A pillar of support for parents in their twilight years.

When children are young, parents are their greatest companions on their journey of growth, change, and maturation. As time passes and parents grow old and frail, their greatest wish, with graying hair, failing eyesight, and trembling hands and feet, is to be cared for and looked after by their children for the rest of their lives. This wish is simple, but to fulfill it, children must have a long process of companionship, empathy, sharing, understanding, love, and patience.

With respect and love

Ms. Thanh Vân's father (Tan Son Hoa ward, Ho Chi Minh City) is Mr. Nam Thang, now nearly 90 years old. For the past 20 years, since her mother passed away, she has been the one who has been close to him, caring for him. Mr. Nam is quiet and reserved. After suffering a mild stroke, he became significantly weaker on one side, and his personality became even more withdrawn. Initially, Ms. Vân saw caring for her father as fulfilling her responsibilities and duties as a daughter. There were times when her father was troubled and upset, and although she sensed it, she didn't dwell on it, thinking that the moods of the elderly fluctuate. Balancing work and caring for her elderly father day and night, Ms. Vân was often exhausted. At times, she felt stressed and didn't want to talk, simply doing her tasks silently out of habit. As a result, there were days when Ms. Vân and her father didn't exchange a single word...

Out of love for my elderly and frail father. Photo: LE AN

Ms. Vân shared: “One night, when I suddenly woke up, I quietly went to my father's room to check on him, but it was empty. Confused, I quickly headed towards the living room to look for him. Before I even got there, I heard my father whispering… I quietly approached, hiding against the wall so he wouldn't see me. I heard him talking to my mother's portrait. He expressed his worries about me once he passed away… All the affection and love he had for me were revealed by my father in the quiet night, with only the dim light of the oil lamp on the ancestral altar illuminating the room. I stood there in the darkness, silently listening to my father's conversation, tears streaming down my face…” At this moment, she fully understood the love her elderly father always had for his daughter, a love that remained abundant, whether he was healthy or ill, young or old. He just didn't say it out loud; he kept it to himself, and as a result, he felt anxious and uneasy for a long time.

From that heart-to-heart conversation with her father, Van understood and felt more deeply his worries about the short time he had left with her. From that moment on, she devoted herself to caring for him more, loving him not only as a daughter but also as the only family member by his side in his twilight years. She spent more time talking, chatting, and sharing with him, trying each day to bring him as many smiles as possible, cherishing even more the time he was still healthy, lucid, able to eat well, and sleep soundly.

Enjoying the golden years of life...

Author Le Thi Thanh Lam has just released her book, "The Keeper of Time, " which focuses on how to "help parents enjoy their golden years peacefully." In the book, the author recounts her journey of caring for her father not only with love but also with keen observation, patience, and the ability to transform everyday moments into messages about family affection.

The heartfelt words written in "The Keeper of Time" easily evoke a sense of familiarity in the reader, as if they've encountered similar scenes in their own lives. These images can be seen right in each person's own home, prompting reflection on how well they've cared for their elderly parents, whether they've been close enough, loving enough, empathetic enough, and whether they fully understand their parents' thoughts and desires. The book also emphasizes the loneliness of the elderly, facing the twilight years with the pain of losing control over their own bodies, and the true feelings and wishes of their parents. Filial piety and sincere care from children help parents overcome life's challenges and obstacles during their golden years.

According to Dr. Dao Le Na: "The book 'The Keeper of Time' has very simple content but delivers profound lessons, showing that the elderly fear being forgotten, that the presence of their children is the most precious gift, and that the old stories parents tell are not just information but also the love they want to convey... from which, it helps readers understand that caring for parents is not only a duty but also an opportunity for each person to slow down, return to the loving values ​​of their roots..."

While the story of author Le Thi Thanh Lam is personal, it also reflects a common issue today. The work serves as a reminder to children with elderly parents to understand, empathize with, and care for their parents with love. Spending time with parents, filled with family affection, through seemingly ordinary moments, is something that is difficult to recapture once they are gone. For decades, parents have been a source of support, trust, and immense love for their children. Now, as they age and their health declines, the companionship, care, love, and support of their parents becomes the most practical way to show gratitude and filial piety.

BAO LAM

Source: https://www.sggp.org.vn/diem-tua-cho-cha-me-luc-xe-chieu-post803550.html