Dear Ms. Ha Anh!
My daughter is 15 years old, and lately she's been less affectionate and talkative with her parents, preferring to stay in her room alone. During the recent April 30th holiday, the whole family went to visit her paternal grandparents, but she said she had to stay for extra classes to prepare for her entrance exams. I agreed because her maternal grandparents and aunt live nearby and I also supervise her regularly via camera.
After returning home from the holiday, my grandmother told me that for the past few days, a boy had been waiting outside my daughter's school to give her a ride. She said the two girls had been acting intimately, and that he might be her boyfriend. She was worried and wanted my husband and me to supervise her and take measures to prevent this, fearing it would distract her from her studies and, more importantly, that she didn't yet know how to protect herself.
During adolescence, my child experiences many psychological and physiological changes, especially when I ask them questions; they become irritable and don't want their parents to control them too much. I'm very worried and don't know how to show concern or talk to them to help them open up more.
Phuong Ha (Dong Xoai City)
Dear Phuong Ha!
At this age, your daughter is undergoing a significant psychological transformation, reflected in her actions, gestures, and attitudes when receiving feedback from adults. She will have many friendships at school, with friends outside of school, and even with friends on social media. To prove she's grown up, she often acts to assert herself, wanting to break free from parental control and be treated like an adult. Therefore, she tends to prefer making her own decisions, freely expressing her individuality, and spending more time talking and interacting with friends than with family.
At this age, your daughter is starting to develop feelings for the opposite sex, but she can't yet distinguish between love and friendship. When you discover your daughter is in a "schoolgirl romance," you need to maintain a calm attitude and view it as perfectly normal. You should spend more time with her when it's just the two of you. In particular, you and your wife need to avoid being hot-tempered, especially in your words, to prevent creating distance between you and your daughter.
During daily meals, you and your spouse can share stories about your experiences when you were their child's age so that the child understands and feels more comfortable sharing. This creates a sense of complete trust, allowing the child to feel more at ease talking and confiding in you.
My wife and I also need to explain to our child that, at their age, love is about mutual respect and helping each other learn and progress. They must learn to protect themselves and not cross "boundaries" to avoid unfortunate incidents that could affect their health and well-being. Navigating this stage with them is a process of love, sharing, and understanding.
Source: https://baobinhphuoc.com.vn/news/258/172806/cho-con-su-tin-tuong-de-se-chia
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