Living together or living separately is still family

( Quang Ngai Newspaper) - In today's modern society, preserving and promoting the beauty of traditional families (with many generations living together in one family - called "three, four, five generations under one roof") is increasingly difficult. Besides some young couples who maintain traditional family traditions, there are also many young couples who choose to live separately to create comfort in the family.

According to many people, whether living together or apart, near or far, the most important thing is that family members must spend time visiting and taking care of each other. Because this is the bond of love between family members.

Keep the traditional family

Although working in Quang Ngai City and having the opportunity to live close to their workplace, Nguyen Thi Kim Chi (32 years old) and her husband still choose to live with her husband's parents in Tap An Nam residential group, Pho Van ward (Duc Pho town). After work, Chi and her husband return home and gather with their parents and children. Dinners are always full of family members, the atmosphere is always bustling. "The distance from home to work is about 38km, my husband and I have to go to work from 6am. During the day, my husband's parents help take care of and pick up our two children from school. When my husband and I return home at 6pm, my mother-in-law has finished cooking and taking care of the two children. She spends all day for the children, so I often get up early to prepare breakfast for the whole family before going to work," Chi shared.

Nguyen Thi Kim Chi and her husband chose to live with her parents, so that grandparents and grandchildren can have moments of togetherness.

Nguyen Thi Kim Chi and her husband chose to live with her parents so that grandparents and children can have moments together. PHOTO: BAO HOA

Previously, Chi's family had 4 generations (grandparents, parents-in-law, Chi and her husband and children), now there are 3 generations living together. When living under one roof, family members have more time to care for, look after, and ask about each other. Whenever there is a need, Chi and her husband ask for advice and guidance from her parents-in-law. The living space in the countryside helps their children have meaningful childhood experiences and memories. Sometimes the innocent, cute stories of the grandchildren bring joy to their grandparents in their old age. Chi shared, to live together in a multi-generational family, I think I need to make an effort from myself to harmonize, learn, and improve myself more. Luckily, my parents-in-law create conditions for us to work, stay up late, and support taking care of the children. My husband and I balance work and the families of both sides.

One of the reasons why Chi and her husband decided to live with her husband's parents was because her father-in-law used to work far from home. After retirement, her husband's parents lived closer to each other. Therefore, Chi and her husband wanted family members to be together. "My grandparents prefer to live in the countryside than in the city. If my husband, I and our children lived in Quang Ngai City, the house would be somewhat empty, and my grandparents would miss their children and grandchildren a lot. We are still young, so we think more about the joy and happiness of my grandparents in their old age," Chi confided.

Not only Chi and her husband, living with the in-laws is also the choice of many people, especially young couples in the early stages of building their careers, who need support from their families. Pham Dang Thinh (28 years old), in group 8, Nghia Lo ward (Quang Ngai city), has a 20-month-old child. Thinh said, "My mother stays at home as a housewife and helps take the child to and from kindergarten. My parents said that helping and supporting their children is a joy for grandparents. I work at a coffee shop, my wife sells clothes at a clothing store. Thanks to living with my parents, my husband and I have the conditions to go to work, and taking care of the child is also easier."

Small home, but big happiness

Ms. Bui Thi My Hanh (38 years old), from Tran Phu ward (Quang Ngai city), has a husband from Hung Yen province. After getting married, she and her husband chose Quang Ngai as a place to settle down and live with her parents. Four years later, Ms. Hanh and her husband decided to move out on their own. Although many people objected, for her it was the right decision. Choosing to live separately, having to take care of even the smallest things, but thanks to that, Ms. Hanh and her husband were proactive, arranging their living and working time to take care of their family. Although they were busier when they moved out on their own, they understood and sympathized with each other more. In their own house, their children have space to play and freely create paintings without affecting their grandparents' rest time.

Ms. Bui Thi My Hanh creates a private space for the members of her small family. PHOTO: BAO HOA

Ms. Hanh shared that when living together, grandparents were the material and spiritual support, so there were times when the couple was subjective and dependent. But sometimes there were also small disagreements in daily life, childcare, especially different life concepts between generations. Living separately, my husband and I shared housework and childcare, thanks to which my husband understood more about my sacrifices and hardships. The couple became more connected to strive together in life. The children became more independent. When the children and grandchildren lived separately, grandparents also had time to take care of themselves.

In modern times, young couples have many opportunities and conditions to choose to live separately. When living separately, many young people are proactive, independent and responsible for taking care of their families and accumulating assets for the future. These are also positive motivations for many young couples to strive and make efforts in life. “My husband and I live separately after living with my husband's parents. My husband spends a lot of time doing housework and taking our children to school. Sometimes my grandparents come to visit their children and grandchildren, or on weekends, my husband and I take our children to visit our grandparents. I feel that the feelings and relationships between grandparents and children have become happier than before. For me, living together or living separately is not important, but what is important is that everyone is comfortable, connected and loving," said Ms. Tran Thi My Xuan (31 years old), in Tinh Khe commune (Quang Ngai city).

Bring joy and happiness to each other

Living together or living separately is a topic that many young people are interested in. Living together or living separately depends on the conditions, circumstances, personality, and needs of each person without any imposed "model". Whether living together or living separately, near or far, children and grandchildren spend time asking about and being filial to their grandparents; grandparents care for and encourage their children and grandchildren in the family, life will contribute to bringing joy and happiness to the members.

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