A skill that helps children grow up to be successful is more important than IQ

Dr. Michele Borba is an Americaneducational psychologist, writer, and television host. She has spoken to more than a million people on five continents and to countless media outlets about child development issues.

Michele Borba is a parenting expert and the author of two best-selling books: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine and Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in the World .

The Doctor combines 40 years of teaching and consulting experience with the latest science to give parents and teachers honest, sound advice on how to help children develop properly.

Michele Borba

Through Michele Borba’s research as a child psychologist, she found that perseverance is the number one skill that helps children become successful in life. This is true in fact, as most studies have shown that perseverance is a more important factor in predicting success in children than IQ.

Michele Borba, EdD, is an educational psychologist, parenting expert, and author of "Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine" and "UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World."

Children who have perseverance will not give up when faced with failure and they always believe that every effort will be rewarded. Therefore, children who possess perseverance will be motivated to work hard and accomplish what they desire, despite any obstacles that arise.

Therefore, parents need to immediately grasp these ways to build perseverance in children:

1. Avoid factors that discourage children

You should only set expectations slightly higher than your child's skill level. Illustration photo

The first step is to avoid the four factors that derail persistence. Here, Borba uses the acronym “FAIL” as a helpful reminder:

* Fatigue: Protect your child's ability to concentrate by sticking to a regular sleep routine. Turn off devices an hour before bedtime and leave them out of the bedroom at night.

* Anxiety: The pressure to succeed can feel overwhelming. Show your child that your love for them doesn't depend on their level of success.

* Identity solely based on fast achievements: Let your child understand that success is not fixed, and praise him for his efforts, not for his results.

* Learning expectations that don't match abilities: Set expectations just slightly higher than your child's skill level. Expectations that are too high can cause anxiety, while expectations that are too low can lead to boredom.

2. Teach your child that mistakes are opportunities for growth.

You need to encourage your child to admit his own mistakes. Illustration photo

Remind your child that mistakes can be positive even when things don't go as planned. Own up to your child's mistakes and tell them, "It's okay. The important thing is that you tried your best."

You need to encourage your child to admit his or her own mistakes. This will help your child realize that we all make mistakes and that success only comes when you don't let failure defeat you.

3. Break down tasks into smaller chunks to tackle

Teach your child to break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks. When they can divide tasks, they will be more confident in completing tasks on time.

For example, if your child feels overwhelmed with the amount of homework, you can instruct them to write down each task that needs to be completed on a piece of paper, stack them in order of increasing difficulty, and complete the tasks one by one. Then, your child will find it easier to solve everything in the most scientific way.

4. Celebrate small victories

Even a small success can encourage children to keep moving forward. Illustration photo

Repeated failure can destroy your child's perseverance, but even the smallest success can encourage him to keep going, so help him celebrate his small successes.

For example, you might say to your child, "Last time, you spelled six words correctly. Today you spelled eight words correctly. That's progress. You're improving because of your hard work."

5. Extend your child's attention span

If your child wants to give up on an assignment, put a clock on the table and set the alarm for an appropriate amount of time, appropriate to his or her attention span. Suggest that your child work until the alarm rings, then he or she can take a break.

Give your child praise when he finishes before the bell rings, so he feels successful. Over time, he will become more focused.

6. Assure your child that falling is okay.

Children may give up because they can’t see a way out of a challenge. Parents should share their frustration and reassure their children that it is a normal feeling. It is important to encourage them to take a break.

Then, when your child returns, see if there is anything you can do to help. Once the problem is clear, you need to support them until they gradually overcome the difficulty.

Children may give up because they can't see a way out of a challenge. Illustration photo

7. Praise efforts

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found that when children were praised for their intelligence (e.g., "You're so smart!" ), they were less likely to persevere. But when they were praised for their effort (e.g., "You worked so hard, great job!" ), they were more motivated and performed better.

To increase persistence, praise your child's effort, not their grades or results. Research shows that superficial achievements can actually decrease a child's persistence. That's why high grades and great academic performance are important, but they're not everything.

To prolong perseverance, instead of focusing on grades, parents should praise their children's efforts. Illustration photo

8. Give your child "slogans"

Negative self-talk like, “I can’t do it” or “I’m not smart enough” saps perseverance. Help your child choose a short, positive phrase to say to themselves when things get tough.

Remind your child to repeat the phrase several times over the course of a few days until he or she can remember to use it on his or her own. For example, "Things don't have to be perfect. I will get better if I keep trying."

You need to help your child encourage himself with positive words when facing difficulties. Illustration photo

9. Don't do it for your child

One of the top parenting rules that parents should apply: Never do something for your child, let them do it themselves.

Every time you correct your child or do something for them, they become more and more dependent on you.

Once you know your child can complete a task on his own, take a step back and give him the confidence to feel the success he has achieved through his own efforts.

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Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/mot-ki-nang-giup-con-lon-len-thanh-cong-quan-trong-hon-ca-iq-172240220165618274.htm