Since ancient times, the Tay people in Cao Bang have had many good customs and practices that demonstrate the spirit of community cohesion. Among them, the custom of sending children to foster care shows the subtlety of the people in community relations, carrying profound humanistic and educational meanings.
According to the Tay people's concept, when a child is born, it is often sick, fussy, and difficult to raise, so the family will send the child to another family to adopt. After sending the child, although it is considered to be given to someone else for adoption, in reality the child still eats and lives in the parents' house. This custom has existed for a long time, demonstrating the mutual love between people.
To send their child, the child’s family brings rice and money to Master Tao’s house. First, they want to see which family their child is compatible with, then choose a good day and month to adopt. After the examination, the family will go and talk to the adoptive parents. When they receive consent, the two families will agree to hold an adoption ceremony. The child’s parents believe that after sending their child, the child will be healthy, avoid all disasters, and be easier to raise…
Ms. Nong Thi Soi, Hop Nhat hamlet, Ly Quoc commune (Ha Lang) said: Before, when my child was born, he often cried, was sickly and difficult to raise, so I asked the master to choose a good day and month for my child to accept Mr. Nong Van Thuan from the same hamlet as his adoptive father. After accepting his adoptive father, my child no longer cried as much, and became more obedient, healthy and easier to raise.
The Tay people can adopt people from the same village or from other villages as adoptive parents. The adoption ceremony will be witnessed by brothers and close relatives of both families. On the appointed day, the family brings the child to the adoptive parents' house. The offerings are usually a chicken or a castrated chicken, boiled chicken, sticky rice, wine, rice, sweets, fruits, etc. The offerings must be complete with the meaning that the family entrusts their child to the adoptive parents. Later, the child will become a child of the family, will eat the family's rice, and will share hardships and difficulties together. At the adoptive parent's house, a worship ceremony will take place. The adoptive parents' family will also slaughter a pig or chicken to celebrate the family having a new member. In addition, the adoptive parents will have a gift for the adopted child, usually a shirt, with the meaning that later the child will become a child of the family, sharing joys and sorrows together. This is also an honor for the family to have an adopted child.
After becoming father and child or mother and child, the adoptive father or mother must have the obligation to educate the child as a biological parent, and must participate in important holidays such as calling the spirit, and the child's future wedding. For the child who adopts his or her parents, on Tet, the child is responsible for visiting the adoptive parents, and the offerings must include chicken, banh chung, trotters, banh khao, wine, etc. On important occasions of the adoptive family such as moving into a new house, weddings, and funerals, the adopted child must also participate. This relationship as well as the child's responsibility to the adoptive parents will be maintained until the end of life.
Over time, the Tay people’s “custom of sending children to foster care” has been passed down and its meaning has remained intact. This is a beautiful custom, a bond of affection between people that needs to be preserved and developed.
Linh Nhi
Source: https://baocaobang.vn/tuc-gui-con-soi-day-gan-ket-nghia-tinh-3170233.html
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