Is the future of housewife uncertain?

Many women choose to be full-time housewives, putting family above career. Although this decision brings many spiritual values ​​to the family, sometimes they feel regretful when they do not make money or are weak in front of their other half.

Illustration: DANG HONG QUAN

Once an office worker, Ms. Nguyen Huong (39 years old, living in District 10, Ho Chi Minh City) quit her job after giving birth to her first child. "When my maternity leave ended, I had to go back to work. But the child was fussy and cried when he didn't have a mother, and no one could take care of him," she recalled.

All day busy with housework

Her mother-in-law went to the city to help, but because her family in the countryside was short of people, she couldn't stay long. Finding a place to leave her child wasn't easy because the child was fussy and the cost of daycare, diapers, and milk almost "ate up" her office salary.

Finally, her husband suggested that she quit her job to take care of the children. She did not hesitate to write a resignation letter. A few years later, she gave birth to her second child, and from then on, she officially became a full-time housewife. After more than ten years, she confided that her decision to stay at home as a housewife was... her biggest mistake.

She often describes herself as the "maid" of her father and children, as she does all the housework. The family's monthly living expenses still depend on her husband's salary. "These days, the prices of everything are increasing. Many times, before the end of the month, the money is gone. When I ask my husband to give me more, he frowns and asks me what I spend so lavishly on," she said sadly.

The feeling of helplessness increased when her husband's family compared her to her sister-in-law, who was a department head at a company, had a good income, and could spend her own money to give gifts to her parents-in-law every holiday. Ms. Huong felt hurt, especially when she was accused of asking her husband for money.

When her father in the countryside was sick, her younger brother asked to borrow money to take him to the hospital, but she had no money to help. "I realized that after more than ten years of being a housewife, I was both lazy and didn't have a single penny in my pocket," she confided.

Sometimes when surfing the internet, she reads information shared by people in the same situation that if their marriage breaks up, they will be left with nothing and helpless. That makes her even more worried about the future.

Housewives still worry about financial independence

Unlike Ms. Huong, Ms. Thanh Thao (31 years old, Thu Duc City) chose to be a full-time housewife but with more careful preparation.

Right from the beginning of their relationship, she had been quietly researching and carefully choosing her partner’s financial potential and earning ability before getting married. Her husband was 7 years older than her and had a business inherited from his parents. His job was going well, so even though she had no income, the family was still complete.

However, housewife life is not always as easy as she thought. "Many times when I go to the market, I have to have a headache calculating my spending to fit the amount of money my husband gives me, it's not like when I was a student, when I ran out of money I could easily ask my family for more," she said. Not to mention, some friends look down on her because they think she is dependent on her husband.

Although her husband is still understanding and does not divide money like "you and me", she is still worried about not having her own income and the risks that may arise if her husband is no longer able to earn money. "I don't know what I will do then", Ms. Thao worries.

With many stories like Ms. Thao, Ms. Thu Hanh (40 years old, living in District 5) is a woman who is good at housework, cooks well and is loved by her husband's family. She got married after two years of working in an office. When her first son was 6 months old, she quit her job to stay home and take care of him because she was worried that he was stunted and often sick.

Her husband's family is well-off, and his income is enough to support the whole family, so financial issues are not a concern. Her husband respects his wife very much and always says that housework is harder than that of his female colleagues in the company. Thanks to her husband's understanding, she does not feel like a parasite. Her family's happiness is like the man builds the house and the woman builds the home.

She still intends to find a financial direction for the future. "When my children grow up, I might study more and go back to work, but for now I am satisfied with this life. My husband goes to work to earn money, I stay home to take care of my grandparents and children. I don't feel like I am being supported by my husband because both my husband and his family respect and recognize my value," she shared with her group of friends.

Find ways to make money as a stay at home mom

After a long time of being stuck between the pressure of housework and money spending, more than anyone else, Ms. Nguyen Huong realized that having her own career, even a small one, helps women have a voice in the family and society, while also reducing economic pressure on her husband.

"Choosing to be a housewife is up to each person, but women need to equip themselves with skills and knowledge to be self-reliant and independent in any situation," she learned her lesson. She is planning to make money.

"If I apply for a job now, I'm sure no one will accept me because my application is blank and I'm old. I'll look into selling online, or at most borrow capital from my husband to open a small grocery store in front of the house to earn some extra money," she shared.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/o-nha-noi-tro-tuong-lai-co-bap-benh-20250216101856439.htm