Single mothers - 'warriors' in everyday life

Single mothers are like warriors without armor in everyday life. (Illustration image created by AI).

Many "storms"

Every single mother I meet and know is a story, a slice of life filled with many worries. Ms. Ha Thi Lan, in Tuc Duyen ward ( Thai Nguyen city) is my aerobics classmate. Eleven years ago, she left her marriage after a series of days of betrayal and abuse by her husband. At that time, her daughter was just five years old. Her monthly salary of 7 million VND was not enough for her to cover living expenses and hospital fees for her often sick child.

“There was a month when I only had 200,000 VND left in my wallet and my child wanted to buy a nice dress in the supermarket. I had to turn away and wipe away my tears.” - Ms. Lan said.

Ms. Le Thuy Duong, 41 years old, in Thang Loi ward (Song Cong city), has also been a single mother for 7 years. Her husband passed away after a serious illness, leaving behind a young daughter. With a civil servant income of 5-6 million VND/month, she had to open a drink shop in the evening to make extra money to cover her living expenses.

In single mother groups on social networks, I have come across many stories of single mothers. Many are lucky to have their parents support them, but many have to take care of the financial burden themselves. Some choose to live a private life, not wanting anyone to know that their child does not have a father, for fear of hurting their child.

Not only do single mothers have to bear the financial burden, they also have to endure a lot of mental pressure and nameless sadness. Ms. Le Thuy Duong confided: Sometimes, I feel sad and pity for my daughter who has had to live without her father's love since she was little.

As for Ms. Nguyen Thi Huyen (Phu Binh), she has been a single mother for more than 13 years. She is a teacher, and also thought a lot before deciding to give birth alone, without a wedding, without a man by her side. Ms. Huyen said, when she was young, once she took her child to the hospital, the doctor asked "Where is your father?". A very normal question, but it made her choke up. Or at class reunions, when her friends were married, had children, she sat quietly in a corner. "It's not that I'm jealous, it's just that I feel... so different." Not to mention, at first, she was a teacher, so many people gossiped about her situation of not getting married but giving birth.

Talking about raising her child alone, Ha Thi Lan could not hide her emotions: When she was little, she did not know, so she kept asking where her father was and why he was not with her and her mother. I could only mumble and answer that he was on a business trip far away. She kept asking, why her father was gone for so long and did not come back to visit her and her mother. I had to change the subject and change it to something else.

Single mothers are like warriors without armor in everyday life (Illustration image created by AI).

Face it strong

No one chooses to be a single mother to be praised as strong. But when circumstances force them to choose, they walk that path with love and extraordinary determination.

Hoang Mai Hoa, from Hoa Thuong town (Dong Hy), accidentally got pregnant when she was a freshman. Having married in a hurry and broken up after less than a year, Hoa struggled to study and raise her child. After graduating, unable to find a job in her field, she worked as a factory worker and an office worker to have more time to make up for her child. When asked about getting married again, Hoa just shook her head: "I think my children and I will live like this for freedom. I'm very afraid of marriage."

Returning to the story of Ms. Huyen I shared above, her choice not to get married but still give birth and raise her child alone caused a stir in the countryside where she lived and her family members objected. But she was steadfast. For the past 13 years, she has been teaching and taking care of her son alone. Now, the boy is in 8th grade, studies well, is obedient, and is always her pride.

“Up to now, everyone has understood, sympathized, loved and shared more with the mother and child. Even though life is difficult and arduous, having a child gives me the strength to overcome it.” - Ms. Huyen shared.

Unlike Ms. Huyen, Ms. Hoang Thi Hue , in Trung Vuong ward (Thai Nguyen city) decided to divorce while pregnant with her first child. Her husband was abusive, had an affair, often drank alcohol, came home to curse and beat his wife, even when she was pregnant. So, instead of waiting to give birth, Ms. Hue chose to leave while pregnant. After 6 years, she opened a snack shop. Skillful and diligent, she built a stable customer base and a stable income to raise her child. From a small rented house, she built a level 4 house. Although her small family did not have enough adults, it was full of love.

Another woman I met, Ms. Nguyen Thi Hoa, in Dong Dat commune (Phu Luong), had a traffic accident that left her paralyzed for two years before she passed away. She still works as a factory worker during the day, and at night she livestreams to sell products online. Her two sons are still growing up normally and studying well. She confided: “The economy is a bit more difficult because I am the only one responsible for all expenses. But my children and I have more time together. Sometimes we are even happier than women who have husbands but live in violence or dependence.”

Respect the differences

Meeting single mothers, I appreciate them even more, because they have dared to do the most difficult thing: Step out of their comfort zone, face prejudices and raise their children with all their love. “I don’t need anyone’s praise, nor do I expect sympathy, I just want to live as a normal mother raising my children, like everyone else,” Ms. Hoang Thi Hue confided.

Although it has not become a trend yet, we see many women choosing to raise their children alone. Joy, sadness, hardship, happiness, all the emotions that single women have to accept. They do not wear armor, do not have a husband by their side, but are still steadfast warriors. Each day that passes, is a time for them to overcome fatigue, overcome loneliness to give their children the fullest childhood possible.

Source: https://baothainguyen.vn/xa-hoi/202506/me-don-than-nhung-chien-binhgiua-doi-thuong-ffa1127/