Simple way to be loved

Research shows that liking and falling in love are often triggered by simple factors that help you establish and strengthen social connections.

Meet more often

Professor and social psychologist Natalie Kerr (James Madison University, USA) believes that the more we are exposed to something, the more we like it. This phenomenon is called the mere exposure effect, just like you often prefer listening to familiar music over new melodies and increasingly like a person the more you interact with them.

So make an effort to be seen, over and over again. Turn on your camera during online meetings, comment on your friends’ social media posts, or go to the gym at the same time every day to increase your chances of meeting the same people.

Don't overdo it, though. Too much exposure can be counterproductive, as evidenced by the fact that you can get sick of hearing the same song over and over again, even if you like it.

Remember someone's name

Remembering names is important because it shows that they are important to you. On the other hand, not remembering someone's name or other important details undermines the intimacy of the relationship.

One of the keys to reconnecting with others, then, is remembering names. The strategic solution, according to Professor Kerr, is to practice retrieval, repeatedly getting the information out of your head.

Immediately after being introduced to someone, recall the name from memory. Ask yourself “what’s his/her name?” or use their name in conversation. The more often you retrieve a name from memory, the more likely you are to remember it.

Ask a question

Be genuinely curious about others and ask them questions. Research shows that people who ask more questions in conversations are perceived as more responsive and are more liked by their conversation partners.

Asking questions, especially follow-up questions, shows that you are actively listening and interested in what the person is saying.

Smile

Despite the adage “don’t judge a book by its cover,” people often judge others by their appearance. We assume that attractive people are more competent and socially skilled than others. Professor Kerr also says she finds attractive people more likeable.

In a recent study, Jessika Golle and colleagues (University of Tubingen, Germany) asked participants to rate the attractiveness of computer-generated faces. The faces varied in attractiveness. Some were smiling or had neutral expressions. The results showed that faces were considered more attractive when smiling.

What surprised the researchers was that unattractive faces that smiled were rated as highly as attractive faces that did not smile. “Smiling can compensate for relative unattractiveness,” the researchers concluded.

Explore the similarities

We like people who share our interests, values, and personality traits. Try to meet people who share your interests. If you like hiking, join a club or start one. If you want to learn to crochet, take a class where you will meet people who share your interests.

Once you meet someone with similar interests, explore other things you have in common. These similarities provide fertile ground from which a friendship can grow.

Make them feel comfortable

According to the reward attraction theory, we like people who reward us or who we like. If you want people to like you, make them feel comfortable around you. Be friendly, warm, and positive, and give genuine compliments. If you go to the movies with a friend, choose a happy movie instead of a sad one.

Share positive things on social media. Research shows that people who post a lot of negative things on social media are less liked than people who post a lot of positive things.

This doesn't mean you can't express your feelings honestly when you're feeling anxious or depressed, but only reveal them in an intimate conversation with trusted people.

Express your feelings to them

One of the strongest determinants of whether or not we like someone is whether or not they like us.

In subtle ways, let others know you like them. You can do this by saying, “It was fun hanging out with you tonight,” or through nonverbal behavior, smiling, and looking excited when they walk into the room.

According to VNE

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