The art of being a friend to your child.

For parents, "being a friend to their children" is not just a way to teach them, but a way to nurture trust and connection in love. When parents choose to slow down and listen to their children, their children's journey to adulthood becomes gentler, more fulfilling, and filled with more sharing. Reporters from Tuyen Quang Newspaper and Radio & Television had a discussion with Dr. Ha My Hanh, Head of the Department of Political Science and Educational Psychology, Tan Trao University, on this issue.

Reporter: Madam, during the crucial psychological stages of a child's life, we often see emotional turmoil. So how can parents distinguish these changes and provide support for their children?

Dr. Ha My Hanh.

Dr. Ha My Hanh: The art of being a friend to your child is a skillful balance between love, respect, and proper guidance, helping them feel trusted, listened to, and always having a solid emotional support system. Each generation grows up in a different cultural, technological, and value-driven context. This gap becomes particularly apparent when children enter adolescence – a period when they experience many psychophysiological changes, begin to seek independence, and form their own identity.

When parent-child relationships are built on a foundation of respect and equality, communication within the family improves significantly. Children will no longer hesitate or avoid problems, but will proactively seek out their parents to discuss and find solutions. The busy modern life causes many parents to be overly focused on work and economic pressures, lacking the time to truly listen to their children. When every conversation revolves around homework, test scores, and class rankings, children feel loved only for their achievements, not for their own sake.

Reporter: How would you assess the term "cognitive overload"—the pressure parents put on their children to study according to their strict demands—and its consequences for their future?

Dr. Ha My Hanh: When parents force their children to study too much (packed schedules, demanding the cramming of academic knowledge beyond their age), children don't have enough space and time to systematize their knowledge. The consequence is that their nervous system "shuts down," causing them to lose the ability to think deeply, reducing their concentration and leaving them constantly stressed.

Dr. Ha My Hanh (fifth from the left) at the International Scientific Conference on Psychology.

Regarding personality and cognitive development: Children who learn in fear and under coercion only absorb information by rote, resorting to coping mechanisms, lacking natural curiosity, and developing flexible problem-solving skills. Because they spend all their time on books and under parental control, they struggle with communication, lack life skills, empathy, and independence when they enter the real world.

Regarding long-term learning capacity: The rote learning process creates a "fear of learning." Many children, when freed from parental supervision (for example, when entering university or starting work), fall into a state of resignation, completely losing the motivation to strive.

Reporter: As a psychology expert, what advice would you give to parents on restructuring daily behavior to both protect children and maximize their inherent potential?

Dr. Ha My Hanh: To support their children, parents need to shift from a "behavior control" mindset to a "connecting and guiding" one. In my opinion, there are several core principles that can help restructure daily behavior: creating a "safe zone" to protect children while also providing a solid foundation for them to confidently develop their full potential.

Transform commands into open-ended questions. Instead of directing or judging, ask questions to stimulate critical thinking and problem-solving skills in children. Instead of saying, "You have to do your homework immediately!" try: "I see you're having trouble with your homework. What do you think we should do next to solve this?"

A lesson during the Parent-Teacher Collaboration Project at Le Van Tam Primary School, Minh Xuan Ward.

Acknowledging effort, not labeling results, to unlock inherent potential, parents need to let their children focus on the learning process rather than achievement. The way to do this: Instead of praising, "You're so smart," praise perseverance: "I'm so proud that you didn't give up even though this assignment was very difficult." This way, children will no longer fear failure, but instead have the courage to experiment and push their own limits.

Each stage plays a crucial role and leads to significant changes in a person's life. As children undergo changes in both physical and psychological aspects, including personality, in addition to acquiring knowledge and skills from their surroundings or independently selecting what best suits them, they greatly need the interaction and support of their family. With a safe and loving environment, along with timely praise and encouragement, children will be given the best possible conditions for holistic development.

Each family needs to create space for discussion and evaluation of different viewpoints, helping children develop communication skills, logical thinking, and problem-solving abilities. Emphasis should be placed on giving children confidence and motivation to face challenges and learn how to solve problems on their own. Providing a safe environment where children feel loved and trusted is the best way to encourage their growth.

Reporter: Thank you, Doctor.

Le Duy

Source: https://baotuyenquang.com.vn/xa-hoi/202605/nghe-thuat-lam-ban-cung-con-8157ae2/