpoint, Dr. Truong Manh Tien ( Hanoi University of Education, Ha Nam campus) argues that while respecting children's personal preferences and encouraging them to proactively and confidently express their opinions, it's crucial not to completely abandon them. Instead, there must be a fundamental "framework" for behavior and actions, with mandatory rules within the family based on inheriting the beautiful traditions of Vietnamese families. Simple examples include greeting guests, inviting others to eat, expressing gratitude for gifts and help, doing household chores to the best of one's ability, showing care for parents and grandparents, and prioritizing the common good in family gatherings. Parents should teach these things from a young age, explaining them so children understand and willingly follow them. If a child deviates from these norms, parents should investigate the cause, patiently correct them, and even be somewhat authoritarian at times to ensure compliance, as these are all core values ​​of a good tradition. This helps shape their character, instill moral values ​​and a sense of responsibility in them, so they can become good citizens.

Love, respect, equality, letting go, forgiveness

In modern society, respect and equality are increasingly valued in marital relationships. Previously, the concept was that the wife was responsible for housework and raising children, while the husband was the primary breadwinner. Wives had little say in the family, and husbands were often patriarchal and controlling. However, nowadays, wives actively participate in the family's economic development, achieving significant success and social recognition. Nevertheless, work pressure is immense. Without shared household chores, childcare, mutual support, and a strong bond, families can easily fall apart or become unhappy. Many couples believe that to maintain a happy family and raise children well, both husband and wife must know how to behave with respect, equality, love, and care for each other. Husbands should regularly help with housework and childcare. When disagreements arise, they should remain calm to avoid hurtful words and actions.

The relationship between elderly parents and their adult children is also a significant issue if not handled appropriately. Children have the responsibility and obligation to care for their elderly parents; this has always been a fundamental principle. However, busy lives, coupled with the influence of selfish individualism, have significantly affected this principle. Many elderly people do not receive adequate care from their children, and in some cases, they are even mistreated. Nevertheless, most families still find common ground between elderly parents and their adult children. In many families, elderly parents still live with their children's families, actively helping them to the best of their ability, no longer making strict distinctions between daughters-in-law, daughters, sons, and sons-in-law, loving all their children and treating them equally. Children also know how to arrange things so that their parents can live happily, healthily, and contentedly.

From a broader family perspective, including siblings who have grown up and started their own families, most families find common ground and maintain harmonious relationships, fostering strong bonds. For example, they frequently visit, encourage, care for, and help each other. However, some families experience discord, even lawsuits, and estrangement, primarily related to responsibilities and rights. For instance, some siblings may not adequately care for their elderly parents, relying on other siblings. Or, inherited property may not be divided fairly. In these situations, demanding fairness can easily lead to conflict and disputes, ultimately resulting in estrangement. However, many individuals and families have found solutions to these situations without losing sibling affection: prioritizing love, letting go, and forgiveness. Because parents are the ones who gave birth to us, raised us, and cared for us until we grew up, caring for them in their old age is not only a responsibility and duty but also an act of filial piety and a role model for their children and grandchildren to follow. Or, when the inheritance left by parents is divided unfairly, many people give up, feeling content with the thought: Wealth is external; having enough to live on is sufficient. Parents gave birth to us and raised us to be honest; that is the most precious thing. If we suffer a little loss, our siblings will benefit; nothing is lost, and what matters is that family bonds remain.

Integration and the influence of foreign cultures have significantly impacted the "cell" of society: the family. A stable and happy family is essential for a stable and developing society. In 2022, the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism issued a set of behavioral standards for families, including: General behavioral standards: Respect, equality, love, and sharing; Behavioral standards for spouses: Fidelity and affection; Behavioral standards for parents towards children and grandparents towards grandchildren: Exemplary behavior and love; Behavioral standards for children towards parents and grandchildren towards grandparents: Filial piety and respect; Behavioral standards for siblings: Harmony and sharing. These standards both inherit the positive aspects of traditional Vietnamese families and add new elements to suit modern society. All levels of government, sectors, organizations, residential areas, and the people have been closely following the set of criteria to implement and promote movements aimed at building prosperous, equal, progressive, and happy families, creating a foundation for sustainable development.

Do Hong

Source: https://baohanam.com.vn/van-hoa/ung-xu-trong-gia-dinh-thoi-hien-dai-126577.html