Tolerance in marriage

Tolerance, in short, is respecting and understanding the differences between others and yourself. Living tolerantly means living a life of love, sharing, and forgiveness instead of hatred and resentment. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and no one is perfect. Instead of focusing solely on mistakes, try to look at the issue from multiple perspectives, understand the reasons behind the hurtful actions or words, and cultivate tolerance and empathy.

Learn to be tolerant so that your family is warm, safe, and happy. Photo: THIEN LY

Give each other a chance.

Ms. TT's (Tuy Hoa City) marriage journey went through a fierce storm that lasted for two years. The pressures of making ends meet and mounting conflicts brought their seemingly undying love to the brink of collapse.

During those days, her heart felt like it was breaking. Coldness gradually crept into their home, followed by the devastating discovery of her husband's infidelity. She collapsed, despairing, lost in thought to the point of forgetting to eat and sleep, her body wasting away, her soul shattered. The pain seemed to engulf her forever.

But then, the image of her two young children and elderly parents flashed before her eyes, pulling her back from the depths of despair. She rose up strong, choosing the path of forgiveness, determined to mend her broken home. A sincere and serious dialogue with her husband ensued. She frankly pointed out his shortcomings and mistakes, issuing an ultimatum—a single chance to save their love.

Fortunately, the flame of love remained, only obscured by misunderstandings and a lack of empathy. The wife's forgiveness and sincerity touched the husband's heart. He regretted his actions, resolved to change, and worked with her to resolve all issues and rebuild their home.

Now, that home shines brightly again, filled with laughter. Each person has reflected on themselves, improved themselves, and loved each other more. This simple, peaceful happiness is the result of forgiveness, perseverance, and tireless effort.

Ms. TT believes that one of the crucial elements of tolerance is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting what happened, but rather accepting and letting go of resentment, opening the way for love and healing. Holding onto hurt only widens the gap between two people, leading to persistent discord and hatred. Forgiveness is a powerful act, requiring courage and compassion. It brings immense value, helping to heal wounds and rebuild trust in a relationship.

Accepting differences

According to family psychology experts, tolerance is also demonstrated in the ability to accept differences. In marriage, two people come from two different families, two different cultural backgrounds, and two different personalities. Accepting differences doesn't mean conforming or forcing your partner to change to your liking. Rather, it means respecting, understanding, and knowing how to reconcile those differences to create a vibrant tapestry of life together. Learning to listen, share, and find common ground will help resolve conflicts effectively.

However, tolerance does not mean condoning wrongdoing, unethical behavior, or violations of the law. Tolerance needs limits. If such behavior causes serious physical and mental harm to oneself or one's family, then choosing to let go to protect oneself is necessary. True tolerance means knowing how to balance forgiveness, acceptance, and protecting one's legitimate rights.

Tolerance in marriage is not a sign of weakness, but rather an expression of maturity, genuine love, and respect for one's partner. A tolerant person will create a warm, safe, and happy family environment, providing conditions for the holistic development of its members.
Ms. Hoa Huu Van, former Deputy Head of the Family Affairs Department, Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism.

Senior expert, Ms. Hoa Huu Van, former Deputy Director of the Family Affairs Department (Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism), observed: “Tolerance in marriage is not a sign of weakness, but rather an expression of maturity, genuine love, and respect for one's partner. A tolerant person creates a warm, safe, and happy family environment, providing conditions for the holistic development of its members.” She also emphasized the importance of building positive communication skills, the ability to listen, and empathy to cultivate tolerance in marriage. Learning to put oneself in the other person's shoes, understanding their circumstances and emotions, will make tolerance easier and more effective, ensuring that love in marriage always blossoms and they overcome life's challenges together. Tolerance is not only the key to family happiness, but also the foundation for building a better society.

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