Ms. Tong Thi Thu Huong, a doctoral student in Germany, is a parent of a child studying in secondary school in this country. After 7 weeks of entering the first semester, the 5th graders had their first test before entering the fall break. What surprised Ms. Huong was that the school gently “preemptively” informed the parents through a letter about the grades.

In the letter, the school mentioned that when children enter secondary school, their learning will be very different from primary school. They may receive their first “bad grades” and feel “like the world is about to collapse”. It is not easy for children to learn to accept the fact that sometimes others can be better than them. Therefore, the way parents and children solve problems becomes even more important.

“If children know that this is completely normal and that their parents feel the same way, they will learn to cope with bad grades and recover quickly,” the letter reads.

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Ms. Thu Huong and her daughter. Photo: NVCC

Receiving the letter, Ms. Huong felt surprised by the civilized thinking, understanding of the psychology of children and respect for the natural development of children. She also felt “awakened” because she sometimes reacted harshly to her child’s scores.

“For decades studying in Vietnam, I only knew how to study and study. It was thanks to studying that I achieved certain achievements and went abroad. I still believe that the path I am taking is the right one and apply that to my child. Therefore, when my child got bad grades, like many other mothers, I also rushed to buy books for my child to do extra work, and made a schedule to tutor my child,” Ms. Huong told VietNamNet.

But thanks to this letter and the principal's conversation about scores, the Vietnamese mother realized that her child needed to have diverse development, not just focusing on scores.

“Obviously, no one will remember what a child receives from grade 5, but the pressure will affect the child for the rest of his or her life. Therefore, parents are also the ones who need to learn and change so as not to separate themselves from their children and go backwards,” said Ms. Huong.

Here is the full text of the letter the German school sent to parents about grades:

Dear Parents,

The first tests have been distributed and students have received their first feedback. It is normal to get poor grades at this stage, as students are still getting used to the new learning environment in secondary school.

In contrast to primary school, when there was a test, teachers used to send out sample papers and students practiced a lot, to the point that some students scored high without any practice. Now, students have to be more proactive and find ways to adapt to new ways of learning and assessment. This takes time and can be difficult at first.

Some students may start to doubt themselves when they suddenly get a 3, especially if they have always gotten a 1 (in Germany, a 1 is equivalent to a 10 in Vietnam - PV). This feeling may make them feel like the world is about to collapse, but understand that this is just the first step in the adaptation process.

You also have to learn to accept the fact that sometimes other people can do better than you. That is not easy, especially when it is not something you can do differently yourself.

So how parents deal with the problem is even more important, such as preparing their children to face the situation of their grades dropping. If children know that this is completely normal and that their parents feel the same way, they will be able to face the bad grades and recover quickly.

In the future, no one will care about your grades in 5th grade anymore, but what will matter in the future is the experiences you have during your studies.

Learning will become easy and at their own pace if they are not under great pressure and expectations. The most “dangerous” thing is not that they will fail German, sometimes bring home bad grades in Maths or English or be behind other children. The most dangerous thing is that they lose their natural joy in learning and their desire to challenge and curiously explore knowledge.

In secondary school, teachers make an effort and spend the necessary time to support students. What students cannot do yet, they will gradually learn day by day.

Finally, keep the faith that things will be okay. Friends, tests, schoolwork, everything takes time. Maintain your relationship with your kids. They will be okay no matter what.

Say goodbye to them every day with a kiss and enjoy every hug. This will soon become less fun as they get older!

With that in mind, I wish everyone a very relaxing, cinnamon and cocoa-scented holiday. Rest well!

Best regards.

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