Parents clash over end-of-year school appreciation gifts.

As appreciation events become increasingly organized on a larger scale, the question arises: where does the line lie between preserving beautiful memories and financial pressure, between genuine gratitude and mere formalities?

Parents who disagree are removed from the class group.

At the end of the school year, in addition to the pressure of exam preparation and transitions to higher grades, many parents are also concerned about the additional contributions related to appreciation events and graduation parties. This has led to debates about the boundary between voluntary participation, the meaning of appreciation activities, and the financial burden on students' families.

Ms. H., a parent whose child is in 9th grade at a junior high school in Tuyen Quang , said she disagrees with some of the additional fees such as money for farewell parties for teachers or thank-you gifts before students graduate.

According to Ms. H., the implementation of these contributions was not discussed in person to reach a consensus among parents before being carried out.

"Contributions that involve the collective effort require clear discussion and agreement among parents. Each family has different circumstances, so appropriateness and voluntariness must be considered," she shared.

Besides the issue of contributions, Ms. H. also believes that the behavior of some parents during the exchange was not really appropriate, including the arbitrary removal of parents from the class group, causing resentment and affecting the overall atmosphere.

According to Ms. H., after the incident occurred, the school, the homeroom teacher, and the Parent-Teacher Association held a meeting to discuss and clarify the issue. The Parent-Teacher Association also apologized and acknowledged the shortcomings in the implementation process.

The parent asserted that they are not against activities expressing gratitude or parents and students showing appreciation to their teachers.

"Showing gratitude to teachers is a beautiful tradition, a sign of respect for those who have accompanied and educated our children throughout their school years. However, all contributions should be voluntary, avoiding putting pressure on families facing financial difficulties. And gratitude doesn't necessarily have to be measured by material value," she said.

"If a family has the means, they can express their feelings in their own way, but they shouldn't impose their own conditions or thoughts on others' circumstances. The affection and gratitude of parents and students for teachers does not depend on the value of the gift. Whether there is a gift or not, parents still have respect for those who have taught their children," she shared.

433 students participated but ordered as many as 500 meals.

Meanwhile, another case is also attracting much controversy on parent groups regarding a plan to organize a graduation ceremony with an estimated cost of nearly 260 million VND at a high school in Thanh Hoa .

According to the projected income and expenditure for the 2023-2026 graduation ceremony, the proposed contribution is 600,000 VND per student. With 433 students participating, the total amount expected to be collected is nearly 260 million VND.

The expenses listed include meal costs, thank-you gifts for the school, gifts for the school administration, organizational costs such as filming, flowers, fireworks, birthday cake, decorations, and DJ support fees. The sound and lighting equipment was reportedly sponsored by the organizing unit.

The information, after being shared on social media, received a variety of opinions. Some argued that contributing a few hundred thousand dong for a year-end activity is not a large expense. However, many parents expressed concerns about how the funds would be allocated.

A high school in Thanh Hoa province has an estimated budget of nearly 260 million VND for its graduation ceremony.

Of that, the largest expense is for meals, priced at 400,000 VND per meal, with a total estimated cost of approximately 200 million VND, accounting for nearly 70% of the total fund. Notably, while the number of participating students is 433, the number of meals planned is up to 500.

According to some parents, if the difference is intended for guests or service staff, then including the entire cost in the students' general contribution requires clear explanation to gain their consensus.

In addition, the projected expenses for thank-you gifts to the school and gifts for the school's management board, totaling tens of millions of VND, have also become a topic of great interest to many parents.

The debates reveal that parents care not only about the amount of money contributed, but also about the organization, transparency, and consensus during the implementation process. Ultimately, the meaning of a gratitude activity lies in its sincerity and voluntariness, rather than the material value of the gifts or the scale of the ceremony.

Showing gratitude to the school system requires a return to its core values.

Dr. Vu Thu Huong, former lecturer at the Department of Primary Education , Hanoi Pedagogical University, believes that end-of-year appreciation activities should be viewed as educational activities for students, rather than becoming programs focused on formality, entertainment, or excessive enjoyment.

According to her, organizing large-scale events or investing too much in extracurricular activities might stem from a desire to create a positive impression on students. However, if these activities exceed appropriate limits for the school environment, they can easily deviate from the original goal of the appreciation event.

"When it comes to showing gratitude, we need to look at whether the activities organized truly aim for that goal. If we only see activities that are primarily for enjoyment and fun, while the role, feelings, and participation of students are not placed at the center, then the meaning of gratitude will be difficult to fully express," said Dr. Vu Thu Huong.

The female expert believes that a ceremony for students should not only be an opportunity for fun but also have educational value, helping them reflect on their learning journey, preserve memories, and form positive emotions about their student life.

According to Dr. Huong, if activities are limited to parties, photo shoots, or performance-based programs, their educational value may be diminished.

"Parents' reactions and debates stem from the fact that their concern isn't simply about the amount of money contributed. Their worry is whether that expenditure actually creates value for the students. If the activity serves the educational goals, most parents will readily agree," the expert said.

In addition, Dr. Vu Thu Huong also believes that end-of-year activities take place at a time when students are preparing for important exams, so they need to be organized at an appropriate level.

According to her, relaxing activities that help students reduce stress are necessary. However, if the scale is too large, requiring students to spend a lot of time practicing, preparing, or chasing after formalities, this can affect study time and create unnecessary pressure.

To ensure that appreciation activities retain their original meaning, Dr. Vu Thu Huong suggests prioritizing forms of gratitude that originate from the students themselves.

"Besides well wishes, farewell messages, commemorative videos, heartfelt sharing, or handcrafted products made by students themselves, the school can create a space for them to share their feelings and recount memorable moments with teachers and friends. Simple things, but stemming from sincerity, often create much more lasting emotional value than overly elaborate programs," she emphasized.

Source: https://phunuvietnam.vn/phu-huynh-khau-chien-vi-qua-tri-an-cuoi-cap-238260521132524951.htm