Son massages mother for pocket money: The boundary between mother and son

Tori Spelling proudly shared this moment on her social media account. The photo shows Spelling in a nude state, while little Beau massages his mother's feet. Sharing this photo, Spelling wrote: "Beau said he wanted to do some chores so he could start getting pocket money from his mother. A clear plan was immediately made between the mother and son."

The photo immediately sparked controversy in the online community. Many people thought that Spelling’s behavior was inappropriate, even offensive. Many people thought that if Spelling wanted a massage, she should use a professional service instead of letting her children, especially her son, massage her at home.

Actress Tori Spelling has 5 children with her ex-husband, actor Dean McDermott (58 years old), including Liam (18 years old), Stella (16 years old), Hattie (13 years old), Finn (12 years old) and Beau (7 years old).

In 2024, Spelling ended her 18-year marriage with her ex-husband. Both wanted to share custody of their children after the divorce, but Spelling wanted to have primary custody of the children.

Spelling and her husband had been separated for three years before publicly admitting that their marriage was on the rocks. In January 2023, actor Dean McDermott checked himself into a rehab program at a treatment center after a serious domestic dispute. It was after this incident that the couple decided to go public with information about the true state of their marriage.

Tori Spelling with her ex-husband and children many years ago (left photo). Spelling with her youngest son Beau (right photo) (Photo: DM).

Where is the limit in the relationship between mother and son?

From the controversy surrounding actress Tori Spelling letting her young son massage her while she was naked, many people have asked the question: Where is the limit in the relationship between mother and son?

Psychologist Elisabetta Franzoso has an analysis on this. Ms. Franzoso is living and working in Spain. She spent 25 years living and working in many Asian and European countries before settling in Spain.

According to Ms. Franzoso, the relationship between mother and son greatly influences the relationships that man has with other women later in life, when he is an adult. The relationship between father and daughter, or between mother and son, is a very special relationship in the life of the children, creating a profound influence on the maturity of the children.

This relationship has a great influence on the way children perceive, evaluate, and interact with the opposite sex. Boys see their mothers as the first female role models in their lives.

From her practical experience in psychological counseling, Ms. Franzoso has found that problematic relationships between mothers and sons often fall into two categories: either too close or too distant. Both scenarios have negative consequences.

When feeling respected by his family, a son also feels loved by his parents and relatives (Photo: iStock).

In fact, if a mother and son are too close and intimate even when the son is an adult, this will negatively affect his emotional relationships with other women.

To avoid this situation, according to expert Franzoso, when a son begins to enter puberty, the mother needs to think and consider the level of intimacy she wants to maintain with her child. The first step requires the mother to be self-aware, to increase her knowledge and understanding. The mother should ask herself: What kind of mother am I? What kind of mother do I want to be?

Often, mothers find it difficult to gradually reduce their influence and involvement in their sons’ lives, as there is a deep bond between them. However, this is a must. As their children grow into adulthood, mothers need to create the right conditions for them to freely develop and explore the world around them.

From there, mothers will gradually learn to step back so that their sons can have more freedom and independence. In general, parents themselves will know how to consider and adjust to suit their family and children.

According to Ms. Franzoso, cases where mothers and sons become too close often occur in families where the father is absent for some reason, such as the father has passed away or has broken up with the mother. At this time, if the son lives with the mother, the mother is more likely to become too closely attached to the son.

The tendency for mothers and sons to become too close also occurs when the father and mother are distant and cold, even though they may still live together. Often, the mother herself does not realize that this trend is happening in the relationship between her and her son.

Mothers do not want to face the problems they are facing in their personal love life, instead, they pour all their love, care, concern and expectations into their sons.

This makes mother and son very close, but in the long run it can have a negative impact on the son's psychology.

According to expert Franzoso, in the long run, the son can become too attached to his mother and gradually lose his sense of self.

The son may be willing to sacrifice some of his personal needs as a mature, independent man, because he devotes so much attention and priority to his mother that there is little room left for other women to enter his life.

The relationship between mother and son greatly affects the relationships that men have with other women later on (Photo: iStock).

On the contrary, sometimes the relationship between mother and son becomes too distant and leaves psychological consequences for the son. According to expert Franzoso, feeling respected is a great need of sons as they grow up.

When a son feels respected by his family, he also feels loved by his parents and relatives. Love without respect often makes a son feel very uncomfortable.

Many times the relationship between mother and son becomes distant because of a lack of understanding between the two sides, especially the mother's lack of respect in her interactions with her son.

According to Daily Mail/Thrive Global

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/con-trai-massage-cho-me-de-lay-tien-tieu-vat-gioi-han-giua-me-va-con-trai-20250214164143245.htm