Give your child the trust to share.

Dear Ms. Ha Anh!

My daughter is 15 years old. Recently, she has not been very close to her parents and likes to stay in her room alone. During the April 30 holiday, the whole family went to her grandparents' house to visit, but she said she had to stay to study more to prepare for the transfer exam. I agreed because my grandparents' house and my aunt's house are nearby and I also monitor my daughter regularly through cameras.

After returning home from the holiday, my grandmother told me that these past few days, when my child went to school, there was often a boy waiting outside to pick him up. My grandmother said that the two children had intimate actions, maybe that was my child's boyfriend. She was worried so she wanted my husband and I to monitor and take measures to prevent it because she was afraid that my child would neglect his studies and especially that he did not know how to protect himself.

During puberty, my child has many psychological and physiological changes, especially when asked about things, he shows frustration and does not want his parents to control him too much. I am very worried, not knowing how to care and talk to him to make him open up more.

Phuong Ha (Dong Xoai City)

Dear Phuong Ha!

My daughter at this age is in a stage of great psychological change through actions, gestures or attitudes when listening to advice from adults. At this age, she will have many relationships with friends at school, with friends in society, even friends on online platforms. To prove that she is grown up, she will often have actions to assert herself, want to escape the control of her parents, want others to see her as an adult... Therefore, she tends to like to make her own decisions, freely express her ego, and talk and do activities with friends more than with family.

At this age, children begin to have feelings for the opposite sex, but cannot distinguish between love and friendship. When you discover that your daughter has a relationship like "school love", you need to maintain a gentle attitude, considering it as very normal. You should be closer to your child when it is just the two of you. In particular, you and your husband need to limit your temper, especially in your words, so as not to create distance with your child.

During daily meals, my husband and I can tell stories about our parents when they were our children's age so that they can understand and share openly. This creates absolute trust in our children so that they can comfortably talk and confide more in us.

My husband and I also need to explain to our child that at his age, love is mutual respect and helping each other to study and progress. He must know how to protect himself and not cross the “boundary” to avoid unfortunate events that can affect his health and spirit. Going through this stage with him is a process of love, sharing and understanding.

Source: https://baobinhphuoc.com.vn/news/258/172806/cho-con-su-tin-tuong-de-se-chia